I'm going to die alone, aren't I? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 01:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Logic View Post
I am not physically attractive, I have no interpersonal skills and have never kissed anyone before. I will never have the ability to deal with people needed to succeed professionally and will likely never leave my mothers house because I have no friends to move in with and cant bear the idea of living by myself some place. I am going to die a sad, lonely old virgin who has never experienced any kind of close attachment to another human being.

If I could just experience even one week of being with someone I might be able to live my life at least knowing I had experience love once, but I dont even think that will happen.
I'm sending you a friendly hug;I'm too old and ugly to kiss you. I wish for you to find someone too. Keep your chin up!

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post #22 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 02:20 AM
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I was in a "relationship" before and trust me it used to be one reason that caused me so much stress those days. Going out, living up to the expectations, having to deal with his family and parents, parties, maintaining social connections of the partner etc. It's not as great as it looks to be in the movies. So don't spoil your happiness by thinking that if you had someone you would be better off. With a partner beside you, all you are doing is solving some problems and creating a brand new set of problems. Partner might not solve your problem, it might even make it worse.
Great reply I agree, why does everybody have to be in a relationship? Its so conformist, I've never had a relationship with a girl but to be honest I just can't be bothered, especially the whole dating scene **** that.
I agree with TheVoid that if you have emotional baggage you'll just bring it into a relationship you can't just expect your problems to just melt away because you've "found someone", learn to find happiness by yourself then maybe somebody out there will see it and be attracted to it.
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post #23 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 03:23 AM
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I feel the same way :/
My friends from school are already starting to "settle down", buy houses, have children etc. In my opinion they are way too young, but it still strikes me that I am the only person I know that has never even had a relationship before.

I am going to completely work on making myself happy.

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post #24 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 03:38 AM
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I'm 27 and feel mostly the same. My only saving grace is that I am apparently handsome.

It kind of hurts more hearing this though, because I feel like wasted potential. I sometimes feel that if I looked like the Elephant Man, I'd accept my hermit fate a lot easier... but I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't be the case.

But yeah, I don't live purely to find love or anything like that. If I was cured of all my problems tomorrow, there'd be a million things I'd do before actively seeking out a relationship. Just to get intimate with a women would be great though.
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post #25 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 05:04 AM
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Loneliness is a horrible feeling indeed.

It's a feeling of survival, to wanting to be apart of the herd like all the other animals. Perhaps humans feeling sad is another act of nature to insure our survival? When we're sad we do want to be left alone, but deep down we want someone there to support us, to bring us back piece by piece.

Everything time I think about this, it sort of all sounds silly. As if i'm not just another animal, that I have the power to do what 99.99999% of creatures cannot.
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post #26 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Logic View Post
I am not physically attractive, I have no interpersonal skills and have never kissed anyone before. I will never have the ability to deal with people needed to succeed professionally and will likely never leave my mothers house because I have no friends to move in with and cant bear the idea of living by myself some place. I am going to die a sad, lonely old virgin who has never experienced any kind of close attachment to another human being.

If I could just experience even one week of being with someone I might be able to live my life at least knowing I had experience love once, but I dont even think that will happen.
We all die alone bro. I don't have woman right now but it wouldn't make a difference. There isn't enough love in this world to begin with.
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post #27 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-09-2010, 12:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Logic View Post
I am not physically attractive, I have no interpersonal skills and have never kissed anyone before. I will never have the ability to deal with people needed to succeed professionally and will likely never leave my mothers house because I have no friends to move in with and cant bear the idea of living by myself some place. I am going to die a sad, lonely old virgin who has never experienced any kind of close attachment to another human being.

If I could just experience even one week of being with someone I might be able to live my life at least knowing I had experience love once, but I dont even think that will happen.
Do you want to be alone? Cause deep down, you probably don't, but you're doing everything you can, consciously or subconsciously, to sabotage any chance you may have.
If all you can see are your negative traits(and we all have them) how can anyone else see anything but the same thing.
I can assure you that so long as you don't like yourself, nobody else will be able to either. It all starts with the relationship you have with yourself. If that's a loving relationship, you're all set to start trying to love someone else(and allowing yourself to be loved).
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post #28 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 12:14 PM
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I've already resigned myself to this fate. It is what it is. I was never meant to procreate, and who am I to try and thwart destiny?

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post #29 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 12:19 PM
 
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I've already resigned myself to this fate. It is what it is. I was never meant to procreate, and who am I to try and thwart destiny?
You got it backwards.

It is what it is because you've resigned yourself to this fate. That's the destiny you chose when you gave up. If you're okay with it, that is all that matters.
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post #30 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 12:49 PM
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You got it backwards.

It is what it is because you've resigned yourself to this fate. That's the destiny you chose when you gave up. If you're okay with it, that is all that matters.
No, my "choices" are irrelevant. When I have chosen to try, with anything, I have failed every single time. What kind of human being would I be if I transmitted these genes to a new generation? Neither society nor any particular individual should have to endure tolerating my all-encompassing degree of inadequacy. If my genetics end with me, everyone will be better off.

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post #31 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 12:58 PM
 
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No, my "choices" are irrelevant. When I have chosen to try, with anything, I have failed every single time. What kind of human being would I be if I transmitted these genes to a new generation? Neither society nor any particular individual should have to endure tolerating my all-encompassing degree of inadequacy. If my genetics end with me, everyone will be better off.
That's fine. You seem determined to dislike yourself and give up, which I respect, cause that's a tough choice to make. It is a choice though.
Anytime you wanna make a different choice, you've got a pretty good community of people here who'd love to help.
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post #32 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 12:58 PM
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Well firstly, i don't get the unattractiveness comment. Even if you're "unattractive", there are other "unattractive" people. There are millions of people at every point on the "attractiveness" spectrum. I don't think being unattractive should stop you having a relationship. I mean, just look at me :P. No seriously.
I have never flatted with friends, always strangers, which is a bit weird but usually not completely depressing, unless you get sucky flattys.
I guess reaching out on here is a good step. I hope a nice girl/guy/person from Ireland reads this post and messages you .
Anyway, don't give up, clearly there are others like you out there. You're never really alone, it's just about perception. Kind of.
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post #33 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 06:25 PM
 
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No, my "choices" are irrelevant. When I have chosen to try, with anything, I have failed every single time.
If you try and fail, try try again. At least at the end of the road, when the dust settles, you can confidently grasp to the fact that you never gave up. You never stopped trying.

Sometimes it takes one failure, and sometimes it takes ten thousand. It isn't our successes which define us, but our perseverance through failure.

Stay strong, Man Is An Island. I can tell from your posts that you're a fiercely intelligent guy, and it'd be a shame to see you give up.
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post #34 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 06:29 PM
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I know how you feel, the loneliness just doesn't help anything. i'm also afraid ill end up alone.(guess just another thing to worry about) But like others have said, you can't give up, you never know what the future will bring.

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post #35 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 06:31 PM
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You'll surely die alone with the belief that you will! If I had extra hope, I'd send some your way. Holding onto mine with both fists, guarding it with my life.
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post #36 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 06:53 PM
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you will only die alone if you do not get help!
we gotta stay positive. sometimes im so sad i want to talk negative and watch sad movies. but after a while you feel really yucky.

so stay positive and at least try to be more outgoing and join a club and get out more and stuff.its never too late and people love u
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post #37 of 133 (permalink) Old 01-10-2010, 10:27 PM
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Look at your pic. How can you say that you are unattractive? Just cause you haven't kissed someone does not mean that you won't.
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post #38 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 02:04 AM
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I am too.


I've felt the same way for the past few years. I'm female, 27 years old, I still live with my parents, haven't been in a relationship, and I doubt there's anyone who can love me for me. I've been depressed/mentally ill since I was 12. I can't connect with people like I used to. I don't have much to say and can't carry on a conversation. I don't feel beautiful or attractive because no guys have ever asked me out.
When I think about my future now, I see me living with my parents until they kick me out, or until they die, or finally moving out on my own, working, but coming home to no one. I know it's hard not to think so negatively, but when you've been alone for so long, you feel like giving up on love.
So you're not the only person who fears dying alone. I really hope the both of us do find someone who can accept us and love us for who we are.
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post #39 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 06:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Logic View Post
I am not physically attractive, I have no interpersonal skills and have never kissed anyone before. I will never have the ability to deal with people needed to succeed professionally and will likely never leave my mothers house because I have no friends to move in with and cant bear the idea of living by myself some place. I am going to die a sad, lonely old virgin who has never experienced any kind of close attachment to another human being.

If I could just experience even one week of being with someone I might be able to live my life at least knowing I had experience love once, but I dont even think that will happen.
You sound just like me and im the same age as you. I know if I had a steady job id get the **** out of my parents house I hate it here. I also lack confidence and feel like im not good enough to approach a girl. When I have tried before I got rejected and I can't handle rejection. If you find a girl don't let her go man I was in one relationship and my biggest regret was leaving her. We had our own place but financially we werent making it we would live off of 59 cent cans of vegetable soup and I used to steal leftovers from KFC at the end of a shift. Make sure you are good for cash when you do decide to move out on your own or youl end up back where you left off like me. I met my ex online by the way, you ever consider trying the online thing?
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post #40 of 133 (permalink) Old 11-21-2010, 08:12 AM
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The day my parents die will be the day i die. I want to be independent. I have to be. but I'm scared to leave home. there is no place like home.
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