I waited for her 7 years but she still ignore me - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 12:48 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely

I waited for her 7 years but she still ignore me


I love someone, I love the same girl from 7 years, I love her since I was 13 and she 14 but she never gave any attention to me, we keep in touch, she even helped me to learn for the final exam from highschool she had a big contribution because I took the exam but we were never friends, we always had a very formal relation, I fell like even if 7 years passed I don't know her, she know everything about me, but I don't know anything about her, she was always very secretive with me, she always keept me in such a gray area, we are not friends, but when she is bored(I think) she contact me on skype and talk to me, but normal conversation, nothing deep, she never opened to me, 7 years she keept me in this gray area where I'm not even a friend, now she even has a boyfriend and soon they will leave the country and move toghether and probably get married they are from 3 years toghether already but I still want to talk to her, I still love her, I still just want to go out with her at least 1 time, the last time when I asked her if she will come with me she said that she will in weekend I waited a week when weekend came she said she has work to do and she can't come, now she told me this weekend will come with me, this weekend passed and she just told me she can't came because she has a lot of work to do...I felt like she is just passing me she is trying to find excuses to don't come with me, at least if she told me straight in the face, it makes me angry, 7 years I waited for her and I still wait and no result but I can't ignore her.

7 years I opened myself like a book to her hoping that she will do the same thing but it never happened

To be honest, I think she is some kind ****ty, I mean she bragged to me how she had sex with her boyfriend, how she lost her virginity and how she had sex for benefits with other guy, I can say she brag about her sexual life, and in my opinion such things are 100% private I never heard anyone to talk about them in such an open manner and it made me think she is some kind of ****ty maybe she is not, maybe she is just childish or she doesn't care, but even if I tell myself that she is a ***** I can't hate her, I can't stop talking to her, to care about her, even now I have some doubts that she is making video porn chat at night but I can't hate her, it's hard when you love such a person.

And she is strange...she is telling me that she is an introvert like me and she has just 3 persons in her skype list but when I look at her skype profile it says 29 and she has 1000 facebook friends, almost any teen from this city has her as a mutual friend with me, but she says she is not popular, she is lonely, but 1000 facebook friends, most of the popular teenagers from this city are in her friend list I don't understand, she says a thing but she looks exactly like the opposite.


Before I had my final exam before I finished highschool I stopped contacting her I took her out from my mind and keept her away because I just suffer because of her but she offered to help me to learn for my exam and I thought that it's a chance that something will change and we will be at least friends and I started to contact her a lot but nothing changed we had the same cold relation like before, now I want to just go back to how we were before the exam, cold and formal relations, talking from time to time and throw her out from my mind again.

What's wrong with this girl?What do you think?I should stop talking to her?I don't understand her behaviour she is so strange sometimes it's like she care about me and sometimes it's like I can even die and she will never care
nordision is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:02 PM
Father, Son & Holyzilla
 
Jesuszilla's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Gender: Male
Age: 29
Posts: 7,406
My Mood: Mellow
You put way too much energy into her. She's had FWB, relationships and so on all these years and saw you as a friend the whole time...and you waited.

Moral of the story as a man NEVER wait for woman. Always go for what you want and always be honest with a girl. For the love of everything holy meet other women!!!
Jesuszilla is offline  
post #3 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:32 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 336
My Mood: Cool
Seems like she doesn't care about you. Just stop talking to her & find another woman.
Pixie3 is offline  
 
post #4 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixie3 View Post
Seems like she doesn't care about you. Just stop talking to her & find another woman.
But she offered to help me for the exam, why she did that?
nordision is offline  
post #5 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:48 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,664
That's the problem people with SA run into- the natural inclination to get obsessed over one person, usually in futility. Thing we should be doing is lowering our standards and talking to multiple people, dating to get experience and build up our confidence.

Thing you should have done long time ago is just be direct - I like you, be with me, or lets say goodbye. Letting it drag out for so longthinking you were winning points with her was foolish. You just parked yourself in the friend zone and slashed your own tires.
mjkittredge is offline  
post #6 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:50 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 2,802
Lol.. I don't even want to imagine the amount of blue you have on your balls..

7 years lol... Wow..

Learn to take the hints that she wasn't interested in you.. She basically used you as a door mat, when she was bored or when she needed someone to talk to to boost her ego lol.

Yikes... 7 years...

Wow. Please cease all contact with her OP.
My Hearse is offline  
post #7 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 01:52 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 2,802
Quote:
Originally Posted by mjkittredge View Post
That's the problem people with SA run into- the natural inclination to get obsessed over one person, usually in futility. Thing we should be doing is lowering our standards and talking to multiple people, dating to get experience and build up our confidence.

Thing you should have done long time ago is just be direct - I like you, be with me, or lets say goodbye. Letting it drag out for so longthinking you were winning points with her was foolish. You just parked yourself in the friend zone and slashed your own tires.
Yep.
My Hearse is offline  
post #8 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 02:10 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 336
My Mood: Cool
Quote:
Originally Posted by nordision View Post
But she offered to help me for the exam, why she did that?
You said she offered to help after you stopped contacting her.
She was afraid of losing someone she can use when she is bored. From your description, it's clear that she has no interest in you, you should not be wasting your time on her.
Pixie3 is offline  
post #9 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 02:14 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely
I lost her now in this moment (( she told me to don't ask her to go out again, she has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to talk with me anymore, she told me to have a nice life and she hopes that I will find someone too.
nordision is offline  
post #10 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 03:07 PM
LEFT SAS
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,791
Quote:
Originally Posted by nordision View Post
I lost her now in this moment (( she told me to don't ask her to go out again, she has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to talk with me anymore, she told me to have a nice life and she hopes that I will find someone too.
You never had her. You deserve better.
slowlyimproving is offline  
post #11 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-15-2015, 03:10 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Canada currently
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 1,939
My Mood: Fine
i used to love someone who was strange towards me too OP

he's like 35, but he was the one always there for me, i guess it's better to be rational than insane, [it's far away he's not even here, but he knows me, it's actually kinda telepathic too... oddly enough no i'm not schizo]

A) big age gap
B) i wasn't mad for him, i always been rational, it was good while it lasted
C) too many things....
D) i loved 2 people ....... and the one i married was actually the one i always cared for and feel better with, actually and i'm glad cause i guess i stayed with the person who loved me most, and was more beautiful to me.... and there for me, not strange and distant because they doubted the relationship...
E) i didn't love him more.....
F) i didn't know he was a curator? i found this out so late...
G) it's mad

OP i cared about the well being of this person, i still do, i want him to get married, because in 5 years he's 40....... i don't want him to struggle with me, little me, idk, i just knew he had my email n never emailed me, so that means he didn't love me much either, and picked up on me loving my (now hubby). strange how that works



it's so stupid to chase someone, or WAIT. if they care, they'll reply.
theotherone is offline  
post #12 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 01:40 PM
forever single
 
Hayman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Cheshire, UK
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 2,729
Hmm...from the way you describe her @nordision , she sounds like a classic case of a lady 'testing the water'. Someone who'll be friends with several men (usually alphas, but not always) and then picks and chooses who she wants, when she wants. This appears to be how the dating scene works these days and I'm sorry, but I find it atrocious how one-sided it's become. How perfectly decent men can just be tossed to one side, often in relatively quick succession, without thought to their feelings...

It looks as if you've fallen into the same trap I did. The trap of putting someone up on a pedestal and looking 'up' to them. Trying to taylor your own interests to hers (maybe done subconsciously) without trying to be happy with yourself. Sadly, this gives her the upper-hand and immediately puts you in a position of weakness. A position where you can be used and strung-along. Seriously...don't do this. I know how painful it is when it all comes crashing down around you, despite your honest and genuine efforts to try and positively get her attention to try and develop a relationship.

I concentrated my efforts on my former crush for two years before I finally accepted that not only there wasn't going to be anything between us, but a lot of what she was saying about being "unlucky in love" was, lets just say, bending the truth to the extreme? Why? She admitted that she's had a couple of brief flings in her distant past and seemed to enjoy one particular bedroom activity and rejecting them afterwards. She also openly admitted she was very picky and despite moaning that no one wanted her, she was telling guys to " 'f' off" at the local pubs and clubs as they weren't "her type".

Not only did I put her on a pedestal, she was also putting herself up on one also - thinking she was better than she really was. A toxic combination.

A bit like yourself with your 'crush' though, I'm struggling to stop thinking about her. It's horrible isn't it?! This is what I'm trying to deal with at the moment and trying to find ways and means to get around it and perhaps lose those last remnants of feelings towards her. What makes it difficult is that she's a work colleague - and sits side-on about ten feet in front of me, nine hours a day, five days a week...

Honestly, I'd be taking the advice as already mentioned earlier on in this thread. Never, ever wait for a lady to come to you. Especially males like ourselves who have SA. It never happens and even if they are friendly to you - it's only because they're 'testing the water'. This is something I've found out for myself and began to accept in recent years. If you don't have that flamboyant care-free nature (which males like us don't), you'll never be the number one choice. You're just someone to talk to whilst she's jumping from one boyfriend to another - no-doubt breaking their hearts at the same time too. I suppose you could also refer to this as 'trying before buying'. Sadly, it's been taken to the extreme these days and now it seems morally acceptable to do, without any fear of ridicule.

Sadly, this seems to be the world us SA guys live in when it comes to relationships. We think we might, ever-so-slightly, be getting somewhere with one particular lady. Someone who is willing to vaguely communicate with us, out of a sea of otherwise complete snubbing. However, it all inevitably comes crashing down around us. We’re either being strung-along like other men queueing up for them (again - the unfair way the dating scene works these days), or because of our severe inexperience, are simply misreading non-existent signs.

To be honest with you, I think the only answer is for us to take ourselves off the market and try to concentrate on making ourselves happier, stronger, independent people. Away from the dating scene altogether. What will be, will be... (or won't, rather).

"My life is an endless purgatory, interrupted by profound moments of misery"

My Blog: https://haymansafc.wordpress.com/
Hayman is offline  
post #13 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 05:17 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hayman View Post
Hmm...from the way you describe her @nordision , she sounds like a classic case of a lady 'testing the water'. Someone who'll be friends with several men (usually alphas, but not always) and then picks and chooses who she wants, when she wants. This appears to be how the dating scene works these days and I'm sorry, but I find it atrocious how one-sided it's become. How perfectly decent men can just be tossed to one side, often in relatively quick succession, without thought to their feelings...

It looks as if you've fallen into the same trap I did. The trap of putting someone up on a pedestal and looking 'up' to them. Trying to taylor your own interests to hers (maybe done subconsciously) without trying to be happy with yourself. Sadly, this gives her the upper-hand and immediately puts you in a position of weakness. A position where you can be used and strung-along. Seriously...don't do this. I know how painful it is when it all comes crashing down around you, despite your honest and genuine efforts to try and positively get her attention to try and develop a relationship.

I concentrated my efforts on my former crush for two years before I finally accepted that not only there wasn't going to be anything between us, but a lot of what she was saying about being "unlucky in love" was, lets just say, bending the truth to the extreme? Why? She admitted that she's had a couple of brief flings in her distant past and seemed to enjoy one particular bedroom activity and rejecting them afterwards. She also openly admitted she was very picky and despite moaning that no one wanted her, she was telling guys to " 'f' off" at the local pubs and clubs as they weren't "her type".

Not only did I put her on a pedestal, she was also putting herself up on one also - thinking she was better than she really was. A toxic combination.

A bit like yourself with your 'crush' though, I'm struggling to stop thinking about her. It's horrible isn't it?! This is what I'm trying to deal with at the moment and trying to find ways and means to get around it and perhaps lose those last remnants of feelings towards her. What makes it difficult is that she's a work colleague - and sits side-on about ten feet in front of me, nine hours a day, five days a week...

Honestly, I'd be taking the advice as already mentioned earlier on in this thread. Never, ever wait for a lady to come to you. Especially males like ourselves who have SA. It never happens and even if they are friendly to you - it's only because they're 'testing the water'. This is something I've found out for myself and began to accept in recent years. If you don't have that flamboyant care-free nature (which males like us don't), you'll never be the number one choice. You're just someone to talk to whilst she's jumping from one boyfriend to another - no-doubt breaking their hearts at the same time too. I suppose you could also refer to this as 'trying before buying'. Sadly, it's been taken to the extreme these days and now it seems morally acceptable to do, without any fear of ridicule.

Sadly, this seems to be the world us SA guys live in when it comes to relationships. We think we might, ever-so-slightly, be getting somewhere with one particular lady. Someone who is willing to vaguely communicate with us, out of a sea of otherwise complete snubbing. However, it all inevitably comes crashing down around us. We’re either being strung-along like other men queueing up for them (again - the unfair way the dating scene works these days), or because of our severe inexperience, are simply misreading non-existent signs.

To be honest with you, I think the only answer is for us to take ourselves off the market and try to concentrate on making ourselves happier, stronger, independent people. Away from the dating scene altogether. What will be, will be... (or won't, rather).

You are right about that, I think the best decision is to stay away from this, the suffering is to big.That's what I decided, I don't need anyone anymore, I just want to live my life alone with my music and my books.
nordision is offline  
post #14 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 05:23 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,372
7 years...

7 whole years?

7 gawd damn YEARS????

B**ch, do you know how much p***sy you could have had in that amount of time????

*leans forward and*

*SLAP!!*
thinkstoomuch101 is offline  
post #15 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 05:28 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkstoomuch101 View Post
7 years...

7 whole years?

7 gawd damn YEARS????

B**ch, do you know how much p***sy you could have had in that amount of time????

*leans forward and

*SLAP!!*
I think you forget that you are on a forum for social anxiety persons, I can't even socialise and go out in public how do you imagine I can have women after women?
nordision is offline  
post #16 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 05:40 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,372
Quote:
Originally Posted by nordision View Post
I think you forget that you are on a forum for social anxiety persons, I can't even socialise and go out in public how do you imagine I can have women after women?
Yes, i know that we are on a social anxiety forum.

Maybe you must forget that a shy man like yourself is SEXY???

Those mannerisms, that genuine shy way about you?? Man, don't you even KNOW what damage you're capable of doing to a woman's heart?? Your shyness is REAL.. not contrived, or manipulative.

That's a gawd damn TURN ON!!

leans forward again..

**SLAP!!!**
thinkstoomuch101 is offline  
post #17 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 05:43 PM Thread Starter
Nordision
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: European Union
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 381
My Mood: Lonely
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkstoomuch101 View Post
Yes, i know that we are on a social anxiety forum.

Maybe you must forget that a shy man like yourself is SEXY???

Those mannerisms, that genuine shy way about you?? Man, don't you even KNOW what damage you're capable of doing to a woman's heart?? Your shyness is REAL.. not contrived, or manipulative.

That's a gawd damn TURN ON!!

leans forward again..

**SLAP!!!**
Uhm we are not?Women like strong guys, confident guys, with money, muscles, extrovertsm they just play with guys like me with sa.
nordision is offline  
post #18 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 08:16 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 4,372
ummm... yes you are..

no more slapping..

one day, you'll see..
thinkstoomuch101 is offline  
post #19 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-16-2015, 09:42 PM
Socializing with myself
 
EmotionlessThug's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: New York, Westbury.
Language: English
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 4,777


Artificial Intelligence ready to start World War 3, but the people still ignore them. I hate when people brag, they just want attention, they should feel embarrassed for using people for their own personal favors.

Damn media manipulating us, and keeping our subconscious in a bubble.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers governing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA Software Engineers & NASA computationally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events. Getting away with airplane crashes, accidents, diseases, homelessness, and suicides.
EmotionlessThug is offline  
post #20 of 58 (permalink) Old 11-22-2015, 10:06 AM
SAS Member
 
allthatsparkles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 901
You need to stop "waiting" for her. If she's known you for seven years, and still doesn't see you as more than a friend, she never will. If you keep waiting for her to see you in a different light, you'll be waiting for the rest of your life.

"Don't be afraid to give up the good and go for the great."
allthatsparkles is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Evidence for a young earth jimity Science and Philosophy 43 12-25-2015 12:15 PM
Woman convicted of witchcraft to get retrial 300 years on jingybopa Society & Culture 10 12-02-2015 05:38 PM
Kentucky elects businessman as second Republican governor in 40 years Cletis Society & Culture 5 11-04-2015 10:07 PM
My life story over the past 7 years or so, improving every day Raly Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 10 11-03-2015 08:02 AM
Daily benzo use for 10 plus years? Himi Jendrix Medication 5 10-15-2015 02:01 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome