How to not be bitter and depressed from celibacy? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 27 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 03:54 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Well you could look at the dark side of the web & melt your eyeballs at the true colors of human nature, or look up how we're raping the planet everyday, that might make celibacy seem not so bad
i appreciate this kind of input - no worries blue2.

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Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
I think that's why some people get ashamed or embarrassed about sex, they're ashamed what they're capable of liking in the moment.
that's what it is.

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Originally Posted by Not Human View Post
If you think you can no way get what you want. I will suggest you something. Watch some autopsy videos.Watch how the human body is dissected and the organs are taken out for examination. You might find it weird. But I can tell you;it will give you a different perspective of life.I know it worked for some people. You might go through the same experience, who knows.
i used to do that in my younger years , but not too distract myself from horniness, just out of curiosity.

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Originally Posted by deetzy View Post
Someone booty called you so what is that you did to make them want to?

Were you laying in bed frozen out of anxiety/fear or what?
1. being a cool-looking alt kid, being funny, being smart, nice smile - something like that?

2. yes immense SA.

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Originally Posted by chrisinmd View Post
What is your age and where do you live?
huh


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Originally Posted by truant View Post
So much time wasted trying to make human connections.
yup.

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Originally Posted by smoothlinghs View Post
. We can grow over our needs, you just need to practise your brains.
teach me.


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Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
I thought you were a virgin but then you mentioned having sex before so.. why can’t you do what you did then to get sex from women?
don't really have a social circle other than work, and just SA in general. i do have SA during sex as well but it's a lot milder than the SA of finding a sex partner.

probably harder too now that i've realised i'm trans tho i'll definitely pretend to be a man when my desperation becomes unstoppable.


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Originally Posted by Reverie101 View Post
well I think the best way to see celibacy as something positive is to look at the cons. When you have sex a lot it can become very addicting, also with celibacy you avoid heart break-- when ever I read,see or hear about a trash asx relationship I thank my lucky stars I'm single, then the obvious...no stds.
There's no greater regret than knowing you've cut your own life short by chasing tail.

look on the bright side.
it's good advice. the addictive aspect is very real for me. one taste and i'm hooked. even had a coworker sadistically joking she'd come on to me, after i told her i was super horny. when she said that, i started coming on to her (i knew she's taken) and now i'm exerting myself to back down.

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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I think (probably) you are going to be bitter if you want to be bitter. If you think you don't want to be bitter but still are, you probably have the issue of conflicting forces working inside where there is a lot more of you that wants to be bitter than there is that doesn't. Like maybe it's analogous to the person who doesn't want to be overweight but really loves to eat and really hates to diet and exercise.
yeah that's definitely a part of it. acceptance and all that.

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post #22 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:25 AM
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1. being a cool-looking alt kid, being funny, being smart, nice smile - something like that?

2. yes immense SA.


1. Well then there you go!
2. Therapy helps and there are all different types of it. You can see which one works the best for you.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #23 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:43 AM
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Seems like it falls along with other threads saying "SA is not allowing me to do what I want". How do you cure SA? I don't know, but we have threads galore dedicated to this secret of the universe : D

You have fetishes, right? If it's sex in particular that makes your SA spike, maybe meeting people specifically to exercise a fetish (e.g. spanking), without sex, could work as a stepping stone?

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
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post #24 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by rabidfoxes View Post
Seems like it falls along with other threads saying "SA is not allowing me to do what I want". How do you cure SA? I don't know, but we have threads galore dedicated to this secret of the universe : D

You have fetishes, right? If it's sex in particular that makes your SA spike, maybe meeting people specifically to exercise a fetish (e.g. spanking), without sex, could work as a stepping stone?
In a way, yes, it's one of those threads.

I think meeting people just to live out fetishes could work, but it's still really intimate... Maybe
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post #25 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 01:39 PM
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Focus on all the good things about being single. You can do what you like/don't have to answer to anyone/have loads of freedom/not be tied down/have the freedom to explore options.


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post #26 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 09:23 PM Thread Starter
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Focus on all the good things about being single. You can do what you like/don't have to answer to anyone/have loads of freedom/not be tied down/have the freedom to explore options.
Thank you Glacier Lad
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post #27 of 27 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 12:20 AM
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Originally Posted by versikk View Post
how do I get rid of this bitterness and depression? i just want my ego to disappear.

masturbation barely relieves my celibacy-caused-depression.

when someone talks about sex i feel like they stabbed my soul with a knife. the pain is intense for a few minutes and then lingers for 1-2 days afterwards. and if someone mentions sex again during that window of 1-2 days, the wound is torn open again and the pain comes back.
it hurts so much because i can imagine the person having sex if they mention something sexual, which also makes me incredibly horny if that person is attractive to me.

i want to be more sociable but i'm terrified of humans and i know most people aren't my type (even friendwise), so how am i supposed to even get close to a situation where they want to have sex with me?

there was this one time where an acquaintance booty called me but i couldn't do anything. i went over to her house and just laid in her bed like a frozen fish stick. she then got disappointed and got out of bed.

i don't know how to meet new people, my social self esteem is super low, even if i know i'm charming and whatnot. the only places i frequent is my workplace and my home (supermarket and mall is irrelevant here).

i used to be able to fap the pain away - i'd still be bitter but i didn't have the energy to care about sex or relationships, but these days it only relieves my pain for a few minutes instead of 1 day.

i see at least 10 super hot girls (disregarding the very few times i see a hot guy or other gender) every day and my closest coworker is super hot. it's exhausting.

my sexual abstinence results in irritation, confusion, muscular tension, testicular pain, abdominal pain, low appetite, reduced self-confidence, reduced motivation to live, sexual obsessions and yeah, just being depressed and bitter in general.

i'd patronise sex workers but it's illegal here (being caught is a real risk) and my social phobia would make sex-for-money very very awkward too.

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I'm going through the exact same phase now. Although for me its less about sex, and more about other stuff like cuddling, having someone to go out with, etc.



I get depressed every time I see couples and think about how much fun they're having. The pain seems to subside when I don't see them and instead focus on other stuff (eg: gaming).



I think part of it comes from feeling like you're missing out on something. You feel as though other people are having more fun than you are. I think one way to get over it is to do something really exciting where you feel like you're being fulfilled and having more fun that other people. That will definitely help with the depression.



Pick up a really exciting hobby like airsoft, paintball or ATV racing
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