On a sidenote, I was in a hospital when i was 19 for 2 weeks, i was suicidal but also a nervous wreck from huge amounts of hard liquor and weed and chain smoking while not eating for 2 years. 12,000 might be 2 or 3 times more than what they really should charge. I have no idea what they charged when i went in, but all it is is a business. Whoever works there will just prescribe medication and give some type of counseling, but whoever works there above all else is trying to just pay rent. Jails are also a huge business in this country. I don't know the details but jails make a fortune for people high up.
You might run into a few people in there who care, but they just want people in and out and will charge a fortune. If a celebrity has a breakdown they stay in the most luxurious hospital and pay a fortune.
The bottom line is you survived and you have to just avoid ever going back if possible. All I can suggest is some type of support like groups or a therapist. Or just go to the gym, read inspirational quotes or books. I have read so many quotes on brainyquote by celebrities and people. Or play video games or watch reality TV, go for walks in the park, meditate, or listen to relaxing music, or angry violent music.
I listen to 90's gangsta rap all the time and it has the opposite effect, it calms me down, whatever works for you