I hate being biracial. - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 06:19 PM Thread Starter
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I hate being biracial.


Im a 14 year old boy. Im a freshman in high school. My mom is white and my father is black. I hate being mixed. I cant fit in with whites or blacks. I feel uncomfortable seen with my mom and my white side of the family and I feel uncomfortable while walking around with my father's black side of the family. I'm the true definition of a mixed person. I have yellow/tannish skin,brown eyes,freckles,big lips,and my nose is big but not exactly wide like a black person's,my hair is curly but more like a white person's type of curl. I hate being mixed because Im too black to hang out with the whites of my school and too white to be around black people. I've been labeled "White boy" by blacks and white people usually either think im black or mexican,but very rarely have white people accepted me as their own. Im tired of being harassed in school with the "What are you?" questions.. Almost every conversation i have with someone they tend to ask me where I'm from and that really gets under my skin cause that question is asked too frequent. Why were I'm from should matter to them? Life is so hard being mixed, sometimes I wish I wasn't mixed and was just fully caucasian. I also think I might be slightly mentally retarded,I seem to be an underachiever in school(even though it might be just lazyness and lack of motivation) and I feel very akward around strangers I dont know. It's hard for me to make new friends in school because I seem to lack a conversation grabber. I also cant get any girls because they don't like me and I feel nervous around them. I might be retarded because around my parents' friends I feel very akward and have a hard time talking to them without feeling akward for some reason. I have a hard time looking people in the eye and I cant smile at them while talking to them. Only around my close friends I can joke and laugh and be loud and have fun and forget about being mixed,but lots of my close friends dont even go to my school. in school I feel alone. I hate my voice,it's very hard to understand. For some reason I have a hard time projecting my voice,so I end up speaking very low and spitting out my words,so most people dont understand what I say. So I can't read out loud in class and thats why people dont really like to have conversations with me. I didnt have this speech problem untill this school year.
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 06:28 PM
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Well tiger woods is mixed...so is Derek Jeter.....
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 06:30 PM
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Da ***? I feel like I could have wrote this word for word when I was 14...
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 07:32 PM
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Youll be fine. It makes you more unique.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 09:24 PM
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I'm mixed too... it gets irritating how often people ask what my ethnicity is or "where are you from", etc etc. I don't really fit in with a specific racial "group" either.
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 09:50 PM
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I know how that feel. I'm mixed myself and most people think i'm black because of my hair style and some said that i look Native American (which mostly i am). I also have French and White in me too. Most blacks said that i sounds too white from the way i talk. it annoys me that people expect me to talk like other blacks. that just stupid. It depend on where you are raised from but they don't see that.

But your make it.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 06-02-2013, 10:11 PM
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i dont know if this is true but mixed raced people tend to be more successful from what i have noticed, i am white, very very white and i hate it
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 06:34 PM
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OP u are what u are, the sooner u get comfortable with it............

I hated my face for most my life, than after years of not looking in a mirror, and a new hair style, I don't mind my face anymore. That only happened a few years ago.

So I wasted most my life not liking my face for nothing. I don't love it, but hey its the only 1 I have.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 07:40 PM
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Even if you weren't bi racial you would still have trouble fitting in..blame it on your SA...the sooner you learn this the better.
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 08:28 PM
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Oh, I know the feel. Hell, half of my 'family' wanted nothing to do with me simply because I'm mixed.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 09:21 PM
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Oh, I know the feel. Hell, half of my 'family' wanted nothing to do with me simply because I'm mixed.
They want nothing to do with you because your dad decided to stick it in a different colored person? And they blame you?

Bleach is mostly water, and we're mostly water, therefore we are bleach.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 09:25 PM
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Even if you weren't bi racial you would still have trouble fitting in..blame it on your SA...the sooner you learn this the better.
This.
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 09:35 PM
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Have you spoken to your school about the bullying, or your parents about it? If it doesn't stop after that, is there any chance you could move school and go to the one your close friends are at, maybe?

I can't really say much about the biracial issue in it, because I'm white, but I've been bullied a lot by the way I look as well. They tended to pick up on the fact I don't have very thick hair and it barely grew past my shoulders. I was picked on by two girls when I was 10, they laughed at me saying 'you don't have a lot of hair, do you?', then all through my teens at school I was called 'Goldilocks and the Three Hairs' by a boy in some of my classes, then it went all round the school. My mum would try to help by using volumizing shampoos and conditioners, and drying my hair a certain way to make it more poofy, but as soon as the wind hit it, it'd mess up and didn't really make a different by the time I got to school. Then she suggested using a curling iron, then straighteners with the 'frizz' plates, styling it up a different way, and in the end offered to buy extensions but by that point, I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to change because THEY didn't like something I couldn't really do a lot about. I ruined my hair back in my teens because I was trying to look okay for bullies. And when I tried, I was bullied even more because it was obvious I'd been affected by their bullying TO change my looks.

I know hair and skin colour are two very different things, I'm not naive, but the meaning is still true, you shouldn't want to change the way you look for the sake of pleasing a bunch of idiots who should mind their own business.

I know it will feel like nothing from a complete stranger, or from anyone, but you're absolutely fine the way you are.
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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 10:43 PM
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I do think race perception can play a role in SA. Not entirely, but some. I am not mixed but I am a non-black person of color (south asian decent) and the only person of color growing up in elementary school in my class. I can only recall one other person in my entire grade who was hispanic. Otherwise, everybody was caucasian. It wasn't a huge deal, but I had a hard time explaining my cultural experiences to people. What was worse that I had a racially discriminating school principle in elementary school. But I have noticed that even being around people of my culture, I still have SA. I do feel comfortable in many ways I can't when I'm the only minority sometimes, but the situation is relative. I've noticed I get along best with a very diverse crowd of people, where nobody is particularly the majority, because it's easy to fit in and people generally are open-minded and willing to learn about each other's experiences/cultures.
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 10:54 PM
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My father was white, and my mum is Filipino. I too feel as if I'll never fit in anywhere, yet it is mostly due to my SA. I'm fairly certain there are tons of mixed individuals who excel at fitting in everywhere because they're so social and fun. Race is inconsequential when it comes to personality, as it should be...

I won't deny the general public make generalizations and assumptions based on outward appearances. Yet once you get a chance to communicate with them, you should be able to prove them otherwise, granted they themselves are mature and thus worthy of your time. If not, then no loss since you'll be essentially paying them no heed and focusing on the people who don't suck, and yes they are out there.

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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-26-2014, 10:59 PM
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 01:13 AM
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I think it is more that people find your back story interesting. Americans tend to have such mixed heritage and those different cultural influences must create a more interesting character in some capacity. I am 100% British as far back as I can see, and frankly, that is kind of boring.

Mixed race kids, mostly of Caribbean and White English heritage, were often popular when I was at school. Hip Hop culture made it cool to be black and they were. That said, you did not have a black and white divided where I grew up.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 03:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HanSolo View Post
OP u are what u are, the sooner u get comfortable with it............

I hated my face for most my life, than after years of not looking in a mirror, and a new hair style, I don't mind my face anymore. That only happened a few years ago.

So I wasted most my life not liking my face for nothing. I don't love it, but hey its the only 1 I have.
I hate my face

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This world is so ****ed up! The fact that just looking good will completely turn your life around seems wrong to me. What are we ugly people supposed to do?
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basically all i can do is to suffer the consequences of the DNA i have been given.
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Looks are like a lens through which your every action is interpreted
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 12:00 PM
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Im black, and im still not black enough to fit in w/ black people

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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 11-27-2014, 12:28 PM
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I know how you feel. I'm 3/4 black and 1/4 white, since my mom is mixed and my dad is black, some of my siblings got more white features like smaller lips and pointer noses, but I ended up with thicker lips etc and the white people in my class used to tell me to go back to my bush, that I had rubber lips and that I was the "n" word. This over time made me dislike infact hate having black in me since what can you call a white person that will hurt their feelings? Cracker, string lips, milk lolly?
The black kids would call me Jamaican and say that I spoke too posh for one (im not Jamaican), and that used to piss me off, when I used to tell them where I as from they would say "no you're not you're Jamaican" and all the Jamaican girls in my class were rowdy, yardies who were too rude and had terrible lace weave.

I pretty much had to ignore that until I finished school and it was a headache, but hey I'm free.

I'm not saying that you should endure it if it makes you feel that bad, but in your future you're going to be faced with a lot of judgmental idiots who prefer to look at the packaging before and ignore the good contents.
But you'll be okay if you hold your head up high and I am what I am and if you don't like it go f**k yourself.

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