so i was just googling stuff and i saw this and felt like answering
as it is im 20 years old and am kinda in the same position. i notice lots of people saying their the same but i think i might know abit why we are like this.
but first about me and how im the same
-apparently i have a high iq, can never spell properly though
-no real jobs and no university for me yet
-last 3 years in my room doing not much (however listen to the song flowers on the wall- it describes people like us and is awesome!!! )
-and havent dated in a while even though im at least decent looking and can talk just fine to people
- been a childrens entertainer (make balloons, i dont know why i mention this.... ) since ive been 12 or 11?
and i dont know if you feel like this but my whole family kinda thinks im a bum, or at least i dont feel like they ever give me any credit when i try to do right so it kinda keeps me down (people call you dumb so you become dumb) even though its a bad excuse i think moving out would help with that.
i feel like i could do soo much, i got the ability but maybe i always think if i try i will fail so i never try in the first place, which causes me to feel terrible about myself which makes me feel like not bothering to try in the first place? maybe i would rather pretend im good then ever trying to see how good i am, in case i fail..
bad sleep causes me to be tired so even when i do try sometime i fail (too tired to wake up on time etc.) and that just reinforces the fact that if i try i fail so i kinda stop trying
plus by wathcing too much tv, reading fantasy book, playing games etc. is bad for you cause it shows you a fantasy life that while can be based on real life isnt real and in ways impossible to obtain so it makes you feel life isnt worth much
sry if this is all kinda long and i might have put things down wrong, but heres what recently happend to me...i met a very amazing girl, why is that important?
well it kinda kickstarted me for the first time since highschool. i dont think you should use a boyfriend/girlfriend to motivate you but what it did is kinda breathe life back into me. now i kinda feel like working so i can get a good job and in the future if i am with her or another i can help provide if i have a family, i want to go to school to become what i want to become. i dont know how to say it but i think since highschool i literally just stopped everything and did nothing and once you get like that it just feeds itself to you get stuck in it and next thing you know you cant seem to get motivated or bother to do anything. however i know a few things that really helped as well, working out (i prefer wieghts) at least 2 or 3 times a week will keep you active and fight off the feeling of nothingness (im going to call it that for now
it helps to get out often and go have fun with friends ( skating, sports ect.)
and remember one of the worst things about this is the mindset, it gets stuck like this, it gets used to doing nothing and it keeps growing until it feels like you want to scream but still you do nothing. i felt a lot of shame and that also hurts cause you dont want to face it. and for people who know people like this it doesnt help if you say they are always lazy or say they are always bums cause if they are trying to change it they need positive comments otherwise in my experience when i got negative i just gave up cause i thought whats the use?
so idk if this helps but it is long
i think it also helps if you completely explain your situation to people who are negative so maybe they can help you? well i hope this kinda helps someone