I'm going to die alone, aren't I? - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 09:00 AM
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When people have said "try" it's always confused me, I've never understood what they meant. It's as though the way illustrates itself without explanation. To try against your enemy when your enemy is your own taughtness is fuitless, you do more damage to yourself than to him(especially without skill using a pair of nunchucks trust me). We're not talking about an external enemy here' we're talking about ourselves. To try in this case is to try against yourself, to stem your own natural tide and change it to suit what we're told a healthier course should be, is a contradiction untill others show us the direction or give us skills to follow the direction we accept on faith is the prosperous way. Are our natural tides within our reach to control directly? I think all that people do here are all they are meant to and can do to direct their unnatural tides to kinder shores. They tell you their tides are pointing in the wrong direction and untill they either change of natural course or someone helps them, I think they've done all they can.*Finishes into unicorn stance* There's a difference to me between being in the ocean with the tide getting on the shore than being on the shore without the tide getting off. to follow a path through is far easier when you have the tide with you basically and these tides do exist. One piece of advice isn't fair to apply to everyone I feel because some of us are on the shore and some of us are in the ocean.

If you don't know the way, don't feel bad basically or pressure on yourself to find the way but experiment with different thoughts and ideas, that's how I'm getting better piece by solid piece.

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post #42 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 01:17 PM
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This forum is just depressing. You re young its a bit soon to be throwing in the towel. You have no idea that you are going to die alone unless you can somehow tell the future.

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post #43 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Game 7 View Post
Do you want to be alone? Cause deep down, you probably don't, but you're doing everything you can, consciously or subconsciously, to sabotage any chance you may have.
If all you can see are your negative traits(and we all have them) how can anyone else see anything but the same thing.
I can assure you that so long as you don't like yourself, nobody else will be able to either. It all starts with the relationship you have with yourself. If that's a loving relationship, you're all set to start trying to love someone else(and allowing yourself to be loved).
I agree exactly! Thats what i was trying to say but didn't come out quite he same.

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post #44 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 01:57 PM
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By now I have accepted the fact that I will die alone.
It is my choice.
Even if it would be more soothing to imagine myself as the tragic hero on whom fate dealt a bad hand, the bitter truth is that my past, my present and my future are the result of my own actions, inactions, decisions, and indecisions.

My loneliness doesn't matter to me much anymore. I don't go on every moment lamenting the fact that I am alone. I have embraced my isolation. Of course, there is still that big gaping hole inside of me, but I feel that filling it up would take an enormous toll on me.

I know that all lonely endings are sad. So, I just close my eyes to the future.
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post #45 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 02:19 PM
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By now I have accepted the fact that I will die alone.
It is my choice.
Even if it would be more soothing to imagine myself as the tragic hero on whom fate dealt a bad hand, the bitter truth is that my past, my present and my future are the result of my own actions, inactions, decisions, and indecisions.

My loneliness doesn't matter to me much anymore. I don't go on every moment lamenting the fact that I am alone. I have embraced my isolation. Of course, there is still that big gaping hole inside of me, but I feel that filling it up would take an enormous toll on me.

I know that all lonely endings are sad. So, I just close my eyes to the future.
Dont just accept it, DO SOMETHING about it! Of course nothing will change if you've already planned out your life alone, but if you don't want it to be like that get out there and change it. You only get one chance at life you may as well try your best to make it a good one - what have you got to lose by trying???? I don't feel sorry for people who sit around and feel sorry for themselves and don't do anything about it except whinge about how they are going to end up alone. Its sad to see people just sit back and waste their life away and not try and change it for the better. Nothing worth doing is easy.

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post #46 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 02:30 PM
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yea i think imma die alone too. the most i have done with a girl is shake hands :/ it doesnt look like its improving cuz i dont have any social life whatsoever

Life is a journey thru time and happiness is what happens when we make that journey together.
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post #47 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 10:10 PM
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****!!! am here alone, no ones is here to pull you out this ****ing dog eat dog world, i know how you feel!! and there a 1000 of us out there..am good looking and i have a great personality, and like yall AM LOOKING FOR MY ANGEL, this love is gonna come again...DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE, YOU UGLY MOFO WORK OUT!!!!!!! BE SWOLE!! no one would **** with you! and you will instatnly pull *****es! come on meow!

me i play bass, and i draw, work... "SO FAR YOU ONLY MADE THINGS WORSE"~DEAD SWANS

i called my so called friends today told him if he wanted to chill, blew me off w/e

i stand alone..am not alone walking, this **** of a country...U.S.A,<3
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post #48 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 10:44 PM
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If I die alone then **** it, I'm not going to be a fake douchebag and tell someone what they want to hear in order for them to be my friend or girlfriend. That seems to be what relationships with others boils down to these days. People are selfish and only become interested in others because there's something in it for them.
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post #49 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 10:49 PM
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If I die alone then **** it, I'm not going to be a fake douchebag and tell someone what they want to hear in order for them to be my friend or girlfriend. That seems to be what relationships with others boils down to these days. People are selfish and only become interested in others because there's something in it for them.
That's a really cynical way of looking at things. It's about so much more than that... but you do have to eliminate the fake shallow people first, and there are a LOT of them.

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post #50 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 10:54 PM
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yeah i feel you, im just tired of things just staying the same year after year. im going turn twenty three next week and i dont know how i could make it another year living and feeling like this. i havent necessarily given up hope, but eventually im going to have to man up and take charge of my social life and stop expecting a miracle to happen while i sit in front of my computer for endless hours a day.
same here
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post #51 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 11:02 PM
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That's a really cynical way of looking at things. It's about so much more than that... but you do have to eliminate the fake shallow people first, and there are a LOT of them.
I've been trying to connect with people for 24 years. I've tried being friendly, sociable, and just a good person overall. Even with all of my effort there's something about me that puts people off. I can't explain it, but it seems like once people get to know me they want nothing to do with me. What hope do I have If I've tried my best up until this point?
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post #52 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 11:54 PM
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I've been trying to connect with people for 24 years. I've tried being friendly, sociable, and just a good person overall. Even with all of my effort there's something about me that puts people off. I can't explain it, but it seems like once people get to know me they want nothing to do with me. What hope do I have If I've tried my best up until this point?
I understand. It's the same way with me too sweety. There are a LOT of horrible people out there that pretend to care... to the point that they make you believe they care. They do it to make themselves feel like they are caring people. You and I both know they always end up telling you that you ask too much of them, or push you/pull themselves away somehow.
I KNOW I'm a good person. I know I'm loyal, open, honest, and really do care about people. So the only think I can think of that causes them to not like me would my my looks... but according to everyone here I'm beautiful... so I just don't know. Maybe it is my personality, maybe I really am a bad person to spite all the good things I try to do for everyone (just like you do).
Still, while a vast majority of people I've known are fake, shallow, superficial, and self-absorbed... there are truly good people out there who do stick by you through thick and thin. They really do exist. I only know one myself (so far)... but they ARE out there. There are also a lot more who come fairly close to being like that. I know a LOT of people like that who you can go to if you really needed, but I've simply drifted apart from them (as people tend to do over time). They might not be TRUE true friends, but they are not fake or shallow either.
I wish I could be a true friend to everyone here who needs one... but there just isn't enough of me to go around.

The way I see it you have two (well, three) options.
1) Keep yourself open to the idea that good people are out there, and hope you find them where you live.
2) Give into the idea that you truly are alone, and suffer until the day you die.
3) Give into the idea that you truly are alone, kill yourself and be done with it.

#2 isn't acceptable to me, and #3 scares me too much... all I have left is #1. I have to say however, I'm starting to get sick of option #1 myself... and #3 is starting to look more and more promising.

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post #53 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-23-2011, 12:58 AM
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I always think like this and i hate it, its mainly because though i don't want to put any of my issues on to anyone else especially with what happened in my last relationship which made me agoraphobic

"You can't just walk in here with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches."
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post #54 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-23-2011, 01:09 AM
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I've been abandoned by countless so called 'friends' to the point where the word has lost most of its meaning. It used to mean someone I could trust and confide in..but over time, it's become synonymous with traitor in my book.
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I always think like this and i hate it, its mainly because though i don't want to put any of my issues on to anyone else especially with what happened in my last relationship which made me agoraphobic
*hugs you both*

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post #55 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-23-2011, 06:00 AM
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we all do eventually...whether we have anybody or not.
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post #56 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-23-2011, 07:56 AM
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I've been trying to connect with people for 24 years. I've tried being friendly, sociable, and just a good person overall. Even with all of my effort there's something about me that puts people off. I can't explain it, but it seems like once people get to know me they want nothing to do with me. What hope do I have If I've tried my best up until this point?
Having met you a couple of times now I can say I don't see anything about you that automatically puts people off. I tend to think the same way though. It always seems like I'm starting off in the hole when it comes to people and so I either have to be defend my worth or work extra hard to win them over. Either way I can rarely ever relax and just be myself.
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post #57 of 133 (permalink) Old 05-09-2011, 08:45 PM
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There is no drug that works against isolation and alienation from society.
I don't know have you ever tried heroin? That's all I got to say about that.
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post #58 of 133 (permalink) Old 05-10-2011, 08:30 AM
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I don't know have you ever tried heroin? That's all I got to say about that.
Actually, I can't believe I'm saying it... but drugs are a good option. Not the illegal kind though, but prescription drugs.
I've been totally against the use of psychiatric drugs for 2 years now due to the stigma I had to deal with when I was on wellbutrine and cymbalta... but I got really desperate and decided to try one more time, and I have to say it's really helped.
I'm still just as alone and isolated from everyone as I have been, but thanks to the meds (prozac) I'm actually rather content being alone... in fact I seem to prefer it now.
Is anything in my life better? Well not really...
In fact you could argue that things have gotten worse because I've become even more withdrawn than I was before, HOWEVER I no longer feel BAD at all. I don't get depressed or want to die because I'm home on a Friday night. I don't really feel like I need other people in my life. I don't get upset or feel like I'm missing out on life.

So yeah, let's add another option to the list: medication.

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post #59 of 133 (permalink) Old 05-10-2011, 10:14 AM
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I don't know if this would inspire you but it did to me in so many ways. I knew this guy whose face got burnt off by something and he felt completely ashamed in himself and he asked his wife "Do you still love me since I have no facial appearance anymore" the wife said "I never thought you were attractive when you had a face, that's not what I married you for. You will always be beautiful inside to me so don't worry"

It's never about the looks but by your profile picture you look completely attractive in my mind, a load of people would love to have an Irish boyfriend it would be the coolest thing in the world to them! I love people who don't always have things to say and that I have to figure them out even if it's hard that's the type of people I LOVE, I don't like people who are that active I love introverts and many others do so don't worry.

24 isn't that bad to live with your mom. You have an anxiety disorder so it's easily see-able why you still do it's not that you're lazy it's that you're working out a problem and that's just a stereotype so don't worry.

You sound pretty interesting to me, I wouldn't mind being your friend myself

Please listen to our advice, there is nothing wrong with you at all you're perfectly fine and you're capable of doing anything if you try very hard and always ways of solving anxiety there's millions of ways to solve anything it's just taking the positive choices in life.
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post #60 of 133 (permalink) Old 05-10-2011, 11:01 AM
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I understand your feeling of despair. Just realize that while you claim you can't do things, you typically can. It doesn't mean your going to get exactly what you wanted, but things like getting an apartment or a girlfriend/friend really aren't as complicated as you think. Obviously, your confidence holds you back, but these things are usually harder for people typically because they want a specific kind of friend or girlfriend or apartment, etc. Getting a girlfriend your not attracted to may be easier than you think, but getting someone your attracted to may be difficult at times, and the same goes with the specifics of other things.

The beauty of life is different for people, but something I find beautiful is the journey you take. We always make decisions with what we want to do with our lives and where we want to go. You state that things will "never" happen, and this may condemn you to never taking that journey. The journey is important because you experience life, learn new things and develop as a person from these experiences. You may not ever be able to physically fly, but the things you haven't experienced yet are very obtainable. Set some goals and work towards them without abandoning them and more of them will come to fruition, especially social ones. Even better, along the way you'll learn some things that can have a positive affect for the rest of your life. Be open to change and change will happen. Just make sure your doing your part by taking action because your ultimately responsible for most of the change that occurs.
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