I don't think I enjoy life - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-01-2020, 09:20 PM Thread Starter
Don
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I feel as though anxiety has taken a lot of my ability to enjoy things and live in the present.
I can't enjoy things like going out to eat with friends, going to movies, being with family, or even being alone (although there is a subtle comfort in being alone for me that makes it feel preferable). Everything I choose to do always drains me with feelings of anxiety or shame. I can never just enjoy people or going and doing things for fun anymore because I know those things come in tangent with my anxiety. Feel constantly worried and no matter whether I'm alone or around people everything is draining me. I don't really know what to do with myself sometimes. I'm not really sure if I can enjoy life, live in the present, and just be.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 08:14 AM
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I can relate alot to what you say...theres no motivation...every activity has lingering anxiety which never lets you relax which makes everything less enjoyable and less motivating. This is a reality which I have accepted.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-05-2020, 09:08 PM
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I think we all suffer from a lack of confidence. I've struggled connecting with people since I was young, but the older I get the harder it becomes to rebuild my confidence.

The draining thing you talk about is real. That's why I've pretty much checked out from a social life. I go to work and home home to nothing. Besides a few semi social things I just watch TV, browse the net, and stare at the wall.

Let's face it: We got stuck with bad genes. We're ****ed
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-06-2020, 01:01 PM
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Originally Posted by DeliveryDude View Post
I think we all suffer from a lack of confidence. I've struggled connecting with people since I was young, but the older I get the harder it becomes to rebuild my confidence.

The draining thing you talk about is real. That's why I've pretty much checked out from a social life. I go to work and home home to nothing. Besides a few semi social things I just watch TV, browse the net, and stare at the wall.

Let's face it: We got stuck with bad genes. We're ****ed
I would say Dudes got it. You can confirm that doing things you used to do for fun, you can no longer do without feeling really bad. Whilst it is good at times to push into those negative areas, you cant do it all the time. I think you need to accept where you are at for now, and keep away from doing anything that makes your SA worse. You do need to try to accept it though, if you are always fighting back thinking "I should enjoy this and I'm not" you will never win. Chin up and keep going!
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-11-2020, 06:11 PM
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I know how you feel. Even though I've always had anxiety I used to enjoy doing social things and hobbies more than I do now. While I haven't done so, I would strongly advise you seek counseling or therapy in the near future. I'd like to myself I just can't seem to push myself to figure out how to go about it. If we keep waiting the weeks turn into months and years of time that we could have been making better use of. That's how I feel anyway.

Underneath the cold November sky, I wait for you... As the pages of my life roll by, I wait for you... I'm so desperate just to see your face, meet me in this broken place...

Be a little brave for a little bit of time.
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-11-2020, 08:13 PM
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Originally Posted by Don View Post
I feel as though anxiety has taken a lot of my ability to enjoy things and live in the present.
I can't enjoy things like going out to eat with friends, going to movies, being with family, or even being alone (although there is a subtle comfort in being alone for me that makes it feel preferable). Everything I choose to do always drains me with feelings of anxiety or shame. I can never just enjoy people or going and doing things for fun anymore because I know those things come in tangent with my anxiety. Feel constantly worried and no matter whether I'm alone or around people everything is draining me. I don't really know what to do with myself sometimes. I'm not really sure if I can enjoy life, live in the present, and just be.
I noticed when I got social anxiety that I didn't enjoy music anymore, i didn't feel as excited. I think this is what your talking about:
https://youtu.be/gmEJEfy5f50?t=1939

I have read about this in multiple threads before, and I tried explaining it to a therapist before but he didnt understand what I meant. But thats it. That's the reason we don't enjoy things anymore as much. Medication can help this.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 02-16-2020, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Don View Post
I feel as though anxiety has taken a lot of my ability to enjoy things and live in the present.
I can't enjoy things like going out to eat with friends, going to movies, being with family, or even being alone (although there is a subtle comfort in being alone for me that makes it feel preferable). Everything I choose to do always drains me with feelings of anxiety or shame. I can never just enjoy people or going and doing things for fun anymore because I know those things come in tangent with my anxiety. Feel constantly worried and no matter whether I'm alone or around people everything is draining me. I don't really know what to do with myself sometimes. I'm not really sure if I can enjoy life, live in the present, and just be.
This sounds like generalized anxiety disorder from overthinking? I'm not sure, but that's my guess.

This might sound overly spiritual, but flow is a very important part of life. When you harmoniously engage in any activity, you experience flow. That's where you immerse yourself within the moment and forget about everything else (including your anxiety and self esteem issues).

The best example I can think of that describes this and that relates to everyone, is the feeling you get when you watch a really good movie or sci fi movie. In reality, you know everything is staged, including the special effects. But when you watch the movie and enjoy it, you're not really thinking about any of that. You're just immersed in it. Even seasoned CGI artists know how suspension of disbelief works is but it doesn't stop them from enjoying the film.

People with anxiety disorders have a hard time engaging in flow because anxiety gets in the way. It takes practice to shut off that unhelpful anxiety part of the mind (that's overthinking everything and anything). But in the end its your mind. If its stopping you from enjoying life, then don't pay it any mind. Just focus on the moment and enjoy it.
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