I知 scared my new online friend will suddenly disappear as usual - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-08-2019, 10:23 PM Thread Starter
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I知 scared my new online friend will suddenly disappear as usual


So I was playing wow classic. I made night elf rogue (since I have always mained a horde character, I wanted to try something different). The night elf questing area BORED ME TO DEATH. So I remember from wayyy back during TBC, there was a way to get from Darnassus to Stormwind. Problem is, I will have to pass the wetlands which has crocodiles that can kill me in one hit. Along the way, I found another night elf wanting to escape the boring night elf land. She invited me to the party and lead the way. It was an awesome adventure and I met a cool person along the trip, we only died like 5 times in total, that’s what old school wow was all about.

Anywayyy, today we just talked about life. It’s like we shared every single detail. She got super real and deep with me and I sooo appreciated it. Any time I talk about my life, it’s used against me and I get called crazy/a downer/pathetic, etc. but she accepted me and I accepted her. We talked about our struggles, our troubled past, and how it’s all good now, etc. I don’t want to get into too much detail, but I felt a real, genuine connection. And now I’m scared. I’m scared I’m gonna log in and see that she’s not on my friends list anymore. I’m scared I just made her hate me like everyone always does. Like I don’t even want to log in anymore lol. My cousin doesn’t even want to play old school runescape with me anymore. It’s like damn you know? I just want to leave it on good terms before she gets tired of me, as usual.
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 05:45 PM
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 06:16 PM
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Treasure it when it happens and be okay with letting go when it ends. I've brushed shoulders with quite a few gaming buddies, one I was keeping in touch with when his wife walked out and his son was in the hospital. After that storm passed he got serious about life and stopped gaming. Do I miss him? Yes. Am I happy he is getting his **** together? Hell yes.
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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-09-2019, 09:28 PM
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Aw I can relate to you. Whenever I make a friend of any kind, I'm always afraid that they'd one day get bored with me. Sometimes we tend to overthink unnecessarily (I do all the time). I hope that she continues to build this friendship with you. Try not to let your fears and insecurities get in the way of this friendship, and enjoy it
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 02:44 AM
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This is pretty much a typical factor to consider with online friendships. Although it's also the same with real life friendships or ones you make in person as well. Suddenly they decide to stop replying to you texts/calls, and just like that... they have disappeared from your life. Unlikely to be seen again. Even if you do maybe a long time later, they will have completely no recollection of you.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 03:03 AM
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Originally Posted by MostUnwanted View Post
I just want to leave it on good terms before she gets tired of me, as usual.
It's interesting how when you learn about something it pops up all over the place. This has the ring of preemptively rejecting so you don't get rejected. Attachment stuff. Not blaming you or criticising in any way, of course, just has that vibe.

I think your efforts should be in understanding attachment (posted some stuff in another thread on it, check that out), and working on trying to build as many friendships as you can. The problem comes when you have an anxious attachment style, you place all your eggs in one basket, and tend to chase after relationships, which tends to make people push you away. The more friendships you have, the more secure you are in your relationships.

I haven't cracked this, though. But I think its what I need to do.

Enough about me, lets talk about you, what do you think about me?
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-10-2019, 09:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Blue Dino View Post
This is pretty much a typical factor to consider with online friendships. Although it's also the same with real life friendships or ones you make in person as well. Suddenly they decide to stop replying to you texts/calls, and just like that... they have disappeared from your life. Unlikely to be seen again. Even if you do maybe a long time later, they will have completely no recollection of you.
And that's what kinda makes them a bit of a a-hole. I wouldn't just do the no-reason-not-repkying-to-them-anymore sh!t. I'm just not so rude and undevoted as that.

Funny thing is I have a few of these and they're still added on Skype etc. They haven't deleted you, they're still there but they don't reply. That's weird.

And if they are doing that, then how much of a trail of potential emotional destruction or neglect are they leaving behind? Do those sort of people consciouly know that in a year or however long that they will abandon whoever before moving onto the next person?

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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 12:33 AM
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Originally Posted by KILOBRAVO View Post
And if they are doing that, then how much of a trail of potential emotional destruction or neglect are they leaving behind? Do those sort of people consciouly know that in a year or however long that they will abandon whoever before moving onto the next person?

They probably do, but they don't care. Maybe they meet enough new people on a consistent basis, or they don't value certain people aside from a temporary relationship, or they desire short term relationships and move on and on and on as a cycle. And they know they are unlikely to run into the people again so they know backlash from them is unlikely.


Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 12:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Owlbear View Post
Treasure it when it happens and be okay with letting go when it ends. I've brushed shoulders with quite a few gaming buddies, one I was keeping in touch with when his wife walked out and his son was in the hospital. After that storm passed he got serious about life and stopped gaming. Do I miss him? Yes. Am I happy he is getting his **** together? Hell yes.
I agree. I've had some really nice online friendships over the years, but I like to think that when they move on that it's for important reasons, like getting their personal life sorted out. It's hard to keep in touch with people from a distance. I can't even keep up with a couple old friends from my old job, since I've moved on from there. Life gets in the way and people come and go. It's difficult, and I still have trouble with it because it gets awfully lonely and I wonder how they are. I go through phases of feeling abandoned, but it's better to remind yourself that there's a reason for it (usually) and to enjoy it while it lasts. I think it's better to have it at all, then to continue meeting and running from people out of fear. Anxiety unfortunately adds another dimension to this kind of thing, so I know it's all easier said then done, but it helps to try and focus on the pros over the cons the best you can.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 09-11-2019, 01:44 AM
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Friends can disappear and it's not because they've moved on in life it's because they're bored of you. If they valued your friendship they would still talk to you. But like someone else said appreciate it while you have it.

There's an eternal summer inside us all.
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 06:41 PM
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Always worry about them disappearing.... ugh


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