I'm no longer a human
.....I don’t know if there is more humans like me, i noticed I’m the only one who’s having serious irrational thoughts just like a crazy man.
At the beginning, I used to fear strange people (feel like alone surrounded by strange faces, people I don’t know with weird different faces)
Lately my case became worst; I started to fear the way they walk, act, wave their hands while talking.
Even reached the point to think that people are wired on the way they created the world; the way they think, for example if someone is driving a white vehicle I would think like “these weird people chose a weird red color car…or why do their weird minds create this specific shape for cars, mugs, buildings designs, movie scenes, letters, numbers, ANYTHING my eyes come on! then I started to say I’m surrounded by weird creators with weird minds, and started to fully panic.
Is this anxiety, OCD, or some schizophrenia, or all together, I’m no longer a normal human.
I’m obsessed in irrational fearful thoughts.
I have never seen or read online some1 like my case.
Has anyone know about my case? Is there a solution? Name a CBT book to read?
My biggest fears in the future is:
1. What would be the end of this, go crazy, or lock myself in my room, or keep my eyes shut?
2. What is the evidence that I will not reach a point where ill shout in the middle of the street and howl like a wolf and sit on the ground crying?
3. If this situation kept existing until I reached my 50s or 60s, how worst it will be in this age.
I tried lots of medications which has no value
Effexor XR 225 mg, Cymbalta, anafranil 100 mg, Zoloft 100 mg, Prozac, faverin 300mg, cipralex 30 mg.
Seroquel, risperidone (this meds killed me)
I have seen 3 CBT therapist which taught me nothing, one of them is saying what is the evidence of my thoughts, second is giving me papers to solve, third is asking me to take B6 & B12
Im 36 years old, fear from people started two years back, irrational thoughts started two months back.
Please help me with everything you can, even ask your Dr about my case!