||10-02-2011 03:28 PM
Originally Posted by lonely metalhead
Thanks for the lecture I know you are trying to help and maybe I'm just in the wrong kinda mood but really this is what I have heard all my life. Ok first of all I DO try and fu*k up every time. I can't stop thinking of how fu*ked up I am, so I can't really talk about anything else, atleast without bullsh*ting them which I rather not do. I don't take friend's for granted I'm just aware that chances are the will stop giving a damn eventually, they always do. One last thing the whole no ones gonna like you if you don't like yourself even though im aware of that, I just think its bullsh*t at this point, it may be true but seems most people have a reason not to like me, why can't I have my own? Will liking myself despite what a fu*k up I am fix my problems? No it won't. Yeah its a vary vary slow process I have been suffering through it for year's, do you think that people can deal with it indefinitely until things finally get better, or do you think people have a limit on just how much misery they can take?
And you're gonna **** up when you try at first. But if you keep trying and notice what you're doing wrong you will
improve, I'm living proof of that, as well as many others here. Don't give up so fast, you have to endure a little but keeping a positive attitude helps a lot
in the meantime. If you just keep putting yourself down you'll keep ****ing up, and the cycle will continue and you will
be in never ending misery.
If you feel like you're bull****ting them, then keep in mind that being a good friend includes talking about things other than your own life and how bad it is (at the moment). Also think about how talking about things other than how depressed you are will help you. You want to get better right? Then you have to stop putting yourself down all the time. That's the first step. At least have a goal to improve, if you think about improving instead of moping that will get you out of that depressive state of mind and more into a constructive, productive state of mind that will help you a lot in the long run.
Liking yourself does help, because first of all you won't feel as bad. And you'll have some sort of base holding you up when you're feeling really depressed (which you clearly are right now). Also, you really need to forgive yourself, you're only human. You have social anxiety. You're not a **** up. You're going through a rough time in your life. It can
get better if you don't beat yourself up every single time you mess up. It happens. If you want it to happen less, don't give up on yourself. If you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, continue doubting yourself. That's pretty much what it comes down to, and that's what I mean when I say no one is gonna like you until you learn to like yourself and forgive yourself. It's all about improvement. If you won't let yourself improve then you won't obviously and you'll be stuck in everlasting misery. It's your call. Also I suggest a therapist if you're not already seeing one, he/she will probably get this point across a lot better than I can. Good luck in the future :). You can
improve, this may sound cheesy but you have to believe in yourself or I guarantee you will never improve and you will stay miserable :|