I want to be social and talk to people but can't - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
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I want to be social and talk to people but can't


I want to be social, I want to be able to talk to anyone. But I always feel tounge tied.

Let's say I am out, I want to talk to people, but I always feel there is something holding me back, like an human sized elastic band around my waist, and everytime I walk over, I feel it pulling me back.

It really frustrates me, I blame it on other things, such as the loud music, or the type of people in the building but it is me.

I don't know why I am like this, I hate it.

Anyone else in the same position? If you are how do you deal with it?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:46 PM
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I relate. Whenever I want to jump into a conversation I ...for whatever reason can't. And then they moved on from the topic so there goes that chance.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:49 PM Thread Starter
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Exactly, I always feel alien or they see me as something strange
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 03:58 PM
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That's probably more common than you think, but is probably there because you want to get to know people but they aren't as receptive as you want them to be.


We have to scale back that kind of thinking. The goal is share as much as they do unless you really see that there is a problem with them.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christopher23kit View Post
I want to be social, I want to be able to talk to anyone. But I always feel tounge tied.

Let's say I am out, I want to talk to people, but I always feel there is something holding me back, like an human sized elastic band around my waist, and everytime I walk over, I feel it pulling me back.

It really frustrates me, I blame it on other things, such as the loud music, or the type of people in the building but it is me.

I don't know why I am like this, I hate it.

Anyone else in the same position? If you are how do you deal with it?
That's a good way of describing it. It's social anxiety - fear of what these people will think of you, not exactly unsurprising if you have trouble thinking of things to say - it would make the conversation a bit tricky.

My situation is weird. I also have that initial feeling of hesitation and often downright avoidance. But I know for a fact if I do choose to push through it and go and talk to people I'll probably be better at it than they are. Sounds like a wank but its true.

I still obviously fear their judgement on a different level though - my life situation, not working, mental health issues etc.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 06:26 PM
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That only happens when I don't have anything in common with the people characteristic traits.

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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 06:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Christopher23kit View Post
I want to be social, I want to be able to talk to anyone. But I always feel tounge tied.

Let's say I am out, I want to talk to people, but I always feel there is something holding me back, like an human sized elastic band around my waist, and everytime I walk over, I feel it pulling me back.

It really frustrates me, I blame it on other things, such as the loud music, or the type of people in the building but it is me.

I don't know why I am like this, I hate it.

Anyone else in the same position? If you are how do you deal with it?
I can definitely relate. Today I wanted to socialize at church and I said something really shortly 'I liked the band and the music singing' or something like that and then I think I looked away or down, that's in real life. He said 'Thanks for the encouragement' and smiled.
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