I feel as though anxiety has taken a lot of my ability to enjoy things and live in the present.
I can't enjoy things like going out to eat with friends, going to movies, being with family, or even being alone (although there is a subtle comfort in being alone for me that makes it feel preferable). Everything I choose to do always drains me with feelings of anxiety or shame. I can never just enjoy people or going and doing things for fun anymore because I know those things come in tangent with my anxiety. Feel constantly worried and no matter whether I'm alone or around people everything is draining me. I don't really know what to do with myself sometimes. I'm not really sure if I can enjoy life, live in the present, and just be.
This sounds like generalized anxiety disorder from overthinking? I'm not sure, but that's my guess.
This might sound overly spiritual, but flow
is a very important part of life. When you harmoniously engage in any activity, you experience flow. That's where you immerse yourself within the moment and forget about everything else (including your anxiety and self esteem issues).
The best example I can think of that describes this and that relates to everyone, is the feeling you get when you watch a really good movie or sci fi movie. In reality, you know everything is staged, including the special effects. But when you watch the movie and enjoy it, you're not really thinking about any of that. You're just immersed in it. Even seasoned CGI artists know how suspension of disbelief works is but it doesn't stop them from enjoying the film.
People with anxiety disorders have a hard time engaging in flow because anxiety gets in the way. It takes practice to shut off that unhelpful anxiety part of the mind (that's overthinking everything and anything). But in the end its your mind. If its stopping you from enjoying life, then don't pay it any mind. Just focus on the moment and enjoy it.