I'm still beating myself up.
Over the last 3 months, I've quit gambling 2 1/2 months, quit smoking 6 weeks cold turkey, started weightlifting 5 days a week and eating healthier, dentist, going to physiotherapy for both my feet. I've been doing positive things for myself that I've never have done in over 2 years. Then it seems mind doesn't allow myself to feel good about all the things I've done and the effort I've put in.
Then the negative come's in my mind... it has fun. Your big for nothing 6'2 270lbs 18%bodyfat. I'm too nice, no friends, no job, lost social skills somewhere I can't get find, and mental illness. very attractive resume for getting a girlfriend.
Over 3 years ago things were way different, but today is now. Living in the present is difficult and painful. Sometimes I just have too get out of my head.