I'm a failure at life. - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 04:20 PM
Merry Effing Christmas
 
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Yeah, I'm a failure in pretty much every category. What are ya gonna do? If people believe you can 'win' or 'fail' as a person, then lots of people are going to be failures pretty much by definition. That's just how statistics and bell curves work. I don't see myself as a failure, but that's how basically everyone else sees me. The whole idea of succeeding and failing can go **** itself.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #22 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-05-2019, 08:17 AM
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I hate that nearly all of us have unhappy disatisfying lives... I wish we could all be happy and have something worthwhile instead of waiting to die.. I fking hate that society reduces people for fun because of standards of living/success/blahblahblah

I don't wanna exist
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post #23 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 09:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deaf Mute View Post
I hate that nearly all of us have unhappy disatisfying lives... I wish we could all be happy and have something worthwhile instead of waiting to die.. I fking hate that society reduces people for fun because of standards of living/success/blahblahblah

Yes its a very cruel world out there and people are very mean and cruel to others to make themselves look good and feel better about themselves. I guess its human nature. At least a lot of the really mean and cruel stuff stops when you get out of school and get a bit older. People are not at least as cruel for the most part as they were in high school
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post #24 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 03:26 PM
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23 is a bit early to be calling it, no? Wait till you get to my ag..... never mind.
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post #25 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 03:49 PM
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If everything is pointless then you can't fail, you can't win either, so why worry about either.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #26 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-06-2019, 11:59 PM
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I wouldn't say I'm a complete failure - that would be silly. I've got a family and have had a lot of life experiences. (some I definitely could have done without) But when it comes to a career I've been hopeless - that's pretty obvious. I was successful at Uni but I had things together a lot more back then. I'm just not very good at earning money - or keeping it when I get some. I go off on some stupid trip and spend it all and come home with junk I don't even remember buying.
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post #27 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-07-2019, 12:45 AM
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Same. I just get high and enjoy my mind instead.
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post #28 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-07-2019, 07:07 AM
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Originally Posted by 2Milk View Post
I just turned 23 and have done nothing with my life. I often wake up in the middle of the night and think of all the time and money I have wasted. I tried going to college but I have dropped out several times. I always get depressed at school and feel like doing assignments is a pointless. I feel like everything is pointless.

I don't have any friends. My social anxiety has improved a lot over the past year, but my social skills haven't. I can't connect with people, I'm not confident and I don't feel happy most of the time. I feel like my social anxiety has stunted my social skills and they won't ever recover.

I spend a lot of time in my mind. My biggest problem right now is that lack of meaning in my life. My only reason for getting up in the morning is to go to work so I can pay my rent and other bills.

A lot of people I went to high school with have degrees now and well paying jobs. I have accomplished nothing. I really wish I could finish school but I always drop out because I feel so lonely and isolated at school.

I wish I could make friends but it's so hard for me to open up because honestly I don't have much going on in my life. Im really tired of living.

I did university 3 times. The first time I dropped out after 1 year. I don't know what happened but I was ill with depression and failing everything. Things got so bad I stole peoples lab books from their lockers a couple of times just so I could understand / copy their answers. I remember sitting in the large lecture theatre during a tutorial and the tutors started walking around to check how everyone was getting on. I couldn't answer anything because I didn't study, so I got up and walked out before they saw me and checked my work. I was a mess. Went back to university at 24 for a different degree (physics). Graduated second or third in my year group and published work in a journal. Stellar grades but I still didn't make any friends or girlfriends (just a few aquaintancies). In the second and third year I rarely went in. My dad would drop me off once or twice a week when I had to do my project work in the lab. Then I would walk home. It was pretty pathetic. Despite doing so well I didn't get anywhere in the jobs market because of my anxiety and lack of experience. Went to a different university for a masters this time in nuclear. Got distinctions and boarderline distincitons in all of the modules. Here I am again unemployed. I would only ever go back to university if I was guaranteed a job and people would help me get one.
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post #29 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 05:10 AM
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A degree is something I've always wanted. I've never cared about getting a job after school, I just wanted that degree with my name on it.

I can easily live of $40k a year, and finding a job that pays $40k/year isn't something that seems out of reach to me. If it is out of reach I can just get a second part time job and reach $40k.



Without a college degree I feel like I have not lived to my full potential. I feel like a failure. I've always liked school. When I'm in school I feel great for the first 2 weeks of the semester. Eventually, I feel lonelier and lonelier, I start to skip classes, I stop going to the library to study, I just isolate myself in my apartment, then I drop out.



If I had someone who I could talk to regularly I feel like I could make it, but I can never connect with anyone. I've never made a friend in college.


Thatís just a fast way to end up in debt. I know quite a few people that got useless degrees that regret going down that path.
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post #30 of 32 (permalink) Old 11-14-2019, 11:47 AM
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I have been dropping in and out of college since 2015.first time it was computer engineering,then physics and now computer science. I feel isolated and I skip class and even now its the same,if I dropout this time I wont be coming back,am on my last chance permitted before I start bumping out my own money.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - -- -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - -- - - -- - -- - -- - - -- -- - -- - --
I really have bad days I feel like am alone but it was once worse. I think am making progress and finding my smile back.
What am currently on:
Best Anxiety Program
The link is audios,videos and by that Irish guy Barry McDonagh(one of my favorite Social Anxiety authors ). Sharing is caring.
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post #31 of 32 (permalink) Old Yesterday, 11:26 AM
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I totally understand brother. I feel the same way. It sounds like you need motivation. But the thing about motivation is that it doesn't last very long. As you said, everything feels lifeless and boring.

I think the reason why you like gaming is because it offers you quick bite sized gratification and a sense of accomplishment. It comes quickly (not in a delayed manner). Perhaps you can try and aim to get this out of life itself. Try and set small bite sized goals for yourself at first. Or even if you are aiming for something big, divide that up into smaller parts instead of looking at it like its some big thing. That way you'll get gratification quickly as you finish each task. That in turn will motivate you for future goals. It's all about keeping a rhythm and staying sharp.
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post #32 of 32 (permalink) Old Today, 04:52 PM
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2Milk, I think some of us remember your story. You were working at McD's than later successfully moved up to working at Amazon distribution and you even got through social anxiety to keep working consistently when many others afflicted have not done so well. You even got a gf if I recall. I thought things were doing well for you. Yes, I do remember when you tried going to community college when you were at Mc'Ds. (time sure does fly). And I remember I commented encouraging you get back to community college. But overall, you've done very good compared to many others who were afflicted with SA or even discriminated against by normies or such for whatever reasons..

Now I get it you want to get a better paying job and a degree with education in something more advanced than high school level. Here's what I suggest. Get back in community college. But learn to be tenacious and keep up with the classes. Yes, a lot of these classes the first year or so are stupid general ed, often politically motivated classes that make many bored and want to drop out. So you need to "grind" through it just like a boring video game , or better your work ethic. There are just 14-16 weeks per class so just take it a week(s) at a time but doing your best to stay on track. So what if you feel older now in college. Let's say you think you will finish a four year in 3 or 4 more years. Well, even if you didn't finish college, in 3 or 4 years you're going to be the same age as if you did anyways. If you feel alone don't worry about it. Eventually you can do assignments maybe with other students after class who are decent. There is a whole bunch of resources of the web to help with classes. Reddit (www.reddit.com) has so many subrredits on classes and courses, you can even get advice and comments from others , even professionals. Here's a few examples: /r/cscareerquestions. You could also do a trade IT path. Many get started from here: /r/ccna for cisco backbone harware tech, without necessarily having to go to college. Even other fields that have been suggested such as mechanic, electrician, electronics tech, even medical coding, or accounting related. It will take grindwork (consider it like boot-periods everyone has to go through, sure, wasting a semester or two, but again, everyone has to go through it. There's also the "Dream Act" funding for community college which can help a lot with tuition so you don't have to get into debt for cc) , but once you get past those stupid GE classes, you get into subject classes and then you'll get more interested,engaged/motivated and it may even get fun to learn about the subjects, and then you won't be as surrounded by students who are not in the same major or interest like in the ge classes. We're sure you can do it 2Milk, best of luck.
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