I f****** hate my mom - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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I f****** hate my mom


I can't stand her, she has OCD and depression, you can't say anything to her because she gets offended, she wants to control everything i do, i can't even get out of the bathroom without this b**** asking me if i washed my hands..how f**** up is that?, when i wanna hang out with someone the only thing that she doesnt ask me is what blood type the person has, and she's always right about everything and i can't say anything against her because my dad defends her, he's always on her side, she's like the untouchable princess over here, i hate her so much i feel punching the s*** outta her. When i was a kid she overprotected me (still does) and she wouldnt let me hang out with other kids my age, so she clearly is the one to blame for my anxiety issues, but no according to her therapist that's not her fault, in front of others she is all sweet and kind but at home she's psychotic obsessive mess, i wanna find a job so bad just so i can get the hell away from her.

to say i wanna see her dead would be an understatement
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post #2 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:07 AM
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I can relate to pretty much 100% of what you wrote. All I'm doing is waiting for college so I can get out of here.


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post #3 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:19 AM Thread Starter
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I can relate to pretty much 100% of what you wrote. All I'm doing is waiting for college so I can get out of here.
lmao me too, i wasnt even interested in going to college before but now im seriously considering it just so i cant get out of here.
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post #4 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:42 AM
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heh, nice rant. Sounds like my dad, except for the abuse. The guy was always walking up and down to the stairs, checking on my siblings and I to see that we were being productive. It was very common for him to come into the living room and turn the television off while we were all watching it, because there was "work to be done". And God help you if you ever talked back (unless you were a raging b.itch like my sister). He would always tell me about how much more life experience he had, and used this against me when we got into arguments.

Ironically enough, he forced me into a plethora of anxiety, nervious-ridden social situations like ordering food, talking about certain things with teachers, asking stupid, provoking questions, being more responsible than my age demanded, which helped me become shy and social withdrawn. He would smile at any and everybody before we got home and he beat my *** lol or talk down to me because I 'had an attitude' or did something astronomically unimportant wrong (e.g. "why are your shoes in front of the stairway?" while his are right next to mine; "why are there dishes in the washing side of the sink?"; "why are you sleeping with your clothes on?"; "why are you afraid of me?", etc). He would never bother to encourage me to engage in social activities, but instead would limit my access to the things I felt comfortable doing.

The dude had a big head, plain and simple. And he treated my mother like trash. Having said that, I wouldn't wish death upon anyone, even him, but I could care less if I ever see him again. I might agree to talking with him on the phone once every couple of years for a half hour or so.

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[...] i wanna find a job so bad just so i can get the hell away from her.
Yes, separate yourself as much as you can. College was my escape; I took classes at a community college back home for three years and transferred to uni afterwards. I had no other options unless I was going to move out and work a crappy full-time retail job for years. I was very lucky to move on and be in the position I currently am. I wish you the best of luck.

I live in fear is to not live at all.
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post #5 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:44 AM Thread Starter
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i've tried getting along with her a countless number of times but it doesnt work, one day she's nice to me and the other she's a neurotic b****, she's almost bipolar, i dont have patience to deal with that crap, i dont even wanna look at her right now.
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post #6 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:46 AM
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If it's any consolation, she does love you. Last time I checked people weren't overprotecting of others because they couldn't care less about them.

And another thing...

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to say i wanna see her dead would be an understatement
That is a bit too much. Just my two cents.
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post #7 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 11:48 AM
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I was convinced my mom was a manic depressive, in my youth.... She's still like that to this day, but I stopped caring a long time ago...

Hope everything works out for you!
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post #8 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 03:52 PM
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i feel your pain
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post #9 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Pialicious88 View Post
I can't stand her, she has OCD and depression, you can't say anything to her because she gets offended, she wants to control everything i do, i can't even get out of the bathroom without this b**** asking me if i washed my hands..how f**** up is that?, when i wanna hang out with someone the only thing that she doesnt ask me is what blood type the person has, and she's always right about everything and i can't say anything against her because my dad defends her, he's always on her side, she's like the untouchable princess over here, i hate her so much i feel punching the s*** outta her. When i was a kid she overprotected me (still does) and she wouldnt let me hang out with other kids my age, so she clearly is the one to blame for my anxiety issues, but no according to her therapist that's not her fault, in front of others she is all sweet and kind but at home she's psychotic obsessive mess, i wanna find a job so bad just so i can get the hell away from her.

to say i wanna see her dead would be an understatement
im not going to call you a brat, but tbh this was a very bratty post.

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post #10 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:15 PM Thread Starter
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im not going to call you a brat, but tbh this was a very bratty post.
if you dont have a controlling mom i doubt you can relate to anything i said, its a living hell.
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post #11 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:20 PM
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Your father protects her because he loves her, that's what your spouse is supposed to do. However you might get the raw deal here, don't think your father doesn't love you must because he sides with her.

Take your own advice, seek a job, and move out. Good luck miss.

pro·cras·ti·nate/prəˈkrastəˌnāt/
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post #12 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:21 PM
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I can so relate to this. My mom has graves disease it makes her act insane and even though it's not a mental disorder it has left her with numerous issues. We can't even go grocery shopping together because we always end up fighting. I blame her too for my S.A.D. and other mental problems. My mom was like yours as a kid she was overprotective towards me though i don't think that's what caused my S.A., it was more that she spoiled me as a child and so I was of course bullied and during the time of that I had no support whatsoever which led to S.A. She also never drives me anywhere so even if I had friends that wanted to hang out I wouldn't be able to. anyways I've learned that the best thing to do is to stop blaming (I know, I know, easier said than done) and just focus on getting better. Don't be a victim. Start seeing a therapist or something. Along with that forgive your mom for past issues and try to avoid discussion topics that get you both angry or atleast discuss them when you guys visit your counselor. And her wild antics, just deal with them they could always be worse. Sorry if I come off kinda *****y and unsympathetic, this is just the only attitude that works with me when my mom gets all verbally abusive on me, feeling bad for yourself just makes it worse.
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post #13 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:27 PM
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The night my mother died I had to work real hard to disguise how pleased I was. I knew from that moment on me and my father's lives would be so much easier. I attributed all the major problems in my life to her and may just have forgiven her for them, and been sympathetic towards her demise, had she at anytime apologised for her mistakes. She suffered as she died, that I'm sorry for, nobody ought to suffer, but that she's gone I'm pleased.

Sometimes I have dreams at night in which she's returned from the dead. I don't mean like a ghost or zombie, these are more "the hospital made a mistake and I hadn't actually died" situations. In these dreams I'm filled with the big feeling of disappointed when I see she's back for good. And on waking I feel so relieved to find out it was a dream.

Perhaps I too am a "brat" but I feel that at least you and I are honest about our feelings. I just don't believe these people who say things like "she's my mother of course I love her" as though motherhood was some nobel act and those who spawn child should be worshiped for it. If you're going to have children treat them well, with understanding and compassion.
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post #14 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:28 PM
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if you dont have a controlling mom i doubt you can relate to anything i said, its a living hell.
but i did and still do. thats why imo the original post sounded kind of bratty. despite the many personality conflicts that have occurred ive never had the urge to punch her or "wanna see her dead", nor do i squarely blame her parenting skills for my anxiety issues because she raised me the only way she knew how, which was how she was raised. its one thing to want to move out and not have to deal with it much longer, thats understandable, what i dont get is the seeming lack of empathy for your own mother even though youre aware that she has OCD and depression. thats just my opinion though.

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post #15 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:31 PM Thread Starter
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I can so relate to this. My mom has graves disease it makes her act insane and even though it's not a mental disorder it has left her with numerous issues. We can't even go grocery shopping together because we always end up fighting. I blame her too for my S.A.D. and other mental problems. My mom was like yours as a kid she was overprotective towards me though i don't think that's what caused my S.A., it was more that she spoiled me as a child and so I was of course bullied and during the time of that I had no support whatsoever which led to S.A. She also never drives me anywhere so even if I had friends that wanted to hang out I wouldn't be able to. anyways I've learned that the best thing to do is to stop blaming (I know, I know, easier said than done) and just focus on getting better. Don't be a victim. Start seeing a therapist or something. Along with that forgive your mom for past issues and try to avoid discussion topics that get you both angry or atleast discuss them when you guys visit your counselor. And her wild antics, just deal with them they could always be worse. Sorry if I come off kinda *****y and unsympathetic, this is just the only attitude that works with me when my mom gets all verbally abusive on me, feeling bad for yourself just makes it worse.
no it's ok, i actually told her about going to therapy but she doesnt want to, i remember once we sorta had family therapy and she changed a lot but now she suddenly went all crazy again, i guess it's because she's getting older she's old enough to be my grandmother, she had me when she was 37, that's makes it even harder for us to get along.
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post #16 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
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The night my mother died I had to work real hard to disguise how pleased I was. I knew from that moment on me and my father's lives would be so much easier. I attributed all the major problems in my life to her and may just have forgiven her for them, and been sympathetic towards her demise, had she at anytime apologised for her mistakes. She suffered as she died, that I'm sorry for, nobody ought to suffer, but that she's gone I'm pleased.

Sometimes I have dreams at night in which she's returned from the dead. I don't mean like a ghost or zombie, these are more "the hospital made a mistake and I hadn't actually died" situations. In these dreams I'm filled with the big feeling of disappointed when I see she's back for good. And on waking I feel so relieved to find out it was a dream.

Perhaps I too am a "brat" but I feel that at least you and I are honest about our feelings. I just don't believe these people who say things like "she's my mother of course I love her" as though motherhood was some nobel act and those who spawn child should be worshiped for it. If you're going to have children treat them well, with understanding and compassion.
i couldn't agree more with your post, overprotective, controlling moms treat their kids as if they were their property, when i was a kid my mom wouldnt let me get out of the house then when i started going to school i had a really hard time fitting in, problem i still have. I dont know why people act like mothers are saints, i knew some people were going to call me a brat cause talking bad about mother is not seen as a good thing by society, is like "how dare you say those things about the person that gave you life" etc turns out she gave me life because of a failed hysterectomy just because she couldnt keep her d.amn legs closed and then she makes my life hell. Just because you give birth to a baby that doesnt make you a better person, if you reproduce is your obligation to take care of that child.
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post #17 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 05:00 PM
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Yep, you've got it. It's like when you watch Jerry Springer or Maury or something and dime poor kid comes on saying she hates her mother because her mother had beaten the [email protected] out of her every day since she was born. And everyone Boos the kid because "she's your mother, you have to respect her"

My problem was my mother chose to have me. I was a planned birth. Which just amazes me. My mother had many medical problems which there was a very good chance she'd pass on to her kids (which happened to me) her doctors were so shocked that shed given birth they insisted she have a hysterectomy. So I was her first and last kid and even with my problems, and the fact she could barely take care of me as a child, she still wanted more kids. Eh, the Larkin poem This be the Verse, says it all.
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post #18 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 05:03 PM
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I would say find a job, leave. Its not that simple but at the same time it is that simple.

"it's like she dun woke up mad like her husband had bought her the wrong cereal..."
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbKaw...eature=related

i'm going to punch you in the baby maker.
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post #19 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 05:11 PM Thread Starter
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I would say find a job, leave. Its not that simple but at the same time it is that simple.
yeah im looking for one but no one calls me :/
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post #20 of 36 (permalink) Old 07-22-2011, 05:20 PM
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I'm really sorry you have a mom like this.



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