I've been quiet all my life and now my communication is weak - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 03:13 PM Thread Starter
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I've been quiet all my life and now my communication is weak

So yeah cut long story short, I'm 24 and people keep asking me to repeat myself or misunderstand me and I think it's due to me not speaking loud enough and also not clearly enough. I don't know how I can help myself to speak clear enough other than speak slowly but that will take forever to get used to. As I've been quiet and shy type with no friends at all, I've spent all my life alone in bedroom and now I think my communication is affected. I am so embarrassed when people keep asking me to repeat myself at work because it's my first job which I've started recently at the age of 24 and I feel I'm not good enough.

Any advice is helpful, thank you.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-17-2017, 03:58 PM
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Dont worry a lot of us feel similar, when people talk to me im quiet and my voice sounds weird and anxious. And dont be hard on yourself, im sue you're just fine for your job. Just keep practicing to socialize when you can, anf with time, it will get easier and you will be more confident.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 01:40 AM
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It's understandable because you started recently and... it's your first job! I also didn't have people to talk to and was super awkward and stumbling over words answering the phone in my first job -- but I became good at it over time - even better than my coworkers who had better "social skills" or whatever. I also started that job mumbling & speaking softly to my coworkers and supervisors, but as I became more confident in the work and knew what I was doing, I became better at communicating with them over time. If something you say makes you feel embarrassed... it's OK, that's a normal feeling... be patient with yourself and keep it up, and you will get better. I know it's not the same as talking to other people, but you could also practice talking out loud to yourself. I talk to myself a lot :P
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 03:42 AM
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You just need more practice and experience. First time is always tougher with anything.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 12:33 PM
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I suffer from the exact same thing. It's so common for people to ask me to repeat myself.

Also, I feel like my voice is very monotone. It's not very expressive. My nephew one time commented that I sound like a robot lol.

I don't know if it helps, but I've been practicing reading out loud to a voice recorder, then playing it back, taking note of what words or inflections I need to work on to sound more normal, clear, and alive, and repeating them again and again till I sound ok.

Doing the same might work for you.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 01:48 PM
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I think it's a common problem for us who suffer from social anxiety. I'm so bad at speaking and communicating that it feels like a handicap. I wish I had the courage to see a speech therapist.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-18-2017, 02:04 PM
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I'm in the same position as you, what I find helps is having conversations with myself out loud to improve my thought process in forming coherent sentences. I also try to speak slower as you mentioned, so instead of rushing through what I have to say, I allow myself some time to articulate my thoughts and enunciate words correctly.
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 03-19-2017, 03:04 AM
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There are plenty of videos on youtube that can help. Just search "voice training" and go from there.
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