How To Not Feel Like A Loser? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 33 (permalink) Old 08-11-2020, 10:05 AM
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You have to put on your big boy pants and get out there regardless of how you are feeling.


Look at the people who are still posting on here since like 5 years ago... lol... anxiety doesn't go away but your time does so spend it well.
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post #22 of 33 (permalink) Old 08-28-2020, 10:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sociallychill View Post
You have to put on your big boy pants and get out there regardless of how you are feeling.


Look at the people who are still posting on here since like 5 years ago... lol... anxiety doesn't go away but your time does so spend it well.
absolutely, anxiety is a chronic condition. SA does indeed make it harder to live life but you have to push yourself.
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post #23 of 33 (permalink) Old 08-29-2020, 12:19 AM
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Make this hand gesture, and place in front of forehead.




The truth is strictly what the ones in power perceives it to be.

Enjoy any good things, even the little and menial ones, as you will never know what impending distresses could descend upon you in a moment.
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post #24 of 33 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 10:31 AM
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Hey Cool Ice Dude55 So listen

Nobody is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. There are always going to be people in life who have progressed more, and those who are behind. Life experience, socio economic and academic advantages, some coast by on luck and their looks. With anxiety we tend to focus on what we haven't achieved and set unrealistic expectations for where our lives should be.

I have always felt this way too so I can relate. I was younger than you when I had my first relationship but before that I compared myself all the time and even after I compared myself to guys who I saw as more successful with women, even though I had had sex I still felt inadequate against better looking, more successful guys who had more life opportunities than me. I ve started to learn that your human worth and value is not based on your work, your relationship status, your own perception of life might tell you, you need to have A and B but this is a negative distortion.

You look at everyone else and believe they are achieving more, doing more, and that some how makes them better than you. What you don't see is how hard they may have had to work to get there, the struggles they face you can be grateful you don't face. They may be lucky in some areas of their lives but struggle in others or put up a facade of pretending things are good when they are not. Don't measure yourself against anyone but yourself.

Write down something you did and mark off how it made you feel on a scale of 1 being not good to 10 wonderful . Do this everyday and reward yourself for small goals. Does this make any sense to you? Don't look at other people s success as a reflection of your failure or think you can't accomplish anything cause of it. Instead find someone in your life or outside of it and change your jealousy to inspiration. Comparison is the thief of Joy. I should know. I let it control my life for so long.

I m afraid of not being enough
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post #25 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 03:13 PM
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I really should feel like a loser since, by almost any standard, I am. But I somehow keep forgetting to feel that way. Not sure how that happens, though. I just don't really see anyone else as being better or worse than me. I don't think I ever have really felt that way, tbh. Maybe for a bit in my late teens/early twenties. Whether or not someone can learn to feel this way is something I can't answer.

Is it just me or is it getting crazier out there.
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post #26 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 08:45 PM
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Living on your own is overrated. I did it for at least 5 years and it sucks. Working so hard only for all the bills to take it away. You should focus on finding a job but dont get so caught up in moving out just to fulfill some sort of notion that living at home with parents are for losers.

All the time I spent working and paying my own bills to live at my place while i saw friends who still lived at home but were able to work and save their money and be able to actually buy the things they wanted cause they didnt have to pay rent, utilities, etc.

People just say this stupid stuff because they dont want you to be able to work from home and save money. They want you to move out so you will be broke, have to struggle, and pay bills like the rest of us idiots. This is why i stopped listening to people lol.

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post #27 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-01-2020, 08:46 PM
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I don't necessarily feel like a loser. I just don't feel like there's anything I can win.
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post #28 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-02-2020, 02:09 PM
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I don't think you are one from what I've read of your posts, I definitely am but somebody has to lose right. People always forget that. If you play a game, unless you're a really immature brat, you don't normally try to make the person who loses feel **** about it. I don't think people who are 'winning' generally do that though, it's mostly people who are very close to losing themselves so they're insecure about their own status.

edit: lol I already responded to this thread a month+ ago.
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post #29 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-02-2020, 06:39 PM
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I feel like a loser because I am a loser. Nothing can change that except not being a loser. So there’s your answer I guess. Either change your definition of a loser or do whatever you need to do to not be one.
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post #30 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 09:47 AM Thread Starter
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idk why they moved my thread. it related to the 30+ forum because it was about being behind on life.


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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 09:49 AM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sociallychill View Post
You have to put on your big boy pants and get out there regardless of how you are feeling.


Look at the people who are still posting on here since like 5 years ago... lol... anxiety doesn't go away but your time does so spend it well.
Firstly, I'm not a boy. Secondly, theres nothing wrong with using this place for over 5 years. If thats what people want to do then let them.


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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-05-2020, 09:50 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by The Patriot View Post
Hey Cool Ice Dude55 So listen

Nobody is better than you and you are not better than anyone else. There are always going to be people in life who have progressed more, and those who are behind. Life experience, socio economic and academic advantages, some coast by on luck and their looks. With anxiety we tend to focus on what we haven't achieved and set unrealistic expectations for where our lives should be.

I have always felt this way too so I can relate. I was younger than you when I had my first relationship but before that I compared myself all the time and even after I compared myself to guys who I saw as more successful with women, even though I had had sex I still felt inadequate against better looking, more successful guys who had more life opportunities than me. I ve started to learn that your human worth and value is not based on your work, your relationship status, your own perception of life might tell you, you need to have A and B but this is a negative distortion.

You look at everyone else and believe they are achieving more, doing more, and that some how makes them better than you. What you don't see is how hard they may have had to work to get there, the struggles they face you can be grateful you don't face. They may be lucky in some areas of their lives but struggle in others or put up a facade of pretending things are good when they are not. Don't measure yourself against anyone but yourself.

Write down something you did and mark off how it made you feel on a scale of 1 being not good to 10 wonderful . Do this everyday and reward yourself for small goals. Does this make any sense to you? Don't look at other people s success as a reflection of your failure or think you can't accomplish anything cause of it. Instead find someone in your life or outside of it and change your jealousy to inspiration. Comparison is the thief of Joy. I should know. I let it control my life for so long.
Good idea fank you.


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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 09-15-2020, 01:47 PM
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Wish i knew. That would be nice tbh.

“I swear to you gentlemen, that to be overly conscious is a sickness, a real, thorough sickness.”

- Fyodor Dostoevsky Notes From The Underground

"It’s noble to be timid, illustrious to fail to act, sublime to be inept at living....”

- Fernando Pessoa The Book Of Disquiet

"Praying for the wave to come now
It must be for the very last time
It's twelve o'clock till midnight
There must be someone to blame..."

-Manic Street Preachers Australia
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