Firstly, can you relate to people with mild autism / asperger's? Did anything happen around age 10 like a stressful event or family situation that might have stunted your emotional growth? Those sounded like possibilities, but I don't think there is anything wrong with how you are.
You actually seem to have a good understanding of your own emotions (see the reply by probably offline
) and you don't come across as mentally/emotionally immature at all. You just need to develop social skills and have more positive social experiences with adults. It's unfortunate that there's a stigma about playing with toys and liking 'childish' things, and the isolation and exclusion that you received because of that has caused these problems. I doubt you would feel so inadequate and childlike if your interests were perfectly acceptable to everyone, so try not to feel like the fault is in you.
There are people who can relate to you. Everyone gets terrified about entering adulthood, some more than others. When you don't have social support from your peers or social experience, it's even harder because you can feel like you're skipping too many steps or being thrown in the deep end. I actually feel older than I am now, but when I was a teenager I sort of felt like a 12 year old, and then at some point during the last few years (I'm 22 now) I realised I finally felt like an adult... but I never really had many teenage experiences and that feels like a blank part of my life. Sometimes I feel 22, but sometimes I feel like an odd mix of a child and a 40 year old.
Lots of people love toys and you'll find friends your age who share your interests. Anime in particular is very popular with all ages. I still make detours to the toy aisles when I'm shopping... The 'toys' I play with are acceptable for adults (model building), but I'm embarrassed that I also want to play with the army men, plastic farm animals, and lego sets. I've always liked dollhouses which is even more embarrassing as an adult and
a man. It's silly to not do what I would enjoy, but I guess that's why I have social anxiety.. I'm scared of being judged and excluded.
I bet there are two types of adults; those who still play with toys, and those who wish they had the courage to play with toys.