Iím getting old - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #21 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 04:31 PM
alien monk
 
andy1984's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Age: 36
Posts: 8,288
My Mood: Devilish
i just turned 36. there's no way i would want to go back and relive my life at age 23. there is a romanticism that i could go back and "do things better" lol but there's no way i would fall for that trap is an evil genie offers me the opportunity.

1) i am unhappy now
2) i was happier at age X
3) therefore i want to go back to that time

that works. but also

4) between that time and this time there is way more unhappiness than happiness
5) i will just end up back at this time, with this unhappiness
6) therefore i do not want to go back to relive that (and then this all over again)

but that's completely off topic since its just about not achieving goals. tao te ching has been a great guide for me and i have very few goals and it doesn't really matter if i achieve them. but that's of no comfort if you were comforted by success stories. since my success story is that i started out with a lot of goals, failed over and over, gave up, and then learned how to be mostly ok with it. but hm i get the sense that some people go through life focused on what they can get, and they get some of what they want, and focusing helps with that. while others are generally denied what they want, and focusing on that is a bad idea. its a different paradigm. as different as hedonism and Buddhism. not that i would advocate Buddhism, its just more well known that taoism. maybe there is some level of healthy compartmentalization, see some things one way and see other things the other way.

I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples. ― Mother Teresa
andy1984 is online now  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #22 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 04:34 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,443
From what I remember of my 20's it's sort of just for having fun and mostly mucking around. (of course that could apply to a fair bit of the rest of my life as well but that's beside the point)

Have a bit of fun OP - you've got plenty of time to get serious later on.
harrison is offline  
post #23 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 05:26 PM
SAS Member
 
aqwsderf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 2,312
Quote:
Originally Posted by harrison View Post
From what I remember of my 20's it's sort of just for having fun and mostly mucking around. (of course that could apply to a fair bit of the rest of my life as well but that's beside the point)

Have a bit of fun OP - you've got plenty of time to get serious later on.
I need to have more fun. My 20s are too dull lol
aqwsderf is offline  
 
post #24 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 05:30 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 16,443
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
I need to have more fun. My 20s are too dull lol
You know what I think I should start doing? I should apologise and say don't pay any attention at the start of every post I make.

I was sort of kidding - but at the same time I'm glad my son is more serious than I was, or have ever been. He's had fun but also plans things a bit. (like his superannuation etc)

I was absolutely hopeless. (had quite a bit of fun though)
harrison is offline  
post #25 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-14-2020, 06:05 PM
Moderator
 
CNikki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: USA
Language: American English, some Spanish
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,593
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
I need to have more fun. My 20s are too dull lol
Not to give away my age...but same...

Have to 'enjoy it while it lasts' in the midst of all the issues I have somehow.
CNikki is offline  
post #26 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-15-2020, 08:57 AM
SAS Member
 
chrisinmd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Maryland
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,460
My Mood: Worried
Quote:
Originally Posted by aqwsderf View Post
I need to have more fun. My 20s are too dull lol
What do you think you are missing out on in your 20's? What do you want to do to have more fun?
chrisinmd is offline  
post #27 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-15-2020, 01:28 PM
Narcissistic Rageaholic
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 10,186
My Mood: Brooding
I am old, but I still think, feel, and act like a teenager, for the most part. I haven't gotten to the point yet where I actually start to feel old. This is probably bad in some way.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
truant is offline  
post #28 of 39 (permalink) Old 09-15-2020, 02:39 PM
A Person
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Essex, UK
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,919
My Mood: Worried
i started feeling old at 15. I'm 28 now. theres no getting away from the feeling you're getting old.you just need to pursue what you want to do as soon as. if you dont know what you wanna do then just roll with it.


Cool Ice Dude55 is online now  
post #29 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-02-2020, 09:10 PM
SAS Member
 
2Milk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Searching...
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Posts: 5,599
My Mood: Bored
I feel you OP. I just turned 24 a couple of months ago. I joined this forum when I was just a baby (1 and I haven't made much improvement.

I've dropped out of college, have a dead end job, and I'm broke. Sometimes I look up some of my classmates from highschool and they graduated from good Universities and probably have good jobs.

I have nightmares about being old at least once a month.
2Milk is offline  
post #30 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-06-2020, 07:13 PM
Push forward conqueror!
 
Resergence's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Language: English
Age: 27
Posts: 561
Im 27 and im old I dont know what you on about..
Resergence is offline  
post #31 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-06-2020, 07:26 PM
.
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Nightmares.
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,761
My Mood: Devilish
Yeah I know how you feel, 23 is the twilight years, I already died, turned into a ghost, don't do what I did 😞






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is online now  
post #32 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-09-2020, 08:37 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 789
Quote:
Originally Posted by andy1984 View Post
i just turned 36. there's no way i would want to go back and relive my life at age 23. there is a romanticism that i could go back and "do things better" lol but there's no way i would fall for that trap is an evil genie offers me the opportunity.
The quote, "I wish I was 20 again" is dumb and idiotic. The only reason I guess someone would say that is if they didn't have as much fun or fulfilling a life as they wanted to, and are now old and bitter about it. It is possible they are also just saying they were happy at age 20 and now aren't. Either way it is BS because even the happiest people at age 20 have to go to bed at night and face the music about life sucking on some level, despite how great they have it.

I just think as you get older you get more jaded and bored and blah or depressed or cynical about everything. On some level, you want more time on the planet, I GUESS, but as you get older you get more tired of everything, exhausted, run down, and your body starts to break down. Great i need a hip replacement or a new kidney or whatever. I think if you catch an older person on a good day, they might sincerely say they wish they were 20 again, but being young is not some magic recipe for happiness. I think it really comes down to having another shot to do everything you wanted to do, in your youth. When you hit say your early to mid 30's i think everyone's energy goes down, or at the very least you need more recovery time from alcohol or running around.

If I could go back I guess I would have forced myself to go out more and sleep with random women, often who weren't that attractive necessarily, so that at least I felt part of the loop on some level. That really wasn't what I wanted, I was trying to find someone of more value than that. Then I projected that I wanted something very specific or was an emotional wreck, which could not turn women off more. You just can't be clingy.

On some level, if you can not achieve anything and be OK with that at the end of the day, God bless because that is tough. Me personally I achieved some great things in the past with women, work, and going to games and concerts and events as fun, and to be honest I still mostly felt like a loser or didn't care much about the things that most people would say "wow" I think you should have realistic goals and something to keep your mind active. One thing about workaholics who work 50 or more hours a week, they literally have no freaking time to worry about how much their life sucks, every minute they are worried about the next deadline. It is good and bad, you run yourself down and have no fun, but you have no time to let negative and suicidal thoughts to enter your mind. It really is true that an idle mind is the devil's playground
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #33 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 07:45 PM
Locked and Loaded
 
Excaliber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Canada
Gender: Male
Age: 27
Posts: 2,350
My Mood: Doh
Ugh... its something that has bothered me greatly for a while now and is making me panicky, I'm 26 but feel like a teen. I still haven't figured out with certainty what I want to do in life, I'm starting to think that I'm one of those people who will never have that answer. At least I'm trying to have fun along the way.
Excaliber is offline  
post #34 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-17-2020, 08:00 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Location: North America
Gender: Male
Posts: 23
My Mood: Dead
I wouldn't be too worried if you're only 23. Sure, you're moving out of the teen/young adult zone but you will still be more or less a young adult for a decade, especially in our modern times. I first came on this forum many years ago in my 20s, now i''m way older. Things can still be resolved will you're in your 20s. You may have had a bad start in life but it can still be reversed. For me I made extremely small steps forward but now I know nothing more will happen for me. At 23 that is still far from confirmed imho.
Queneluvr is offline  
post #35 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-21-2020, 07:57 AM
SAS Member
 
jtd1974's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Australia
Gender: Male
Age: 46
Posts: 539
My Mood: Sad
I'm 46 lol. I haven't done much with my life in material/career terms. SA makes it hard, as you no doubt know.

I work in an unskilled, low-paid job.

But I have a family with two great kids.

If you're struggling and feeling hopeless, I'd advise doing something about it.

It's only in the past few years that I've gotten on top of my SA, with the help of Nardil/phenelzine. Maybe you've heard of it. A few folks round here have done well on it.

I spent years trying different medications without success, struggling with my anxiety and feeling depressed.

Looking back, my SA ruined those years. But I did the best I could with what I had.

It doesn't have to be medication ... counselling, therapy or group work could help you.

But I wouldn't leave it to chance. Social anxiety doesn't usually improve on its own, unfortunately.

You have the time to explore options to find what works for you. Reach out for help. You can't do it in your own. But don't give up.

Good luck!!
jtd1974 is offline  
post #36 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 03:30 PM
SAS Member
 
Fixxer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Language: French/English
Gender: Male
Posts: 568
I kind of feel the same way, but don't get discouraged. We got to move forward with life no matter what goes through.
Fixxer is offline  
post #37 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:11 PM
SAS Member
 
VIncymon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,149
Have you ever read "the subtle art of not giving a ......"
Its a very strange type of motivational book but its oddly comforting.

I know there's community guidelines about promoting stuff so I won't post any links. But Im going through a very stressful time and it's helping me.

When is a Door not a door ?
VIncymon is offline  
post #38 of 39 (permalink) Old 11-22-2020, 04:48 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2020
Location: N. Ireland
Gender: Male
Age: 37
Posts: 3
I'm 37 and only now have the courage to try to make a change.
You do things when your ready, has nothing to do with age.
agkellz is offline  
post #39 of 39 (permalink) Old 12-04-2020, 11:02 AM
need more than affidavits
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,255
Most physically feel and look young throughout their 20's and to a less degree in their 30's , but it varies where real physical aging often starts in the 30's where one can already feel much less energy lasting through the day, and then the real degradation starts to pick up approaching 40 and after, with the aging physical challenges of being much harder to lose weight, aged spots and wrinkles, always feeling aching and worn every day waking up, white hairs, thinning or worse, balding for some, a slower bogged mind, worsening focus on eyesight, etc.
I wouldn't mind being 23 again either, having the energy and vitality of those youthful physical and fresher mind years, and possible societal opportunities again. ( if it was a time travel back, I would have my mind wiped of outside societal events and news, and just remember vague feelings or specific memories of bad mistakes to change)
railcar82594 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome