I feel like such a loser - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 02:18 PM Thread Starter
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I feel like such a loser


At 37 I have accomplished absolutely nothing. I never even had a girlfriend, I had terrible grades in school and all I have is my high school diploma. Every time I open my mouth I feel dumb. I obsess about every words I said and how it should have been said differently. I feel so worthless

I know I tend to be hard on myself but there is no other way to see my life. Its just a big epic fail

I'm over medicated, go on my therapies every week. Yet it feels like I'll never get out of it. I tried suicide and I failed even at that

I guess I'll just be a big waste of space till the day I die

Venting felt alright. I might do it again
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post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 03:14 PM
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Same. Therapy and medication are mostly useless for me also except for Klonopin. Now if I had weed I'd be OK

Late Bloomer or Dead Man, idk
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post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 03:26 PM Thread Starter
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I'm on booze right now. It does the trick too
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post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 03:35 PM
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I don't mind feeling like a loser as much as I hate losing hope. There are lots of people who are thought of by their peers as losers who nevertheless live relatively decent lives. Most people don't think of me as a loser because almost no one even knows I exist. There are very few people (IRL) who actually know me well enough to think "what a loser!" and I don't respect most of them so I don't really care what they think. My sister and my dad are pretty much the only people who I sort of don't like the thought of it that they might think that. I don't know I respect them as much as I just have an affinity for them because I'm supposed to and they haven't completely alienated me the way my mother has.

Anyway, I think if I had a way to survive I would not really care what most people thought of me.
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post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 03:50 PM Thread Starter
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Dave, no one know I exist either. At work they called me a ghost. I wish I could turn it off. Have your mindset. They don't know I'm here so they don't think of me in anyway.
I do like my family though. I don't want them to ever think negatively of me
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post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 08:09 PM
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Yeah, my life's been a complete waste of time. I think I've failed in just about every way a person can fail. I can't even afford to be an alcoholic.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 09:22 PM
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Welcome to the club, we have similar issues here on the forum or exactly the same ones. This year for me seemed to be a struggle but then it's not totally negative but still if you get what I mean! Sure you do, right?!
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post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-07-2019, 10:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draco99 View Post
At 37 I have accomplished absolutely nothing. I never even had a girlfriend, I had terrible grades in school and all I have is my high school diploma. Every time I open my mouth I feel dumb. I obsess about every words I said and how it should have been said differently. I feel so worthless

I know I tend to be hard on myself but there is no other way to see my life. Its just a big epic fail
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Well your only 37 so you have time to turn it around. Make the second half of your life better then the first.

Remember at least the best part of being down is their is no where to go but up! lol

But seriously don't give up. Look I was in some pretty horrible situations in my teens until my mid 20's. (42 now).
Things can get better. Not saying im great now but I am doing a whole hell of a lot better then I was back then. So things can get better. My advice would be right down some goals for tomorrow. Just get through tomorrow. Then do it again the next day. Keep accomplishing the goals on a daily basis and those gains will add up and your life will be a whole lot better months from now or years from now.

Not happy with your physical shape. Hit the gym and watch your diet. Need a good job? Start applying or gaining some skills to become someone that employers want to hire. Keep practicing and making effort to improve your social skills. Small steps in the right direction add up. None of this is easy by any means but what is your other option? Just give up. Don't do it.
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post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 12:23 AM
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it feels like I'm playing the wrong sport at the wrong venue and I'm not even on either of the teams. what am I doing here? and everyone can see it.

but hey, the world isn't really how it seems. social hierarchies aren't entirely real. successful people are usually ****. etc etc. you get to judge them right back.

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
―Balon Greyjoy
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post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 12:58 AM
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brother you are not alone. stop worrying/ stop comparing yourself to others. maybe just live every moment as if it were your last, do things that make you happy. even the sun itself will die someday. i mean at the end of the day nothing really matters.

on a side note, pple who preach are miserable cnts themselves who want to feel power/superior just because they can speak louder because they don't have social phobia.
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post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 05:01 AM
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How on earth can you get to age 37 and never ever worked? How do you get away with all those years of scrounging off the state while not being pushed into some sort of job either by your parents or the government?

If you have absolutely no work experience by that age, it's going to be extremely hard to get a job now unless.you massively lie on your CV.

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First it was so quiet and now I know I am not alone in here.

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If you can read this, you must look at my profile page. I like people who have attention to detail, and curiosity.
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post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 08:15 AM Thread Starter
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I never said that I never had a job. I got my first job at 18 and been working ever since
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post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 08:43 AM
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If you've had a job for 19 years, then it's not true that you've accomplished nothing
I get it though, I feel like a loser most of the time too. The only good thing is that I've mostly stopped caring about it.

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post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 08:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draco99 View Post
I never said that I never had a job. I got my first job at 18 and been working ever since
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doing pretty well on that front then

"I take what is mine. I pay the iron price."
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post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 12:57 PM
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The thing which Chrisinmd said about writing down what you want on a daily basis -- or as often as seems emotionally bearable for you (which is my addition to his advice) -- is a very, very helpful suggestion. Focus on being your best self, some way, somehow, and do your best to periodically remember what you have achieved.


But focusing on the achievement of goals is not going to help you feel better without a parallel intent to *choose to feel good* about the things you achieve. Remember that, as it is very important.


Aim for improving yourself, and consequently your situation, in ways which are as big or small as you imagine to be doable.


You are not a failure, Draco99. Considering what you have written with regard to your anxiety about the composition of your communications, making the effort of posting this thread -- and then replying to your fellow posters -- shows a strong will to work on your perceived issues with yourself. Well done!
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post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-08-2019, 09:44 PM
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I wouldn't call yourself a loser. You just have issues (like many of us) that you need to work on. As long as you continue to work on them you'll be more of a success, at least on your own terms. I would only really consider you a loser when you don't even bother to try to improve yourself and your situation and thus you're stuck in the doldrums.
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post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 06:28 AM
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Yeah... I feel like I'm not living but merely existing. Like a ghost. Like the NIN song... everyday is exactly the same.
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post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-09-2019, 06:38 AM
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list all things lost!

i have, in a post here.

Respect, attention, regard..

all i receive is hate, oust, with absolutely no reason attached.

material items one thing. otherwise, as above.. a war with humankind
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post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-10-2019, 12:58 AM
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I don’t feel like a loser but I feel like I deserve better. I try and try to push myself out of my comfort zone but I don’t get **** in return. I’m well mannered, educated, I go to the gym four days a week and I study philosophy. I have plenty to give but women never give me a chance. I know for certain that I’m better looking than half the guys out there who women just throw themselves at but it is what it is.

Thank God for youtubers like Oreo Man, Infinite1, Kent, Barracka and McHenry Cruiser.
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post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 12-15-2019, 05:10 PM
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So you're saying you feel like a loser because you accomplished nothing : never had a girlfriend, had terrible grades in school and all you have is a high school diploma.

Who said you need a girlfriend to not be a loser? If you need someone else to feel better about yourself then that's not the answer, you need to be happy with YOU.
You have your high school diploma, so that's an accomplishment already, one that a-lot of people didn't achieve actually, including my New York friends. And I'm sure you have many other achievements.

Also, whats with the pressure of having it all figured out at 37? Live your life, you're young, do what you want to do in life and enjoy it, don't live someone else's life/try to exceed expectations of "society", your parents or your teachers.

Have a good day!
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