I'm no longer a human - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 12:16 AM Thread Starter
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I'm no longer a human


.....I dont know if there is more humans like me, i noticed Im the only one whos having serious irrational thoughts just like a crazy man.
At the beginning, I used to fear strange people (feel like alone surrounded by strange faces, people I dont know with weird different faces)
Lately my case became worst; I started to fear the way they walk, act, wave their hands while talking.
Even reached the point to think that people are wired on the way they created the world; the way they think, for example if someone is driving a white vehicle I would think like these weird people chose a weird red color caror why do their weird minds create this specific shape for cars, mugs, buildings designs, movie scenes, letters, numbers, ANYTHING my eyes come on! then I started to say Im surrounded by weird creators with weird minds, and started to fully panic.
Is this anxiety, OCD, or some schizophrenia, or all together, Im no longer a normal human.
Im obsessed in irrational fearful thoughts.
I have never seen or read online some1 like my case.
Has anyone know about my case? Is there a solution? Name a CBT book to read?
My biggest fears in the future is:
1. What would be the end of this, go crazy, or lock myself in my room, or keep my eyes shut?
2. What is the evidence that I will not reach a point where ill shout in the middle of the street and howl like a wolf and sit on the ground crying?
3. If this situation kept existing until I reached my 50s or 60s, how worst it will be in this age.

I tried lots of medications which has no value
Effexor XR 225 mg, Cymbalta, anafranil 100 mg, Zoloft 100 mg, Prozac, faverin 300mg, cipralex 30 mg.
Seroquel, risperidone (this meds killed me)
I have seen 3 CBT therapist which taught me nothing, one of them is saying what is the evidence of my thoughts, second is giving me papers to solve, third is asking me to take B6 & B12
Im 36 years old, fear from people started two years back, irrational thoughts started two months back.
Please help me with everything you can, even ask your Dr about my case!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 09:47 AM
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It does sound like schizophrenia. What led you to seek medication in the first place? What were your symptoms like before going on it? Are you still on meds now?

It's very bad that they haven't suggested a diagnoses despite prescribing you so many meds and undergoing therapy with 3 different therapists.

The wretched world were living in at present was not an unlucky war of fate; it was an economic and political decision made without consulting the enormous human population that it would most drastically affect. If we would have it otherwise, if wed prefer a future that we can call home, then we must stop supporting even passively this ravenous, insatiable conservative agenda before it devours us with our kids as a dessert. - Alan Moore

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 08:47 PM
Socializing with myself
 
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OP, you depend on people medications to support your brain. You're human in the shape of the observers intentions.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers governing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

NSA Software Engineers & NASA computationally remapping buildings, jobs, relationships, wealth, education, and income using bio intelligence system to manage citizens time & events. Getting away with airplane crashes, accidents, diseases, homelessness, and suicides.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 01-21-2020, 09:09 AM
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I wouldn't call it schizophrenia, unless you're having auditory or visual hallucinations. And it doesnt seem like paranoia linked with delusions. I'd say it seems your anxiety is out of control or at least very high. Are you depressed by any chance? I know depression can increase risk of paranoia like symptoms, and staying inside for an extreme amount of time can contribute to that paranoia.

Sounds like you are going through a crap ton of anxiety. And its manifesting in irrational thoughts.
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