Is it wrong to imagine a girlfriend or wife/partner - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 06:15 AM
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Before I got with my boyfriend I would fantasize about being with him, but I guess it's slightly different from what the OP is referring to as I didn't see any mention to fantasizing about a specific person.


It is sometimes impossible not to do that but had I not ended up with him it would have been very unhealthy - I would have spent a long time fantasizing about someone I would have never been with.

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post #42 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 06:19 AM
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Before I got with my boyfriend I would fantasize about being with him, but I guess it's slightly different from what the OP is referring to as I didn't see any mention to fantasizing about a specific person.


It is sometimes impossible not to do that but had I not ended up with him it would have been very unhealthy - I would have spent a long time fantasizing about someone I would have never been with.
wut


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post #43 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 06:30 AM
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wut


what what?

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post #44 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 06:46 AM
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what what?
No u! Explain yourself!


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post #45 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 07:07 AM
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No u! Explain yourself!


Explain what?

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post #46 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 07:53 AM
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Explain what?
I felt when I wrote that there was something to explain, but it seems when I come down to it I'm just a retard and there's nothing to cover. My apologies.


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post #47 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 08:00 AM
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I felt when I wrote that there was something to explain, but it seems when I come down to it I'm just a retard and there's nothing to cover. My apologies.


Ooh, you're welcome.

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post #48 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 11:50 AM
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post #49 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 10:21 PM
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By the way I HATE the word "partner" it makes me absolutely SICK hehe. I mean that sounds like a politically correct word or something. We are not in the wild west in a shootout with Billy the Kid at High Noon, "howdy, pardner"

If you are straight or gay, there is still no reason to call someone a partner. If you are a woman and have a girlfriend, she is your GIRLFRIEND. If you are a gay guy and are with a guy, he is your BOYFRIEND. When the hell did this partner cr*p start? Also if you go to a doctor or nurse, they all love using that word
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post #50 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 10:38 PM
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By the way I HATE the word "partner" it makes me absolutely SICK hehe. I mean that sounds like a politically correct word or something. We are not in the wild west in a shootout with Billy the Kid at High Noon, "howdy, pardner"

If you are straight or gay, there is still no reason to call someone a partner. If you are a woman and have a girlfriend, she is your GIRLFRIEND. If you are a gay guy and are with a guy, he is your BOYFRIEND. When the hell did this partner cr*p start? Also if you go to a doctor or nurse, they all love using that word
"Girlfriend" doesn't really sound right when talking about, say, a relationship between two 60+ years old people. Besides, how are you going to refer to the participant of a relationship when talking about a general, non-gender-specific individual - "girlfriend/boyfriend"? "Partner" is both concise and descriptive.
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post #51 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-09-2019, 11:55 PM
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Better question: Is it wrong to imagine a therapist and daydream about them giving you therapy? Because I actually do this more often than I daydream about having a partner.

@Disheveled and Lost Pretty sure "partner" is a queer thing that straight people started using.

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post #52 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 12:19 AM
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"Girlfriend" doesn't really sound right when talking about, say, a relationship between two 60+ years old people. Besides, how are you going to refer to the participant of a relationship when talking about a general, non-gender-specific individual - "girlfriend/boyfriend"? "Partner" is both concise and descriptive.
I really don't know what you are talking about. If 2 people are over or under 60, that is kind of irrelevant. Partner is an annoying term, and no one even knows what the hell it means. As far as I know, 2 people can either be friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or family. If you want to send the Webster's dictionary a personal thank you for how great a word "partner" is, by all means go ahead. It isn't concise or descriptive. It is a vague term. Does it mean if people are gay, so then people refer to them as having a "partner" to not offend them and be politically correct? I would be more offended if i was gay and someone mentioned a partner because it is avoiding a sensitive topic in an annoying way. Even you using the term "participant" THAT is an annoying word because it is just an offshoot of "partner." No one knows what the hell partner means.

Again, if 2 people are together romantically, all they can be is boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or wife. Partner could mean friend too, the whole word is confusing to everyone but you.
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post #53 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 12:23 AM
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Better question: Is it wrong to imagine a therapist and daydream about them giving you therapy? Because I actually do this more often than I daydream about having a partner.

@Disheveled and Lost Pretty sure "partner" is a queer thing that straight people started using.
I am sure you are right for the most part, but can't it also mean friend? I know very few people use the term for friends but I guess it technically could be used that way.

I am pretty sure some people who are just lonely and looking for love no matter who they are gay or straight will say, "I am lonely and looking for a partner"

It is an annoying word that can mean so many different things and no one is 100% clear.

"Mate" is just as annoying a word. If 2 beetles "mate," why the hell would anyone use that for people? Just say, "if 2 people get together" or "have sex" or "make love"

"Make love" is another way to put things that is overly sappy. Any woman I ever dated never would have wanted for me to ask her to "make love" I mean seriously, from their side, not me. Make love is something you want to phrase that way so that a young child will not be shocked or offended

I think that a lot of this stems from not offending youth, so they come up with these annoying terms in textbooks to get through to young people and educate them in a way to not offend everyone but end up confusing everyone with tricky words
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post #54 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 02:12 AM
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I really don't know what you are talking about. If 2 people are over or under 60, that is kind of irrelevant. Partner is an annoying term, and no one even knows what the hell it means. As far as I know, 2 people can either be friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or family. If you want to send the Webster's dictionary a personal thank you for how great a word "partner" is, by all means go ahead. It isn't concise or descriptive. It is a vague term. Does it mean if people are gay, so then people refer to them as having a "partner" to not offend them and be politically correct? I would be more offended if i was gay and someone mentioned a partner because it is avoiding a sensitive topic in an annoying way. Even you using the term "participant" THAT is an annoying word because it is just an offshoot of "partner." No one knows what the hell partner means.

Again, if 2 people are together romantically, all they can be is boyfriends or girlfriends or husbands or wife. Partner could mean friend too, the whole word is confusing to everyone but you.
To me, at least, the words "girl" or "boy" imply some level of youth; I cannot see myself calling a 60 year old woman a "girl". From this, it follows that "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" also sound awkward when applied to people of certain age.

I've never said that the word "partner" was "great"; I just prefer to use it because it is concise, descriptive, and its meaning is typically clear from the context. I fail to see what political correctness has to do with it; to me it is just a matter of language efficiency. I have no problem talking about a "boyfriend" or a "girlfriend" when I know enough about the situation to be able to narrow the language down so, but when speaking in generals, I typically do not.

I am not sure why you are so sensitive about this word. You talk about not being politically correct, yet at the same time you are the one picking on the language some use in this thread. I do not quite understand the logic here. I, for one, have no problem with your choice of words. If you choose to talk about my hypothetical boyfriend, even though I'm fairly straight, I will be totally fine with it: again, a lot of the discussion in this thread is based on hypotheticals, so it's not like a wrong assumption about someone is going to break the argument.
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post #55 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 12:41 PM
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By the way I HATE the word "partner" it makes me absolutely SICK hehe. I mean that sounds like a politically correct word or something. We are not in the wild west in a shootout with Billy the Kid at High Noon, "howdy, pardner"

If you are straight or gay, there is still no reason to call someone a partner. If you are a woman and have a girlfriend, she is your GIRLFRIEND. If you are a gay guy and are with a guy, he is your BOYFRIEND. When the hell did this partner cr*p start? Also if you go to a doctor or nurse, they all love using that word

I'll never have a partner, but I like to imagine my PARTNER doesn't have a clear consistent gender or sex as such, so it makes more sense to call them that in a hypothetical discussion or in my head.


'hehe'

Oh it's definitely wrong to imagine most of the things I imagine, but there you go.

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post #56 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 03:17 PM
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Re partner, its just short for sexual partner / life partner / girlfriend / boyfriend / husband / wife, or anyone else you are romantically or long term sexually coupled with. As such there is a pretty strong justification for the word, since it refers to all of those. A doctor or nurse is going to say "partner" because they probably don't know offhand which of these is right, and therefore its a better term than having a guess "oh, you look like you are gay, I will say x", or "I will just assume you are straight because the majority are" (which potentially comes across as "I don't acknowledge gay people exist").

Partner is absolutely fine and by any measure qualifies as a useful word.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #57 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 03:43 PM
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I really hope my post offended you btw, because I'd hate to be politically correct or avoid offending you.
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post #58 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 05:04 PM
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I'd hate to be politically correct or avoid offending you.
.....I'd be offended if you didn't offend me






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post #59 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 08:54 PM
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post #60 of 94 (permalink) Old 05-10-2019, 08:57 PM
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I'll never have a partner, but I like to imagine my PARTNER doesn't have a clear consistent gender or sex as such, so it makes more sense to call them that in a hypothetical discussion or in my head.

'hehe'

Oh it's definitely wrong to imagine most of the things I imagine, but there you go.
A society of slaves to women may sound much more attractive from the female perspective though, than it would be in reality. I recommend reading the Dark Elf trilogy by Salvadore, where the matriarchal Drow society is depicted. Suffice to say, men are not the only ones suffering there.

Humor, on the other hand, is quite encouraged there, so I'll let this pass!
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