I dont deserve good things... - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-11-2019, 11:20 PM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 30

I dont deserve good things...


Hey guys, I dont know why I constantly feel like I dont deserve the good things that I have. I also feel like I drain my dads time and money and that I am not help to my sister despite them saying they love me. People who think I am a nice person also dont know the real me. I could get so angry that I would scream and cry and throw things when I got angry and I dont think my relatives know the real me. I dont do those things any more but I dont feel close to them. I guess they see what i want them to see.
Infinitegalaxycat is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-11-2019, 11:45 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 10
1.Getting angry doesn't make you a bad person.

2. are you sure you have a "real me," or are you sometimes kind/friendly, othertimes not so much depending on the day/circumstances etc? What makes a person good or bad depends entirely on how they treat other people. It sounds like you treat people just fine since they think you are a nice person.

3. Having a mask is just part of being human. No one walks around having perfectly benevolent thoughts about everyone they meet. Our "shadow" sides are not as socially acceptable, so they make much of an appearance. That doesn't mean they don't have them
zulumabala is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 08:21 AM
bleeeaaergh
 
versikk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: daotown
Gender: Other
Age: 31
Posts: 4,898
You have ideals that you feel you have betrayed, they may even be subconscious ideals that aren't readily accessible to your conscious surface-mind.

These ideals might be internalized social norms, or something similar.
Posted via Mobile Device
versikk is offline  
 
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 11:48 AM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Ohio
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinitegalaxycat View Post
Hey guys, I dont know why I constantly feel like I dont deserve the good things that I have.
Maybe they came too easy.

A famous football coach once said anything that comes easy ain't worth a damn. A person needs to struggle and strive to attain something great. The only problem is though, you get addicted to the struggling and striving.

If you really at your core think you're a pile of garbage like I do, then even when you do finally get something great you end up feeling like it was a fluke, doesn't count, etc.

I've gotten and done things that others thought was good. I think it all sucks. And I'm not a fool enough now to go after anything else. I know the drill. Drive hard, work hard, get it, then just think it sucks and is a waste of time.
Ohio Fatso is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 12:23 PM
SAS Member
 
Kamikaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Florida
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Posts: 252
Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinitegalaxycat View Post
Hey guys, I dont know why I constantly feel like I dont deserve the good things that I have. I also feel like I drain my dads time and money and that I am not help to my sister despite them saying they love me. People who think I am a nice person also dont know the real me. I could get so angry that I would scream and cry and throw things when I got angry and I dont think my relatives know the real me. I dont do those things any more but I dont feel close to them. I guess they see what i want them to see.
I feel this way too. It's not that I think I'm mean... but I can be. I have a bad temper and people that think I'm this "sweetheart" haven't seen my bad side. I've even gone off on a few people in public before- because I was already angry and they set me off even more. I'm embarrassed about that behavior now, and that's something I'd normally never do. When I'm riled up enough though, I can't control it and that side of me comes out.

Through oblivion I charge
Kamikaze is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-15-2019, 11:32 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 498
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohio Fatso View Post
Maybe they came too easy.

A famous football coach once said anything that comes easy ain't worth a damn. A person needs to struggle and strive to attain something great. The only problem is though, you get addicted to the struggling and striving.

If you really at your core think you're a pile of garbage like I do, then even when you do finally get something great you end up feeling like it was a fluke, doesn't count, etc.

I've gotten and done things that others thought was good. I think it all sucks. And I'm not a fool enough now to go after anything else. I know the drill. Drive hard, work hard, get it, then just think it sucks and is a waste of time.
Yea there is a quote, "the only thing as destructive as failure is success" or something like that. The point is, if you have something to reach for, you can just continue on with the goal forever and stay occupied and wonder about the pot at the end of the rainbow. When you get what you desperately wanted for years, you realize that not only does it not solve your problems, but also what is there left to attain? Money and sex and drugs and alcohol, none of those things make you happy in the long run.

You have to really just like the journey because the destination when you reach it becomes flat and dull and boring after a little while
Disheveled and Lost is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 02:16 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 94
Rule number 1 of life: it's not about what you deserve...Unless you believe we live in a meritocratic society. And when you find a solid, stable definition of identity that does not change or fluctuate depending on a variety of factors, then let me know, because I'm still searching for the "real me" whatever that means.
GiftoftheGaffe is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 02:28 PM
SAS Member
 
andy0128's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Europe
Gender: Male
Age: 38
Posts: 5,617
I don't care about owning lots of expensive things and hanging around in high society. It doesn't make someone more important to be like that if anything it shows an insecurity that you can't go through life without thinking your better than everyone else. When i was a child i did see things diffently but then you grow up become knowledgeable and see the world how it really is.
andy0128 is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 06:44 PM
SAS Member
 
ShotInTheDark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2017
Location: Lithuania
Gender: Male
Age: 21
Posts: 803
My Mood: Sleepy
That's the truth. Why do I have to get something good while being such failure... I only deserve everything bad that happens to me.

Even shy people can be sassy sometimes...
ShotInTheDark is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 04-20-2019, 02:12 PM
bleeeaaergh
 
versikk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: daotown
Gender: Other
Age: 31
Posts: 4,898
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShotInTheDark View Post
That's the truth. Why do I have to get something good while being such failure... I only deserve everything bad that happens to me.
doubt it


  • As Gombrowicz’s novel continually teaches,
    there is no meaning, there is no reality, there are only interpretations, guesses and approximations, ephemeral perceptions.
versikk is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How many people suffer from scopophobia? Den Watts Coping With Social Anxiety 21 08-15-2015 10:22 AM
taking on social anxiety (my exposure therapy) Chris1981 Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 3 08-06-2013 11:22 AM
Some nice things you can do to feel good Ready To Freak Out Positive Thinking 17 03-14-2011 06:53 AM
Does it ever make you feel good to see popular people have bad things happen to them? Chris2012 Frustration 21 09-06-2010 07:37 PM
Good things that have happened the last couple of weeks :) rb1088 Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 3 04-01-2008 05:57 PM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome