I've been trying to connect with people for 24 years. I've tried being friendly, sociable, and just a good person overall. Even with all of my effort there's something about me that puts people off. I can't explain it, but it seems like once people get to know me they want nothing to do with me. What hope do I have If I've tried my best up until this point?
I understand. It's the same way with me too sweety. There are a LOT of horrible people out there that pretend to care... to the point that they make you believe they care. They do it to make themselves feel like they are caring people. You and I both know they always end up telling you that you ask too much of them, or push you/pull themselves away somehow.
I KNOW I'm a good person. I know I'm loyal, open, honest, and really do care about people. So the only think I can think of that causes them to not like me would my my looks... but according to everyone here I'm beautiful... so I just don't know. Maybe it is my personality, maybe I really am a bad person to spite all the good things I try to do for everyone (just like you do).
Still, while a vast majority of people I've known are fake, shallow, superficial, and self-absorbed... there are truly good people out there who do stick by you through thick and thin. They really do exist. I only know one myself (so far)... but they ARE out there. There are also a lot more who come fairly close to being like that. I know a LOT of people like that who you can go to if you really needed, but I've simply drifted apart from them (as people tend to do over time). They might not be TRUE true friends, but they are not fake or shallow either.
I wish I could be a true friend to everyone here who needs one... but there just isn't enough of me to go around.
The way I see it you have two (well, three) options.
1) Keep yourself open to the idea that good people are out there, and hope you find them where you live.
2) Give into the idea that you truly are alone, and suffer until the day you die.
3) Give into the idea that you truly are alone, kill yourself and be done with it.
#2 isn't acceptable to me, and #3 scares me too much... all I have left is #1. I have to say however, I'm starting to get sick of option #1 myself... and #3 is starting to look more and more promising.