I've become bitter - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 04:04 AM Thread Starter
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I've become bitter


I'm very angry and bitter with life.


I am very far behind my peers, who have good jobs, families of their own and successful lives in general.


I am still living at home at 32, no job, no girlfriend and no prospects despite studying hard for two degrees.


I feel like my life never started.



I don't understand how life is so easy for other people. I feel like I am on hard mode. Even the people who failed high school are doing ok.



My mental health is jacked. I am so confused now that I don't know who I am anymore. Therapists were useless and made me feel worse. The sessions were aimless.


Life feels unreal, I feel disconnected and like I'm not even living. I feel numb and without emotion. Am I even here? This is torture. I want to die. I can't do this. It all feels too late.
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 07:18 AM
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I can't relate to knowing lots of successful people who have everything going for them and no problems, most people my age seem to be doing badly in some way... But yeah still bitter and angry.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 08:01 AM
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I know how you feel. But at least you have two degrees. That's such an accomplishment, and something to be really proud of! I couldn't even manage one because I couldnt go to uni because of my anxiety. That's something that you can "one-up" your peers that you speak of.... Is there anything in particular that you want to do with your life?


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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 08:04 AM
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i understand how you feel....im in a similar situation.....im 44 live at home (always have done), no job no career despite having gone to university (i dropped out due to social anxiety) no friends, no girlfriend (and yeah havent even had sex)

yeah im bitter but i have to let go of these things as they are destroying me
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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by irishkarl View Post
i understand how you feel....im in a similar situation.....im 44 live at home (always have done), no job no career despite having gone to university (i dropped out due to social anxiety) no friends, no girlfriend (and yeah havent even had sex)

yeah im bitter but i have to let go of these things as they are destroying me
Thats interesting because I thought as you age social anxiety gets better.

I think maybe you need to seek help from therapy. You cant continue living like this especially at that age.
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 11:22 PM
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born to grandparents

who apologised too much
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-23-2020, 11:36 PM
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There's no point, let it go, life is indifferent & brutal, if all else fails try to view yourself from a third person perspective & laugh at what a beautiful pitiful creature you are .... If you're able to achieve that then you've truly won.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-24-2020, 02:41 AM
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Almost everyone in my family is as messed up as I am (dad's the big exception). My friends are messed up, too. I look at other people, who have gone to university (unlike most of the people in my family), gotten long-term employment (unlike most of the people in my family), been in long-term relationships (unlike most of the people in my family), and who haven't been diagnosed with psychiatric disorders (like almost everyone in my family) and think, "Huh. Must be weird to be educated, gainfully employed, married, and not on medication. Do people like that even exist, or is that a construct of the Hollywood-industrial complex?" I'm not sure I know a single person like that, aside from my dad. It's sort of nice, in way, though, because it's hard to feel like a ****-up when basically everyone you know is a ****-up. What sucks about it is that every person you know is an anchor just waiting to drown you. I think it would be nice to know people who, even if they don't help, at least don't try to drag you down with them.

I love Society. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-24-2020, 03:52 AM
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Find a better therapist, there’s always going to some **** ones that u won’t like or feel like arnt helping you make progress u just have to keep looking
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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 06-24-2020, 09:09 PM
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Yeah same here. I'm almost 30 and feel numb because the way I live is considered ****ed up by society. Even if I'm ok with it, people will still judge it which makes me not want to even leave my house or make small talk with humans in general.
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