Im very lonely - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 01:31 PM Thread Starter
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Im very lonely


I have nobody. Im spending 99% of my time on my own (1% with family). i rarely step out of home, probably once a week (just for buying something or doctor appointment). taking anti depressants is not making a difference.

I have social anxiety of course. and Im worried because i will start studying at university this year, im not sure if i can do this. Im too scared of social places.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-31-2019, 09:47 PM
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I already posted on your other thread , I wouldn't enter University unless you're absolutely certain or at least 80-90% confident in what you want to study otherwise it's just going to be trainwreck on top of having SA. It'll be difficult for you to cope unless you have clarity and know exactly what you want.

You might feel more alone too and become more depressed because you're going to be confronted with people who aren't lonely, who don't have SA and who know what they want in life, and will get it. I would suggest against studying unless you're really passionate about what you want to do and have a clear vision in that.

Go to Uni/tert education when you're ready, when you have more clarity and can cope more with SA and being alone.

Depending on your economic status, it can be a big mistake to enroll too early into something you're not even sure about. It is your choice though, if your family is loaded then the blow won't be as big if you don't succeed but you would've have still used up valuable years of your life. That's why I suggest going when your heads in the right place first or at least when there's less clutter and more focus. :/

If I was about to enter Uni/Tert, I'd be worried about being the most talented or skilled in my field than being alone. :P

I don't wanna exist
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-01-2019, 06:36 AM Thread Starter
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I already posted on your other thread , I wouldn't enter University unless you're absolutely certain or at least 80-90% confident in what you want to study otherwise it's just going to be trainwreck on top of having SA. It'll be difficult for you to cope unless you have clarity and know exactly what you want.

You might feel more alone too and become more depressed because you're going to be confronted with people who aren't lonely, who don't have SA and who know what they want in life, and will get it. I would suggest against studying unless you're really passionate about what you want to do and have a clear vision in that.

Go to Uni/tert education when you're ready, when you have more clarity and can cope more with SA and being alone.

Depending on your economic status, it can be a big mistake to enroll too early into something you're not even sure about. It is your choice though, if your family is loaded then the blow won't be as big if you don't succeed but you would've have still used up valuable years of your life. That's why I suggest going when your heads in the right place first or at least when there's less clutter and more focus. :/

If I was about to enter Uni/Tert, I'd be worried about being the most talented or skilled in my field than being alone. :P
ill never be ready for university or anything. because my social anxiety cant be cured
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-02-2019, 04:12 PM
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ill never be ready for university or anything. because my social anxiety cant be cured
None of us are ready. Just do those things what you have to do by the way you can and you will graduate some day. Go to support groups etc.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 08:36 AM
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Im very lonely


Quote:
Originally Posted by theplayer View Post
ill never be ready for university or anything. because my social anxiety cant be cured

It doesn't get better if you don't take any risks. The years just pass you by and your SA never changes if anything things get worse.

Depression:

Depression is essentially just about going to war with the thoughts in your mind so maybe you can practice meditation and begin by reading ”The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle to further understand this concept. Managing depression should be your #1 priority.

SA:

The way you overcome SA is by giving your mind positive experiences in situations that cause a lot of anxiety. Believe it or not, even bad experiences can assist you in the long run because you can learn from them, therefore continuing to expose yourself is more beneficial then avoidance long term. You want to have as much control over the outcome of your exposures and for this you'll need a structured plan so you can understand exactly what to do when you're in anxiety provoking situations. I would recommend getting a self help book such as ”Shyness and SA by Sean Cooper” or any other form of self help to assist you when you're out there.

Gradual Desensitization:

The hardest part is taking action and pushing yourself past your comfort zone. You'll have to baby step your way through life gaining more and more confidence as you go. Gradual desensitization is the easiest and safest way to go about all if this.

Continue to educate yourself and good luck.


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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 04:42 PM
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Ditto


I'm pretty much in the same boat. I spend most of my time on my PC and I usually just spend that time doing random crap...

I see beautiful people every day on my commute via public transport but I never have the guts to reach out to someone. Not even sure if that's socially acceptable considering we're all going to work.

I think it'll do me some good to finally visit the support group that's real nearby me. I plan to once I can finally get some leg-room in on my expenses but for the moment things are OK.

I wish you the best in university. I didn't take full advantage of everything I should have nor did I make it the better experience but I did learn lots of lessons—and not just from an academic or career standpoint.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
― Osamu Dazai, No Longer Human
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