Irrational hatred against morning people - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 02:58 PM Thread Starter
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Irrational hatred against morning people


This isn't really 100% related to social anxiety but I don't really know where else to post this. I have struggled to fall asleep before late at night for as long as I can remember and it has ruined my life in almost every single way. I did not actually think about it that much until I found out that this is apparently a "mental illness" called DSPD and even thinking about that makes my anxiety go out of control. Ever since that revelation everything has been made clear to me as to why I failed school and had a bunch of behavioral issues (and yes I know that I cannot blame everything on lack of sleep, although my experience with sleep deprivation has convinced me most of it were due to this) that got me misdiagnosed with a whole array of other "mental illnesses" which made me end up with so many ****ed up cocktails of prescription drugs that have probably ****ed me up even more, as well as the fact that I can never get back the thousands of hours I spent trying to fall asleep at a time when I was not biologically supposed to.


For the past like 2-3 days I have felt an intense frustration towards morning people or basically people who never had to struggle with fitting into a normal sleep schedule like I had to. At this point I feel far more stress and anger that most people are like this than the fact that animal abusers and other horrible people exist. I feel so ****ing robbed from a better life that this hatred feels almost completely justified. I can tell myself that it's not their collective fault that my life is like it is but I'm at the point where I've started to view people like me and the rest of mankind as if we are two different races altogether and that people like me are stuck forever repressed by the rest of the world and there is nothing we can do about it and even if society does become more flexible then there will never be any compensation to people who have suffered like I have.



I don't want to feel like this but at the same time I feel like I have every reason to do so.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 03:59 PM
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I've just had one of the worst mornings in a long time - I feel/felt like I was going insane. largely because I once again stopped my medication. (against the advice of my wife) It's one of the most terrible feelings I've ever felt in my life and is almost indescribable - but I don't "hate" or blame anyone else - that's just absurd. What fault is it of theirs?
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 04:06 PM
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I don't trust anyone who's happy in the morning unless they're drunk or high.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 04:43 PM
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The problem as well is... so if you have delayed sleeping, so? (I do as well btw).

Knowing this doesn't actually change much. There isn't a magic pill you can take that will get rid of it, and there certainly isn't one that can take you back through time and alter everything. I was thinking earlier today about how I used to be so angry because I felt my issues had a biological basis, but even if I managed to prove that, then what? It doesn't magically give a fix. It's nice to have a reason for something, but at the end of the day you still only have the available tools at your disposal necessary to work with whatever problems you have.

Getting annoyed at people who don't have that issue not only doesn't help, but it actually makes things worse:

1. You are angry at people, that is going to come across in how you interact with them. That isn't going to help anything.
2. You are angry at people for misdiagnosing you, but they acted with the best information they had at the time, and, you can't undo it.

So what should you do now? Drop the anger, do what you can to resolve your issue, and then work around it, because it's all you can do. I don't mean this to be insulting, its just a realisation I have recently come to, and be very careful with your kind of thinking, because it can very easily be used as a reason to justify avoidance (avoidance is sneaky like that).

also @harrison hope you feel better soon mate .

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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 05:07 PM
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Oh wow. I've never heard of this, but I must have it, hahaha. I've been a night owl all my life. I've never been able to function in the morning, and habitually go to sleep somewhere between 3am and 9am. My cycle is a bit more than 24 hours, so I go to bed later and later (until I'm going to bed around 9am) and then at some point I'll flip over and start going to bed a bit earlier (at like 3am) and then repeat the cycle. I've never been able to fix it, but I had no idea there was a name for it.

I have insomnia and nightmare disorder, too, though, which sort of messes things up. This was interesting, too, because I have OCD:

Quote:
Persons with obsessive–compulsive disorder are also diagnosed with DSPD at a much higher rate than the general public.
I'm ****ed up in so many ways, it's a wonder I've survived as long as I have.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 08:21 PM
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I can really understand you, It's not possible for me to get up early and be all shiny and happy, as I can't just go to sleep at right time (unless I'm sick or drunk).

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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 08:25 PM
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Is there any way you can get a night shift job? There you'd be the only one having it easy while the rest struggle.

I have a ~25 hour sleep cycle, which I thought was just delayed sleep until I had a chance to set my own schedule and realized that without outside pressures I just keep shifting timezones without favoring any particular time of day over another. Since I've been self-employed with my own unschedule, I've never been sleep-deprived -- before that I was always sleep-deprived. (Which is one of the things that keeps me in self-employment despite not making much money anymore.)

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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 09:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
Since I've been self-employed with my own unschedule, I've never been sleep-deprived -- before that I was always sleep-deprived.
I'm self-employed and I'm always sleep-deprived, lol.

It was worse when I was working fulltime in retail, though. I was a zombie most days. There were evening shifts, but I only got those maybe 2 nights a week. My average schedule there was a couple of day shifts, an evening shift, then another day shift, then another evening shift, then another day shift. The day shifts were often right after an evening shift, so I'd get basically zero sleep between them (go home at 1am, be back at work at 8am, 9 hour shifts). It was hell on my body and is partly why my health is so messed up now. Lived like that for 13 years.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 09:35 PM
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Originally Posted by truant View Post
I'm self-employed and I'm always sleep-deprived, lol.
The difference perhaps is you live with people. When I lived with my parents it didn't matter if I had the summer off, I'd still feel pressure to conform to when others were awake. Not enough pressure to get me to bed early, but it kept me from ever staying up much past sunrise.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-01-2019, 11:31 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paul View Post
The difference perhaps is you live with people. When I lived with my parents it didn't matter if I had the summer off, I'd still feel pressure to conform to when others were awake. Not enough pressure to get me to bed early, but it kept me from ever staying up much past sunrise.
I live with a sibling I rarely talk to or even see. (He's even more anti-social than I am, and sleeps about 12 hours a day.) There is no pressure to conform here, lol. Also, I've lived alone for years at a time and it made no difference whatsoever. It's a good theory, though.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 10-02-2019, 01:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SplendidBob View Post
The problem as well is... so if you have delayed sleeping, so? (I do as well btw).

Knowing this doesn't actually change much. There isn't a magic pill you can take that will get rid of it, and there certainly isn't one that can take you back through time and alter everything. I was thinking earlier today about how I used to be so angry because I felt my issues had a biological basis, but even if I managed to prove that, then what? It doesn't magically give a fix. It's nice to have a reason for something, but at the end of the day you still only have the available tools at your disposal necessary to work with whatever problems you have.

Getting annoyed at people who don't have that issue not only doesn't help, but it actually makes things worse:

1. You are angry at people, that is going to come across in how you interact with them. That isn't going to help anything.
2. You are angry at people for misdiagnosing you, but they acted with the best information they had at the time, and, you can't undo it.

So what should you do now? Drop the anger, do what you can to resolve your issue, and then work around it, because it's all you can do. I don't mean this to be insulting, its just a realisation I have recently come to, and be very careful with your kind of thinking, because it can very easily be used as a reason to justify avoidance (avoidance is sneaky like that).

also @harrison hope you feel better soon mate .
Thanks Bob, feeling a lot better - just tired now. I took some medication (plus half a Valium) and had a sleep. I just wanted to see if the dizziness I get would go away if I stopped my pills. I can't remember whether I had this before I took them or not - the way I felt this morning was most likely withdrawal I'd say. Pain in the neck tbh.
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