O yea, all the time. I'm a really bad student, terrible practices, habits, etc.
I'm also really erratic with my thinking and if I were to get diagnosed today I'd probably have a minor case of add or something.
Truth is, I'm proud of who I am, who I act, how I think. All I want from school is to get into the college of my dreams. I need to get good grades and I have no clue how to do that.
Aside from grade pressures, I have a **** ton of social pressures that I hate facing. I absolutely hate how intrigued everyone is into everyone's life. Honestly, people just never mind their own ****ing business and that bothers me :/
I just don't know how to deal.
Well I can kind of relate. But back to your grades and work ethic, what happened to me was very irritating. I consider myself to be very smart, not from some sort of superior or smug standpoint, but more of if I put in extra effort, I'd likely be a straight A student.
But as time went on, I began to fear getting noticed, and I had a lot of fear of being confronted, criticized or judged. So with that fear, I began to procrastinate on doing assignments, doing other things that "pleasured" me; reading, games, etc. Then I would feel panic to just get the assignment done at the last minute, and the anxiety would be intense but it would be over quicker. But in doing so, I wasn't putting in my fully effort, thus hindering my overall grades. And I felt bad that I could do better but wasn't, all because I've held onto the notion that if I do well consistently, and eventually slip up, I would face much harsher criticism. Since sixth grade, parent/teacher conferences have terrified me, because I couldn't stand any possibility of judgement, even if I was doing well.
I'm under the pressure of two problems fighting each other; do well and be noticed or don't do well and feel bad for not being my full potential.
So I shared this just to see if you might relate, so you can get an idea of your problems and look for ways to handle it.
Also, I would consider going to get a diagnosis from a doctor, just so you know what you're fighting.