i don't like my dad much - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-21-2009, 11:35 AM Thread Starter
gaz
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i don't like my dad much


My dad has never been proud of anything i do. When i was young boy and i had friends from school coming around he'd treat them more like his son's.

When i was young i had a bit of problem with my weight, i wasn't massively overweight but i was what you call chubby, My dad and i used to go to our next door neighbour if we ever needed help o'r to borrow tools o'r something and our neighbour did the same. Whenever we saw our neighbour, our neighbour would blatantly comment on my weight saying things like ''you've gone fat haven't you!''......Not once did my dad defend me and stick up for me...Never! My dad even said i was fat once as a kid when my jeans would no longer close.

As i got older i had lost weight initially due to anorexia, but upon recovery i took up cycling as a sport. I did some racing and i was never the fastest cyclist in the club i was among the slowest, but my dad never praised me, instead he'd praise other boys in the club as if they were his own son's.

My dad spoilt me pretty much but i wish he would just have been more supportive and emotionally close.
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post #2 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-21-2009, 12:03 PM
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My father has basically been a ghost in the house for, ever since I can remember, he's a terrible alcoholic. Not violent or anything, kind of an *** sometimes, but mostly he just hides in his room drinking. We live in the same house but probably speak to each other once every two weeks, which consists of "Hi". It's sad but I don't see it changing anytime soon. Until he's sober I don't want to have anything to do with him. I don't hate him, but probably as close to it as you can get. When I move out in a few months I guess I am probably going to have to tell him why I won't be seeing him again, until he's sober, if ever. So yeah, not looking forward to it.
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post #3 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-21-2009, 12:55 PM Thread Starter
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I'm sorry to hear that. My parents are pretty much teetotal.
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post #4 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-21-2009, 01:08 PM
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Gaz - I think alot of people here can relate including myself - neither of my parents were very supportive and were generally very negative people - they loved nothing more than to ridicule and mock me for who I was and everything I did.
I can give you no good advice except to perhaps move out which would pretty much solve all your family problems - maybe then your dad will appreciate you more.
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post #5 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-22-2009, 06:33 AM
 
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You just have to keep your head up high. He is still your dad and you know he loves you very much.
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post #6 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-22-2009, 06:50 AM
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I can relate to a lot of what you say, gaz, especially being unsupportive and pretty much oblivious to what a child might need. My father didn't show any preference for other kids, he just seemed to think all children were miniature adults and that we should start acting like it. I'm pretty sure he was a child once, what with the pictures and stories his family told and all, but sometimes I wonder.
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post #7 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-22-2009, 07:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gaz View Post
My dad has never been proud of anything i do. When i was young boy and i had friends from school coming around he'd treat them more like his son's.

When i was young i had a bit of problem with my weight, i wasn't massively overweight but i was what you call chubby, My dad and i used to go to our next door neighbour if we ever needed help o'r to borrow tools o'r something and our neighbour did the same. Whenever we saw our neighbour, our neighbour would blatantly comment on my weight saying things like ''you've gone fat haven't you!''......Not once did my dad defend me and stick up for me...Never! My dad even said i was fat once as a kid when my jeans would no longer close.

As i got older i had lost weight initially due to anorexia, but upon recovery i took up cycling as a sport. I did some racing and i was never the fastest cyclist in the club i was among the slowest, but my dad never praised me, instead he'd praise other boys in the club as if they were his own son's.

My dad spoilt me pretty much but i wish he would just have been more supportive and emotionally close.
I am proud of you for being in the cyclist club!
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post #8 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-22-2009, 08:17 AM
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I haven't spoken to my father in about three years. I know he thinks I'm a total waste of space, since he was always annoyed at me for not getting a job when I was too afraid to and my insistance in perservering with my education. Same with my sister really. He thinks education is a waste of time because he never did a-levels or went to university. Well, **** him.
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post #9 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-23-2009, 04:51 PM Thread Starter
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I am proud of you for being in the cyclist club!
That was when i was 15 - 18
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post #10 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-23-2009, 04:53 PM
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My dad pretty much beat me and emotionally abused me on a daily basis as a child. He isn't a bad guy, as strange as it may sound, he just has a furious, hairtrigger temper. We get along fairly well now, although I haven't truly forgiven him.
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post #11 of 22 (permalink) Old 09-23-2009, 04:58 PM
 
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I don't get along well with my father. He can fly off the deep end with very little provocation. Years ago when i came out he said some very hurtful things like "your going to hell" and such. He is ok with my sexuality now but it's hard to forget what he said in the past, we have been a lot less close since then.
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post #12 of 22 (permalink) Old 03-08-2012, 03:53 AM
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I hate my dad at times


My dad also has not been supportive of me. I always remember those hurting moments when he forcefully used his fingers and knocked on top of my head when I was between 7-10. It hurt so much, I cried and my mom would not dare to say anything to him. He would not try to understand things before jumping into conclusion. He is that type of person. When I was home from school, he never asked how it was in school. He also yelled at my mom a lot. He has never taught me any of my subjects in school, such as English, Math, never, none of it. I have never seen him picked up any books to read. He used to say to me "see, your cousins did well in school. I will see if you can do the same." When I had As from my classes, he would not say "I am proud of you son!" No, nothing like this. It hurt me a lot emotionally. A few times, I wanted to commit suicide. However, I said to myself, just live one more month and see if there could be any changes. And, that one month extension has been ongoing till now. It gets to a point where sometime I don't know if he was mad at himself or me, or my mom. Maybe he forgot to use condom, maybe he just hate a lot of things and never figure out what was the point of his life in this world. Sometimes, when I was still a boy, I saw other schoolmates having nice and caring dads, I would cry inside me. Why couldn't I have a nice father just like other people could. However, as I am older now, I come to realize that many people are sharing similar difficulties with their dads. Guys & gals, we should be proud of ourselves. I know that our relationships with dads have been rough, yet there are things for us to cherish, to live for and to be happy about. We are proud human beings, yes we are. And that we should be happy too.

- Reymund
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post #13 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2013, 03:58 AM
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My dad once said he will never work for me and my siblings because we are selfish ! Yes. He did. He has been unemployed (not because there are not jobs, but because he is lazy). That hurt. I am left with 2 years now in varstity and I will be working. He swears like no ones business . And i feel bad or my mother. So yeah, whatever.
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post #14 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2013, 04:04 AM
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*for my mother* sorry. Just hold on. It also hurts seeing my friends with their dads that take care of them and then my mom n my siblings and I struggle. Life gets better. It does.
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post #15 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2013, 05:06 AM
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Originally Posted by ringfortheking View Post
You just have to keep your head up high. He is still your dad and you know he loves you very much.
if that is true then its better if TS and others like him seperate from their parents.....cause its obvious the family's dysfunctional and the relationship has not been healthy regardless of what intentions their parents truly had.
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post #16 of 22 (permalink) Old 12-21-2013, 05:09 AM
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You just have to keep your head up high. He is still your dad and you know he loves you very much.
Even though he emotionally neglected him...
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post #17 of 22 (permalink) Old 05-10-2015, 10:41 PM
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It runs in the family


My dad is lost in his own wealthy haze. He unwittingly buys peoples friendships. I tried to help him, but he's too far gone. Stuck in his ways. I don't think he will ever know what true happiness is. It's realy hard to like him. I'm a spoiled only child (at the time he cut communication with my 3 sisters). he raised me with the belief "whats yours is mine", when I got older I realized there are caveots to his belief. Ways that he can control people, make them feel guity because of his "charity". He's a model citizen and true hero to most, but to me he's an empty slate searchin for a soul with a god, a woman, or anything he thinks he can buy. I'm sorry dad I tried, but your lost.

He was the son of preist, moving from town to town living in the basements of churches, when his father left them he never forgave him. Never had much to say about my grandfather. Maybe it runs in the family. I loved you at one time dad. I thought the world of you. I will be nothing like you.
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post #18 of 22 (permalink) Old 05-10-2015, 10:50 PM
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Mum & Dad had 3 boys


maybe they wanted a daughter. Better if I had a sister to live with.

My brothers lived in the same house. Good life. They had daughters. So mum liked her granddaughters.

I was an only child 30 years later. The sick loser

How about some sex engineering to mix up the household?

Very good to start by earning money to get relations. First job is to root of life. I loved my moped pizza delivery cos I love wheels. After shift free pizza to take home to friends. I got tips from happy customers. Delivering to apartment blocks where residents were so happy, I chose that place as my first mortgage. I regret living here since 2001. I lost all girlfriends & jobs. If I get a pizza delivered here, I might torture the deliverer, maybe stealing the moped key for a ride cos kids tried to do that when I was there
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post #19 of 22 (permalink) Old 05-10-2015, 11:17 PM
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Hello. I want to let you know that I went through the same **** you did with the eating disorders and the verbal abuse from my dad as well. If someone is mean to you for no reason, their rudeness is nothing but jealousy. Trust me. Think of something your dad would be jealous of. Like the fact that you can accomplish anything without his help. He should actually be proud of you for that. I believe that's what parents want from their kids, but sometimes parents can be jealous of their kids. I am currently supporting myself and my parents just keep on telling me I'm going to fail. I left home at a very young age where it wasn't even legal to live on your own. Ignore your dad and keep on living your life. It's yours. Not his.
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post #20 of 22 (permalink) Old 05-10-2015, 11:52 PM
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Twitchy should write a novel. Twichy please read bukowsky's "post office", I think it's right up your alley
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