I can't talk to girls - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-06-2013, 11:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Isabelle50 View Post
No such thing..... really.

Anyone want to message, my profile is open.
You didn't see my age did you.
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post #22 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-06-2013, 11:46 PM
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Yeah I saw it. No such thing as too late. .. We may not date but no reason we can't talk.
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post #23 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-06-2013, 11:59 PM
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Yeah I saw it. No such thing as too late. .. We may not date but no reason we can't talk.
I can talk. When it comes to dating that's a problem.
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post #24 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-07-2013, 12:36 AM
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Definitely make the most of your youth! I should follow my own advice but for me, I'm okay with talking to guys as friends but when the thought of the relationship escalating to something more enters my mind, I completely shut down. Most posters will say just go and try but it's a lot harder when you are in the moment. I'd say prepare as much as possible--learn to read her body language (and consequently learn to subtlely use body language to flirt), study dating tips, etc. Basically, learn to control the situation rather than letting it control you. There's a lot of good advice on google. If you are a gamer, you can also think of it as a game with levels of experience and "quests" (LOL); maybe that will lessen your fears a bit. As for me, I don't think my issues will be solved unless I address my fears of commitment and being emotionally intimate with another guy. :/
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post #25 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-07-2013, 12:37 AM
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Can relate to your post in many ways sooner.
For people like us talking to girls is a huge challenge.

All I can do is just encourage you to make the effort - whatever happens after that I'm sure you'll feel better that you made that effort.
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post #26 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-07-2013, 01:52 AM
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It is easier said than done depending on the severity of your anxiety but talking to the opposite sex doesn't have to be anymore difficult than talking to someone of the same sex. It seems hard simply because you're putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and possibly unreasonable expectations on the outcome.

In the past I had a hard time talking to any girl and eventually realized it was because I was too concerned about what kind of impression I would make and what she thought of me. You need to teach yourself to just not care. Talking to a girl doesn't have to be some big event in your life and you don't need to be a smooth talker whenever you chat with a girl. Just talk to her like you would if she were a guy.

I do still get nervous talking to girls but its only when I've decided that I like them. Then I suddenly care what they think of me and obsess about it. And sure enough as soon as this starts I begin saying stupid stuff or acting awkward, but before this happens I can be perfectly charming or friendly because I'm not concerned with the outcome and just being myself.

It was like that when I got here.
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post #27 of 31 (permalink) Old 09-22-2013, 04:59 PM
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I feel ya


I am totally the same way!

I am proud of who I am as a person, and I feel like if someone knew who I was, they'd be interested, but I don't have the confidence to just talk to people. With guys it isn't so bad, but with girls I just shy away. At one point in my life I was extremely depressed because of social anxiety.

Sometimes I tell myself that it's because I'm an introvert in general, but I'm not sure if this is true. I do feel like I am, but I'm not sure if this is a valid excuse. I feel like I don't have anything to contribute to a conversation. I'm in college by the way, so it would be nice to get this out of the way.

Also, I can't stand when I try and tell someone about it and they act like it's just bizarre. Like it's ridiculous to feel this way. I don't know if it makes them feel better or what, but it's silly.

Perhaps simply practicing would help.
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post #28 of 31 (permalink) Old 12-16-2013, 02:55 AM
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i have the same problem,In college i couldn't talk with my female class mate and i always thought when i can ask my Friend about a specific matter why should i ask them now my situation is even worse it's some how my final year and class mates of course (everybody have somebody )and all i see strange people left in college that's even more awkward having a conversation with them,i mean from the beginning it's wrong they have their own class mate they our younger than me and it is Like wtf this guy want from us !
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post #29 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-03-2014, 05:56 PM
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I would really like to help, so if you or anyone else on this thread has this problem and wants a girl's perspective on your own individual situation, you can kik me at "sexycupcaketime." And no, I'm not a ****. I may or may not have been drunk when I created that name.
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post #30 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-03-2014, 05:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desperado24 View Post
i have the same problem,In college i couldn't talk with my female class mate and i always thought when i can ask my Friend about a specific matter why should i ask them now my situation is even worse it's some how my final year and class mates of course (everybody have somebody )and all i see strange people left in college that's even more awkward having a conversation with them,i mean from the beginning it's wrong they have their own class mate they our younger than me and it is Like wtf this guy want from us !
Please kik me! My username is sexycupcaketime. Hope I can help.
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post #31 of 31 (permalink) Old 01-03-2014, 10:27 PM
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I have this problem too, but not just with women. I can't talk to anyone unless I have a valid official reason. I am too afraid to admit to anyone the slightest interest I might have in them personally for fear of making myself vulnerable. It doesn't even help much if I'm being approached (not that it happens very often). My brain goes into emergency shutdown and I'm left with the conversational skills of a Magic 8-Ball until they desist.
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