i just turned 36. there's no way i would want to go back and relive my life at age 23. there is a romanticism that i could go back and "do things better" lol but there's no way i would fall for that trap is an evil genie offers me the opportunity.

1) i am unhappy now
2) i was happier at age X
3) therefore i want to go back to that time

that works. but also

4) between that time and this time there is way more unhappiness than happiness
5) i will just end up back at this time, with this unhappiness
6) therefore i do not want to go back to relive that (and then this all over again)

but that's completely off topic since its just about not achieving goals. tao te ching has been a great guide for me and i have very few goals and it doesn't really matter if i achieve them. but that's of no comfort if you were comforted by success stories. since my success story is that i started out with a lot of goals, failed over and over, gave up, and then learned how to be mostly ok with it. but hm i get the sense that some people go through life focused on what they can get, and they get some of what they want, and focusing helps with that. while others are generally denied what they want, and focusing on that is a bad idea. its a different paradigm. as different as hedonism and Buddhism. not that i would advocate Buddhism, its just more well known that taoism. maybe there is some level of healthy compartmentalization, see some things one way and see other things the other way.

From what I remember of my 20's it's sort of just for having fun and mostly mucking around. (of course that could apply to a fair bit of the rest of my life as well but that's beside the point)

Have a bit of fun OP - you've got plenty of time to get serious later on.

I need to have more fun. My 20s are too dull lol

You know what I think I should start doing? I should apologise and say don't pay any attention at the start of every post I make.

I was sort of kidding - but at the same time I'm glad my son is more serious than I was, or have ever been. He's had fun but also plans things a bit. (like his superannuation etc)

I was absolutely hopeless. (had quite a bit of fun though)

Not to give away my age...but same...

Have to 'enjoy it while it lasts' in the midst of all the issues I have somehow.

What do you think you are missing out on in your 20's? What do you want to do to have more fun?

I am old, but I still think, feel, and act like a teenager, for the most part. I haven't gotten to the point yet where I actually start to feel old. This is probably bad in some way.

i started feeling old at 15. I'm 28 now. theres no getting away from the feeling you're getting old.you just need to pursue what you want to do as soon as. if you dont know what you wanna do then just roll with it.

I feel you OP. I just turned 24 a couple of months ago. I joined this forum when I was just a baby (1 and I haven't made much improvement.

I've dropped out of college, have a dead end job, and I'm broke. Sometimes I look up some of my classmates from highschool and they graduated from good Universities and probably have good jobs.

I have nightmares about being old at least once a month.

Im 27 and im old I dont know what you on about..

Yeah I know how you feel, 23 is the twilight years, I already died, turned into a ghost, don't do what I did 😞

The quote, "I wish I was 20 again" is dumb and idiotic. The only reason I guess someone would say that is if they didn't have as much fun or fulfilling a life as they wanted to, and are now old and bitter about it. It is possible they are also just saying they were happy at age 20 and now aren't. Either way it is BS because even the happiest people at age 20 have to go to bed at night and face the music about life sucking on some level, despite how great they have it.

I just think as you get older you get more jaded and bored and blah or depressed or cynical about everything. On some level, you want more time on the planet, I GUESS, but as you get older you get more tired of everything, exhausted, run down, and your body starts to break down. Great i need a hip replacement or a new kidney or whatever. I think if you catch an older person on a good day, they might sincerely say they wish they were 20 again, but being young is not some magic recipe for happiness. I think it really comes down to having another shot to do everything you wanted to do, in your youth. When you hit say your early to mid 30's i think everyone's energy goes down, or at the very least you need more recovery time from alcohol or running around.

If I could go back I guess I would have forced myself to go out more and sleep with random women, often who weren't that attractive necessarily, so that at least I felt part of the loop on some level. That really wasn't what I wanted, I was trying to find someone of more value than that. Then I projected that I wanted something very specific or was an emotional wreck, which could not turn women off more. You just can't be clingy.

On some level, if you can not achieve anything and be OK with that at the end of the day, God bless because that is tough. Me personally I achieved some great things in the past with women, work, and going to games and concerts and events as fun, and to be honest I still mostly felt like a loser or didn't care much about the things that most people would say "wow" I think you should have realistic goals and something to keep your mind active. One thing about workaholics who work 50 or more hours a week, they literally have no freaking time to worry about how much their life sucks, every minute they are worried about the next deadline. It is good and bad, you run yourself down and have no fun, but you have no time to let negative and suicidal thoughts to enter your mind. It really is true that an idle mind is the devil's playground

Ugh... its something that has bothered me greatly for a while now and is making me panicky, I'm 26 but feel like a teen. I still haven't figured out with certainty what I want to do in life, I'm starting to think that I'm one of those people who will never have that answer. At least I'm trying to have fun along the way.

I wouldn't be too worried if you're only 23. Sure, you're moving out of the teen/young adult zone but you will still be more or less a young adult for a decade, especially in our modern times. I first came on this forum many years ago in my 20s, now i''m way older. Things can still be resolved will you're in your 20s. You may have had a bad start in life but it can still be reversed. For me I made extremely small steps forward but now I know nothing more will happen for me. At 23 that is still far from confirmed imho.

I'm 46 lol. I haven't done much with my life in material/career terms. SA makes it hard, as you no doubt know.

I work in an unskilled, low-paid job.

But I have a family with two great kids.

If you're struggling and feeling hopeless, I'd advise doing something about it.

It's only in the past few years that I've gotten on top of my SA, with the help of Nardil/phenelzine. Maybe you've heard of it. A few folks round here have done well on it.

I spent years trying different medications without success, struggling with my anxiety and feeling depressed.

Looking back, my SA ruined those years. But I did the best I could with what I had.

It doesn't have to be medication ... counselling, therapy or group work could help you.

But I wouldn't leave it to chance. Social anxiety doesn't usually improve on its own, unfortunately.

You have the time to explore options to find what works for you. Reach out for help. You can't do it in your own. But don't give up.

Good luck!!

I kind of feel the same way, but don't get discouraged. We got to move forward with life no matter what goes through.

Have you ever read "the subtle art of not giving a ......"
Its a very strange type of motivational book but its oddly comforting.

I know there's community guidelines about promoting stuff so I won't post any links. But Im going through a very stressful time and it's helping me.

I'm 37 and only now have the courage to try to make a change.
You do things when your ready, has nothing to do with age.

Most physically feel and look young throughout their 20's and to a less degree in their 30's , but it varies where real physical aging often starts in the 30's where one can already feel much less energy lasting through the day, and then the real degradation starts to pick up approaching 40 and after, with the aging physical challenges of being much harder to lose weight, aged spots and wrinkles, always feeling aching and worn every day waking up, white hairs, thinning or worse, balding for some, a slower bogged mind, worsening focus on eyesight, etc.
I wouldn't mind being 23 again either, having the energy and vitality of those youthful physical and fresher mind years, and possible societal opportunities again. ( if it was a time travel back, I would have my mind wiped of outside societal events and news, and just remember vague feelings or specific memories of bad mistakes to change)