I want people to suffer....RANT - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 06:23 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 69

I want people to suffer....RANT


Hey guys so I know that I'm not suppose to feel this way because I recognize that it is wrong but sometimes I wish bad things on people. I suffer from depression anx have been suicidal in the past and I absolutely hate it when people say things like "just be more greatful" or "people have it worse than you" or "oh woe its me" and ect. I also hate it when people call suicide selfish because they are supposedly leaving behind loved ones for two reasons. First of all, some people who commit suicide might not have any genuine loved ones. Perhaps they dont have any friends or they have family members who are abusive towards them. Therefore, they might feel like if they kill themselves they are not actually leaving anyone behind. The second reason why I hate this phrase is because when I was suicidal, i felt a ton of guilt and i felt like a burden on my family so as twisted as it might sound, i felt like i was doing my family a favor by killing myself (yes i know this is not true but this is how i thought and how alot of other depressed people think). For instance, I tried to kill myself by investing 200 tylenol. I went to the hospital and the doctor said that if I would have waited a little while longer then I would have needed a liver transplant which are tens of thousands of dollars. I remember thinking that if my liver were to actually fail then I would rather the hospital just let me die then my dad pay 50000 dollars to get me a new liver. Because if my dad played 50000 dollars for something I did (which he doesn't have the money for) then I am better off dead. Anyway, I sometimes wish that people who say these kinds of things would suffer mental illness to understand how out of touch and ignorant they sound. I'm just very angry right now. I dont actually want anyone to suffer mental illness. It's horrible. I just wish people were not so ignorant and were more empathetic...sorry didn't mean to come off rude.
Infinitegalaxycat is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-02-2019, 10:29 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 634
Well in this society you can't even talk about suicide. Everyone wants to look and seem Ok all the time. I never attempted suicide but I had suicidal thoughts for the longest time, I still do on and off. I remember when Kurt Cobain died, I was always super depressed about it for a while, and then I realized that the lead singer of INXS who was more popular than Nirvana i think, and other rock stars also took their life and suffered the same fate. The lead singer of INXS was not the depressed loner like Kurt Cobain was, he was just heartbroken and his wife wouldn't let him see his kid. Anyway I obviously am not promoting suicide. Kurt Cobain and the band was quoted as saying at some point how everyone sees Nirvana as this screwed up depressed band and Kurt said himself he had good times. The way I see it, it is not a cowardly act necessarily, it can be but it can also be a case of your luck running out. I had a great friend for 7 years and dated my dreamgirl for 2 and a half years on and off and they were both a loonnnng time ago. I mean without those 2 people, my life kinda sucks and is pointless, I am alone all the time now for so many years. I mean in my case, it is possible my luck ran out. The most famous rich DJ ever was making like $250,000 a show in Vegas, he did house music, and was dating models, and one day decides to lock himself in a room and I think purposefully OD'd on hard drugs. Even though he is in shape, he always saw himself as the fat kid who got picked on. Basquait the painter dated a ton of women and was popular in the art scene in NYC, and lost Andy Warhol as a friend and became a lost soul and died soon after. Kurt Cobain is more of a case of him being an angry misanthrope who could not get along with people and an outcast. Other cases such as the lead singer of INXS are more cases of a person who was loved and socially competent who could not take the pain. I mean in many cases people luck runs out. I still am obviously not advocating suicide, i am just making the point that I no longer see it with the same shock and horror and sadness that I used to. The way I see life, after dating and having a few friends, is that whether I stay home and watch TV for the next 10 years or if I go out and date gorgeous women and have a bunch of friends, both will be equally stressful just in different ways. There really is no easy way out and no amount of friends or girlfriends will fix you completely or make you feel complete. Everything in life is an ongoing process and you can never be fixed 100% and just be "OK from now on" you know.

And i wish bad things on people all the time. The key is they have to deserve it. I have gone as far as cursing people in the name of Jesus Christ on the Bible, but I won't get into that right now hehe. Anyway the point is, if you want to hate or wish harm on someone, you damn well better be justified and they better deserve it, or that will come right back and bite you. I know this sounds crazy but I reason with God, if I curse someone I explain my reasons and I try to give back to and bless people and wish good on people who deserve it. You have to do some good to balance out things like that. If you just wish harm on people and don't balance it with blessing people that means that all you are is a demon in human form. There is no shame in wishing harm on people but you MUST wish harm on people who deserve it, all that is is karma
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 02:44 AM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: paraspectral_semireality?
Gender: Other
Age: 32
Posts: 5,788
When depressed, it's common to wish ill upon others.

Depression stirs anger and hate. I'm depressed right now and when I'm feeling this way I just want the world to burn down in a chemical fire. I recognize it's irrational but I have to air my grievances while I have them otherwise they'll fester in me even when my depressive state has subsided.
Posted via Mobile Device
versikk is offline  
 
post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-03-2019, 05:15 AM
SAS Member
 
findyourself's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: phoenix
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,981
My Mood: Scared
It’s true what they say about misery loving company.. of course, you want others to suffer. Their reality doesn’t affect you because they’re not in your life. That’s how humankind is.. nobody really cares about each other unless you’re a part of their household family. But you gotta know.. imagine how you’re feeling and imagine your anger.. that’s how millions of other people feel too. We’re all here and we’re all bitter inside because we can’t get what we want.. well, guess what.. someone will! Some people have it all while others have nothing. Life can be summed up in two words... No fair!

Ps: with suicide rates as high as they are.. we gotta give ourselves a pat on the back for being the superior, intelligent, proactive successful people that we are!



I've been seeking happiness for years.
I've lived in hiding from the darkness.
I've spent so many hours in question.
I've prayed that God finds me soon.
Only to realize I must find myself.
findyourself is offline  
post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 01:19 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 634
Quote:
Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
It’s true what they say about misery loving company.. of course, you want others to suffer. Their reality doesn’t affect you because they’re not in your life. That’s how humankind is.. nobody really cares about each other unless you’re a part of their household family. But you gotta know.. imagine how you’re feeling and imagine your anger.. that’s how millions of other people feel too. We’re all here and we’re all bitter inside because we can’t get what we want.. well, guess what.. someone will! Some people have it all while others have nothing. Life can be summed up in two words... No fair!

Ps: with suicide rates as high as they are.. we gotta give ourselves a pat on the back for being the superior, intelligent, proactive successful people that we are!
The only thing i disagree with is that "People who have it all" aren't living some great life. "Having it all" gets boring and you can get used to anything in life. Whatever you get, it will be come stale and you will just need a bigger better more extreme version of it, and THAT will eventually lose it's luster. My point is, "having it all" is overrated
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-04-2019, 10:21 AM
I'm not OK (I promise)
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: I've come to burn your kingdom down
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 36,255
Yeah I often want to hurt people.

https://www.socialanxietysupport.com...post1093752955

Quote:
Please don't attempt to raid Nevada to 'see them aliens' as part of the internet's joke du jour, the US air force will not be amused.
Slavoj Žižek on the horrors of tulips.

🎸

Call me morbid, call me pale
Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-06-2019, 04:21 PM
We don't belong here.
 
iminnocentenough's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 991
My Mood: Innocent
Yikes. If you guys are going to actually do it then please don't take anyone else out along with you.
Posted via Mobile Device
iminnocentenough is offline  
post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 07-06-2019, 10:08 PM
Malevolent Dictator
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 47
Posts: 8,771
My Mood: Brooding
I don't ever feel this way. I don't want anyone to suffer because the thought of pain makes me feel sick. I want people to change into something nicer and make amends for the wrong they've done.

Are you sure you want to permanently delete this culture? [Yes] [No]
truant is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome