I'm 37 and I'm never going to have enough peace of mind to truly connect and love someone
I keep rewriting this post, so I guess I should just keep it simple:
Without inner peace and strong eye contact, I don't believe you can ever be intimate with another human being. So, if you have a major oddity with eye contact in one on one settings, what the **** do you do?
I've read the books, been to therapy, and took drugs. None of it helped me get to a calmness. If anything, it's just made me obsess more about it.
I guess I'm pretty sad the way things have gone. I feel like I'm a pretty good guy with a good sense of humor, but I can never relax alone with people. I don't enjoy the experience. Something is off. I can't naturally look into someone's eyes and feel good about it.
Are there any therapists who specialize in this? Am I missing something? Some people tell me to basically just keep forcing eye contact and eventually I'll get used to it. I tried this for a short period and all it did was make me feel like a bigger social retard than I am now.