I cant stop asking what if.... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-11-2019, 11:09 PM Thread Starter
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I cant stop asking what if....

So, a few weeks ago I attempted suicide by take 225 tylonol pills and when I got to the hospital they made me drink this nasty black stuff that caused me to throw up the tylonol and after 3 or four days in the hospital they sent me to the mental hospital. Tylonol destroys your liver and if I would have waited 2 days I probably would have needed a liver transplant which cost and average of 100000 dollars. My dad doesnt have the money. I ALMOST MADE HIM BROKE AND I FEEL TERRIBLE!!! I already feel bad because my hospital visit was 12,000 dollars and I already feel guilty. I want a high paying job in the future so I can give him back the money and then some. He never said I owed him money but I feel so guilty.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-11-2019, 11:53 PM
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Well I'm glad you're still alive. Try not to worry about the "what if's" and just focus on getting yourself better. Your dad obviously cares about you, you should try to get better for him too. I'm sure that would be worth more than 12000 to him

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-12-2019, 03:25 AM
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-13-2019, 03:27 AM
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I know someone who took multiple pill overdoses mixed with alcohol & just never paid the hospital, I mean it makes sense if you don't care about your life, why care about bill's.

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Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
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It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-13-2019, 08:26 AM
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Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
I know someone who took multiple pill overdoses mixed with alcohol & just never paid the hospital, I mean it makes sense if you don't care about your life, why care about bill's.
You'll have bad credit when you go to heaven.

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-13-2019, 06:40 PM
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Glad you are still alive. So the main thing you need to worry about is getting yourself in a place mentally where you still want to live. Hopefully the mental hospital helped you out. Work on getting in a good place health wise. Forget about the money just get better. How old are u by the way and what made you feel you wanted to end it all? We are here to help.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-15-2019, 11:24 PM
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I was suicidal a lot in my life, and I was in a hospital when i was 19. I would focus on taking a REASONABLE amount of medication (not too high a dose like they prescribe) and some type of therapy. You need to worry about yourself now and a way to find peace above all else. The money in a way is not a waste because they saved your life. It should also be a wakeup call that you need to put your life and problems in perspective. You want to avoid getting yourself to that point that you were in again in the future. I have thought about suicide a lot and it is nothing to be ashamed of but acting on it is not a solution. If this is the last time you are in this situation, then in a way 12,000 is not that bad because your life and health are more important than anything
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-17-2019, 08:56 PM
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On a sidenote, I was in a hospital when i was 19 for 2 weeks, i was suicidal but also a nervous wreck from huge amounts of hard liquor and weed and chain smoking while not eating for 2 years. 12,000 might be 2 or 3 times more than what they really should charge. I have no idea what they charged when i went in, but all it is is a business. Whoever works there will just prescribe medication and give some type of counseling, but whoever works there above all else is trying to just pay rent. Jails are also a huge business in this country. I don't know the details but jails make a fortune for people high up.
You might run into a few people in there who care, but they just want people in and out and will charge a fortune. If a celebrity has a breakdown they stay in the most luxurious hospital and pay a fortune.

The bottom line is you survived and you have to just avoid ever going back if possible. All I can suggest is some type of support like groups or a therapist. Or just go to the gym, read inspirational quotes or books. I have read so many quotes on brainyquote by celebrities and people. Or play video games or watch reality TV, go for walks in the park, meditate, or listen to relaxing music, or angry violent music.
I listen to 90's gangsta rap all the time and it has the opposite effect, it calms me down, whatever works for you
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