I'm a dead man walking - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-30-2015, 10:30 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 82

I'm a dead man walking


I'm so ****ing tired of this. I seek people to help me, I have no friends, I've kind of asked acquaintances/family and it just made it worse. I followed advice given on internet got nowhere. Then was told to seek professional help. 3 psychologist and 3 psychiatrist and over ten prescriptions later and I'm incredibly worse. I just got email from my psychologist saying she won't see me anymore. I just went for a 3 mile run hoping that would help but nope. Right now I want to cry but nothing is coming out. I'm popping xanax/klonzapam thinking about taking up drinking just looking for something to numb the pain.

Get help get help yet when you ****ing ask for help they just pass you along. I'm sick of people telling me it will be ok/to just keep going and can't give me a reason to do it. Tell me not to give up yet give up on me.

I really see no way out at this point I"m a ****ing loser. No one wants to even help me, who would want anything to do with me at this point. I"m so screwed up, if put in a situation which will never happen I'd just fail, if I didn't fail I'd mess it up some other way from being socially deprived since I'm so god damn desperate.

I told my psychologist I give myself 3 months to a year before I kill myself a few weeks ago, that number just got pushed up quite a bit today.
blah is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 11-30-2015, 11:21 PM
Seriously , never serious
 
Grog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 6,475
There is a lot of us that feel the same . I have no advice otherwise I wouldn't be here my self so all I can suggest is to try and find your happiness not something that makes you happy but something that creates happiness for you on the inside . Find that and you win the game . I'm still looking myself so again I have no answers and I don't think any one will have an answer for you either .
Can chat any time thougt if it helps .

. WTF is wrong with me



Grog is offline  
post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 03:44 AM
forever single
 
Hayman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Cheshire, UK
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 2,729
Hi @blah . Online advice is very conflicting and contradictory the deeper you look. What might help for some, won't for others. Sadly from my experience, there's no hard and fast piece of advice which seems to work for everyone with SA or depression.

I know how frustrated you feel when it comes to seeking professional help. I only have very limited experience myself (seeing three regular doctors and one CBT appointment with a specialist in that field) and not one of them really understood what I was telling them. All they offered was the same old advice that we've gone to seek them for alternative help in the first place…because we can't do what they're telling us. Ironic really… There’s more to SA than learning about it in a few textbooks. It gives no understanding of how the sufferer feels of the depths of their fears. Asking them to effectively click their fingers and materialise a whole new outlook in life doesn’t work nor help. The suffer is not always responsible for how they are and they never even consider that external influences might also play a large part. They never accept this. It's all our fault and that's that. They want you to tell them what's wrong and how you feel – but then rubbish your response. Why bother asking then?! If they won't listen and accept what we tell them, then we won't get anywhere. Honestly, there's no point in seeing professional help. All it does is lead to increased frustration and anger…and then, without a hint of irony, they turn round and say it's us that's not willing to listen. Honestly – stay away from them.

They're just as useless as regular people. Regular people can literally 'materialise' positives and progressions in life at will. We can't – that's where the problem lies. What comes to them naturally is something we don't have the ability to do – and that's where they simply cannot understand what it's like to have something they presume everyone has within them. We do the same things as them in terms of effort, yet it seems we're in quicksand. The more we fight to try and improve, the further we sink. No one is there to chuck us a rope. They merely look round tell us to fight harder as they walk on past in the 'race' that are live's progressions. Yet if one of their comrades falls, they'll certainly help them back up to their feet. Why? They've already made progressions. It seems if you 'spawn' a few from thin air, you're granted more as standard or others will go out of their way to ensure they get them anyway. For those who have nothing, they're basically told to do everything alone. So, those who need the most help to get up on even the first rung of the social ladder end up with absolutely no help at all. As those like us have nothing, no one feels compelled to chuck us even a few crumbs.

I know I'm a loser in life also. My life basically stalled when I was about 15 and never got going again. Barring having a job and a car, absolutely nothing else has changed in my life. It's positively infuriating – especially when I know I've done what I can, within the limits of SA, to improve myself. Nothing…not one single thing has worked.

If I had genuine advice to give to people which would be of at least some benefit, believe me, I'd happily share it because the situation we find ourselves in on a day to day basis is borderline untenable.

The only thing I can say is hold in there. What I'm trying to do is to basically become a more independent and resilient individual. I'm determined to get my revenge some day...and that what keeps me going. Basically, if anyone who has turned their back on me (basically everyone) in the future needs help in their hour of need, I'll happily close the door in their face. "Help yourself" or "It's all your fault" will be my words. I certainly won't feel bad about doing it and finally, some karma will be delivered.

Please don't forget that we also have each other to lean on here. We might not be able to help, but at least we can support one another - and see what really goes on in our backward society.

"My life is an endless purgatory, interrupted by profound moments of misery"

My Blog: https://haymansafc.wordpress.com/
Hayman is offline  
 
post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 03:57 AM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: paraspectral_semireality?
Gender: Other
Age: 32
Posts: 5,788
Umm, why does your psych not want to see you anymore?
versikk is offline  
post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 09:43 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 82
Quote:
Originally Posted by versikk View Post
Umm, why does your psych not want to see you anymore?
https://i.imgur.com/Y8N0OoE.jpg
blah is offline  
post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 10:42 AM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,570
Weed would change your life bruh
Posted via Mobile Device
bruised is offline  
post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 01:24 PM
Rookie
 
Sad Larry's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: I live in
Gender: Male
Posts: 230
My Mood: Sad
if youre psych terminated your therapy is cause its better for you. Not cause he/she doesnt like you. Its his/her job.

Nothing matters more than everything.
Sad Larry is offline  
post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 04:19 PM
Permanently Banned
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Canada currently
Gender: Female
Age: 26
Posts: 1,939
My Mood: Fine
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruised View Post
Weed would change your life bruh
Posted via Mobile Device
Weed can't help those who suffer the most

They live pain day in n out and sometimes run away. For good

Because not a single person understood and ya it might seem selfish to someone else

But the pain they endured is selfish. Harming in itself is selfish action that makes sense for certain ppl who keep dealing with REAL issues.
theotherone is offline  
post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 04:21 PM
SAS Member
 
2Milk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Searching...
Gender: Male
Age: 23
Posts: 5,606
My Mood: Bored
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruised View Post
Weed would change your life bruh
Posted via Mobile Device
Is weed your answer to everything?
2Milk is offline  
post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 04:29 PM
Orange Alert
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: State Home for the Ugly
Age: 32
Posts: 4,662
My Mood: Worried
We all are, give or take a few decades.
ScorchedEarth is offline  
post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 04:36 PM
Untitled
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: France
Gender: Male
Age: 26
Posts: 5,205
Quote:
Originally Posted by bruised View Post
Weed would change your life bruh
Posted via Mobile Device
haha this would actually make him worse
Overdrive is offline  
post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-01-2015, 04:50 PM
SAS Member
 
stewartmays1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 634
My Mood: Cool
sounds like you are going through a ruff patch all i can say is keep your head up

i feel the need the need for speed
stewartmays1 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Walking Dead: Season 6 WineKitty Entertainment 774 09-22-2016 07:51 PM
Unsteadiness and Weakness while Walking MikeGreo Coping With Social Anxiety 2 11-26-2015 04:56 PM
Im dead hailstorm129 Coping With Social Anxiety 5 10-20-2015 09:27 PM
Fear The Walking Dead WineKitty Entertainment 12 10-12-2015 09:09 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome