I'm a failure at life. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 30 (permalink) Old 10-31-2019, 08:57 PM Thread Starter
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I'm a failure at life.


I just turned 23 and have done nothing with my life. I often wake up in the middle of the night and think of all the time and money I have wasted. I tried going to college but I have dropped out several times. I always get depressed at school and feel like doing assignments is a pointless. I feel like everything is pointless.

I don't have any friends. My social anxiety has improved a lot over the past year, but my social skills haven't. I can't connect with people, I'm not confident and I don't feel happy most of the time. I feel like my social anxiety has stunted my social skills and they won't ever recover.

I spend a lot of time in my mind. My biggest problem right now is that lack of meaning in my life. My only reason for getting up in the morning is to go to work so I can pay my rent and other bills.

A lot of people I went to high school with have degrees now and well paying jobs. I have accomplished nothing. I really wish I could finish school but I always drop out because I feel so lonely and isolated at school.

I wish I could make friends but it's so hard for me to open up because honestly I don't have much going on in my life. Im really tired of living.
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post #2 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-01-2019, 07:22 PM
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I know I don't fit in with humanity, because my mind isn't fake like the rest of the autoset citizens who use an unhealthy language. Rather than a failure, I'm subconsciously incompatible to the management program. I never existed before in human mentality. The software engineers remove my opportunities socially, from receiving job, income, relationship and rented stable roof to concentrate over my head through citizens mentally.

Multi-Agent Quantum AI Computers managing humanity 24/7 using Quantum Cryptography Satellites to run a thought interval to generate cryptographic keys to refresh key information into thoughts to channel the communication 24/7.

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post #3 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-01-2019, 08:35 PM
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Can Relate


I graduated from university not too long ago but I'm pretty much in the same boat (kind of).

Even though my attitude has improved, my confidence has remained the same. My anxiety has left me a disposition where I do not understand relationships. I cannot connect easily with others.

Small talk is still really, really hard. I don't like sharing too much of myself with others. I still have no friends. I still have no romantic partner.

Life just continues this way while I try to get something out of this rat race.

May your future be brighter than mine.

Though I have always made it my practice to be pleasant to everybody, I have not once actually experienced friendship. I have only the most painful recollections of my various acquaintances ..."
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post #4 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-01-2019, 10:07 PM
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Is there any career that doesn't require a college education that interests you? I kind of doubt that all your high school classmates have well paying jobs now at age 23. People usually only advertise publicly about things going well in their life. When it all goes to hell they don't post on Facebook much. My sister is like that.
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post #5 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 01:36 AM
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You're still young. I know people who are very successful now in their late 30s who only began their careers at 30. Perhaps you haven't yet found a field you are passionate about - Is there anything that interests you or gets you excited?

I think the fact that you're working and paying rent/bills already, despite what seems to be depression, puts you in the "most definitely not a loser" category. It's very responsible and shows work ethic.
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post #6 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 03:50 AM
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Talking

precious glorious glee


forgetting, remembering the power of happiness
using a car scientifically
ongoing satisfaction, success, ready for any failure / challenge...

behind any digger/dumper plant machinery / learner driver.

my goal is never about just speed at all. speed of thought, awareness

not much a gambler but am, a risk taker. how believe the machine keeps going?

every time i do.... the fruit is ripe.

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post #7 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 08:46 PM
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I'm 45 and still haven't achieved much in life, when judged by society's standards.

Yeah, it bothers me somewhat, but then I think to myself, "you know what, f*** it, and f*** them".

I have a bad job, but I've never been into study, so that's my lot.

Materialism doesn't interest me. A big house with a swimming pool and an expensive car wouldn't make me happy.

However, I have a family and I try find meaning in my life by doing what I enjoy, when I can.

Do you have any passions or hobbies? Are you creative, or into sport? Do you like technology?

It helps a lot if you can find something you truly enjoy, something that makes you forget yourself and your worries and makes you feel good.
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post #8 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 10:19 PM
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the main thing is that you don't have to win the "game" to have a good time.

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post #9 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 11:05 PM
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I'm not a failure at life (I'm alive at 46). I'm a failure at life in the future.

/WYSD
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post #10 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 11:21 PM
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the main thing is that you don't have to win the "game" to have a good time.
Love that saying. Very true you don't have to "win" the game of life to have fun.
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post #11 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-02-2019, 11:31 PM
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I just turned 23 and have done nothing with my life. I often wake up in the middle of the night and think of all the time and money I have wasted. I tried going to college but I have dropped out several times. I always get depressed at school and feel like doing assignments is a pointless. I feel like everything is pointless.

I don't have any friends. My social anxiety has improved a lot over the past year, but my social skills haven't. I can't connect with people, I'm not confident and I don't feel happy most of the time. I feel like my social anxiety has stunted my social skills and they won't ever recover.

I spend a lot of time in my mind. My biggest problem right now is that lack of meaning in my life. My only reason for getting up in the morning is to go to work so I can pay my rent and other bills.

A lot of people I went to high school with have degrees now and well paying jobs. I have accomplished nothing. I really wish I could finish school but I always drop out because I feel so lonely and isolated at school.

I wish I could make friends but it's so hard for me to open up because honestly I don't have much going on in my life. Im really tired of living.
Well my life was pretty horrible at 23. Im 42 now and it certainly isn't perfect but its a hell of a lot better then it was at 23. So your still very young and got time and the opportunity to improve things. At least you got a job and that is a lot more then a lot of people.

My advice would be to write down some daily and long term goals. If its not on paper its a dream not a plan. What type of work do you want to do? Do some research and figure out what steps you need to do to get from where you are to your goal.

Socially just try to improve a bit everyday. Get out and say hi to 5 people or start conversations with random people. What ever goal help you improve a bit socially everyday. That will help build confidence. Meetup group are a great way I have found to meet good people with common interests who could become friends.

None of this is easy but good luck you can do it
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post #12 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 03:03 AM
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Hey

It's a hard place to be in - feeling like you've 'failed' and have no purpose. For the first one, conventionally you may have failed (success here meaning getting a degree and going straight into a graduate role), but that doesn't have to mean that you've failed for life. It means that you're not where you want to be now, but it doesn't have to mean that you won't be where you want to be in 5, 10 years time. You still have plenty of time on your side

The second one - have no purpose - is a little harder. Whereas there is a 'conventional way' for getting a job, there are CV/interview workshops, online job postings etc, there isn't really much out there for having a purpose, because it's something that is very personal. Your journey through life, people you've met, things you've seen and experienced - these are things can affect and drive your purpose. Some people advocate that spending some time with people less fortunate (e.g. visiting an informal settlement in a poorer rural area) can provide some perspective; others say that it took a shock (e.g. losing a loved one) to unearth their purpose; others yet say that you don't need to do any of that, and that meditating on what you find important in your life (e.g. health, family) is the best way to find out what you can do to help others achieve that. There are many ways you can go about it, but I found that once you have an idea on what you find important, find a way that you can support those efforts.

For example, if you find that mental health is what you want to base your life purpose on, then you'd find ways to support mental health charities. Becoming an activist for mental health campaigns, volunteering some spare time to working with people with mental health issues, engaging with events on mental health, donating some of your salary to these causes. Some people find that the work itself gives them purpose; others are more goal-oriented and find pleasure when they hit measureable goals (e.g. every X helps X number of people, campaigning for a law change that ends up succeeding). Find what works for you in that way as well.

Even after all this, a part of you may feel that you're a failure, that 23 years is too much time wasted. But all those people you help certainly won't. They won't be annoyed at you taking 23 years to decide on what to do - they'll be grateful that you spent the rest of your time helping people like them. 23 years feels like a lot of time gone, but don't let that ruin the next 60 years you still have to go!x

Much love <3

<3
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post #13 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 05:24 PM
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post #14 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 07:12 PM
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College isn't for everybody. Check out some tech schools. There several jobs in the medical field that pay decent without a need for a degree. Medical coding, dental tech, radiology tech, med tech come to mind.

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post #15 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 09:48 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by komorikun View Post
Is there any career that doesn't require a college education that interests you? I kind of doubt that all your high school classmates have well paying jobs now at age 23. People usually only advertise publicly about things going well in their life. When it all goes to hell they don't post on Facebook much. My sister is like that.
Is there any career that doesn't require a college education that interests you?
Not really, most careers seem boring and lifeless. The only thing they provide is money. I don't have much interest in anything but I think that's because I'm depressed. I've felt this way even before joining this forum, and look where it has lead me, nowhere.
I have brief periods in my life where I actually feel happy and feel like can do anything, but they usually don't last.

I kind of doubt that all your high school classmates have well paying jobs
The smarts ones probably do. They are the only ones I really cared about in high school.
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post #16 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 09:58 PM Thread Starter
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I'm 45 and still haven't achieved much in life, when judged by society's standards.

Yeah, it bothers me somewhat, but then I think to myself, "you know what, f*** it, and f*** them".

I have a bad job, but I've never been into study, so that's my lot.

Materialism doesn't interest me. A big house with a swimming pool and an expensive car wouldn't make me happy.

However, I have a family and I try find meaning in my life by doing what I enjoy, when I can.

Do you have any passions or hobbies? Are you creative, or into sport? Do you like technology?

It helps a lot if you can find something you truly enjoy, something that makes you forget yourself and your worries and makes you feel good.
Honestly, I feel like I don't have any specific interest. Most days just feel like a huge drag. When I was still in high school I was really into computers, engineering, and nerdy stuff like that. I was planning on getting a CS degree and being a network engineer. Now those topics just seem so lifeless and boring.

On the bright side I recently got gaming laptop and have been gaming for hours on end, and have actually felt joy and eagerness to get home and play. Over the past 4 years I've probably gamed less than 15 hours, just because it had become so boring and pointless to me, but over the past week I've been racking up hours.
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post #17 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-03-2019, 10:11 PM Thread Starter
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College isn't for everybody. Check out some tech schools. There several jobs in the medical field that pay decent without a need for a degree. Medical coding, dental tech, radiology tech, med tech come to mind.
A degree is something I've always wanted. I've never cared about getting a job after school, I just wanted that degree with my name on it.
I can easily live of $40k a year, and finding a job that pays $40k/year isn't something that seems out of reach to me. If it is out of reach I can just get a second part time job and reach $40k.

Without a college degree I feel like I have not lived to my full potential. I feel like a failure. I've always liked school. When I'm in school I feel great for the first 2 weeks of the semester. Eventually, I feel lonelier and lonelier, I start to skip classes, I stop going to the library to study, I just isolate myself in my apartment, then I drop out.

If I had someone who I could talk to regularly I feel like I could make it, but I can never connect with anyone. I've never made a friend in college.
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post #18 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 07:14 AM
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College isn't for everybody. Check out some tech schools. There several jobs in the medical field that pay decent without a need for a degree. Medical coding, dental tech, radiology tech, med tech come to mind.
Agreed. Id also throw in lpn. Its only a year and you can make 20 an hour.

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post #19 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 07:33 AM
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College isn't for everybody. Check out some tech schools. There several jobs in the medical field that pay decent without a need for a degree. Medical coding, dental tech, radiology tech, med tech come to mind.
A degree is something I've always wanted. I've never cared about getting a job after school, I just wanted that degree with my name on it.
I can easily live of $40k a year, and finding a job that pays $40k/year isn't something that seems out of reach to me. If it is out of reach I can just get a second part time job and reach $40k.

Without a college degree I feel like I have not lived to my full potential. I feel like a failure. I've always liked school. When I'm in school I feel great for the first 2 weeks of the semester. Eventually, I feel lonelier and lonelier, I start to skip classes, I stop going to the library to study, I just isolate myself in my apartment, then I drop out.

If I had someone who I could talk to regularly I feel like I could make it, but I can never connect with anyone. I've never made a friend in college.
I know how you feel. I always wanted a degree as well just to have it but also to get a better paying job..

The fact you have your own apt says you're on the right track.

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post #20 of 30 (permalink) Old 11-04-2019, 09:21 AM
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Originally Posted by 2Milk View Post
A degree is something I've always wanted. I've never cared about getting a job after school, I just wanted that degree with my name on it.
I can easily live of $40k a year, and finding a job that pays $40k/year isn't something that seems out of reach to me. If it is out of reach I can just get a second part time job and reach $40k.

Without a college degree I feel like I have not lived to my full potential. I feel like a failure. I've always liked school. When I'm in school I feel great for the first 2 weeks of the semester. Eventually, I feel lonelier and lonelier, I start to skip classes, I stop going to the library to study, I just isolate myself in my apartment, then I drop out.

If I had someone who I could talk to regularly I feel like I could make it, but I can never connect with anyone. I've never made a friend in college.

i feel like you do ... but at least you can live with 40k (many people can't) ..you should be proud of that..many people can't even manage their money and money and make double and triple that..and are always broke (i have a few high school friends like that)
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