I'm so used to not having a personality - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-23-2011, 06:45 PM Thread Starter
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I'm so used to not having a personality


My parents divorced when I was 1 because my dad was cheating. I grew up alone because my mom had to work a full-time job so I was pretty much born into being an introvert. I think I used to have some sort of personality because I had a small group of other losers that I called friends. They were all smart and went away to college after high school leaving me alone. I didn't go to school and started smoking weed everyday. Complete isolation. This fall I started school locally, I'm doing film production because I love movies. I told myself for a year that this would be where I finally come out of my shell and talk to people. School starts, I have boring small talk with people that goes nowhere. Weeks start to go by and I can't move passed small talk. I don't have anything else to say. It's not that I'm anxious, it's literally that I have nothing to say at all. It depresses me, I see people starting to become friendly with each other and I feel like I'm left in the dust because I have no personality. I just find it depressing and frustrating going to school everyday because I really want to make friends but I just don't have the skills to do so. The film program is relatively small so I know I'm bound to start getting "the quiet guy" label which pisses me off to no end. Sorry for the long rant. Thanks for letting me vent.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 08:32 AM Thread Starter
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I can't even get a reply on this site. I'm hopeless.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 08:39 AM
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Just try to get out and do as much as you can. The more things you do, the more you have to talk about. Try new things, like maybe a musical instrument or something else of that nature you may enjoy. This should give you plenty to talk about.
Also, there is no "skill" involved in conversation. Don't think of it like that. Just say anything to make you feel more comfortable in the social situation and after that finding things to say should come more naturally. Just don't worry as coming off as awkward, because you will soon realize that there really is no such thing.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-24-2011, 11:21 PM
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hey im the same way . dont really have any friends and i had to quit school because i couldnt talk to people. i didnt have things to say and i felt anxious. i tried sometimes like what did the professor mean by that and they would tell me and then they would like talk to someone else.
ive always had this problem tho and im so anxious. i was also in a film program. have been to two different schools since college and now i have about 30 credits left and i cant finish.
anyways i cant have anything to talk about either and i cant figure it out.
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 10-25-2011, 01:31 AM
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"I don't have anything to say" is such b.s. People talk about meaningless crap all the time. It's not that you have nothing to say, it's that you are nervous, and your worry about being labeled the quiet one puts you in brain shut-down mode.

If you need something to say, compliments or questions are always a good place to start. Asking about something you don't understand (or pretend not to understand), or complimenting someone on the work their doing will usually produce positive responses. Especially in something like film production, everything is very hands on, and should allow you some time for group work, and mingling with others.
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