How to not be bitter and depressed from celibacy? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 34 (permalink) Old 06-29-2019, 03:54 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Well you could look at the dark side of the web & melt your eyeballs at the true colors of human nature, or look up how we're raping the planet everyday, that might make celibacy seem not so bad
i appreciate this kind of input - no worries blue2.

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I think that's why some people get ashamed or embarrassed about sex, they're ashamed what they're capable of liking in the moment.
that's what it is.

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Originally Posted by Not Human View Post
If you think you can no way get what you want. I will suggest you something. Watch some autopsy videos.Watch how the human body is dissected and the organs are taken out for examination. You might find it weird. But I can tell you;it will give you a different perspective of life.I know it worked for some people. You might go through the same experience, who knows.
i used to do that in my younger years , but not too distract myself from horniness, just out of curiosity.

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Originally Posted by deetzy View Post
Someone booty called you so what is that you did to make them want to?

Were you laying in bed frozen out of anxiety/fear or what?
1. being a cool-looking alt kid, being funny, being smart, nice smile - something like that?

2. yes immense SA.

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What is your age and where do you live?
huh


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So much time wasted trying to make human connections.
yup.

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. We can grow over our needs, you just need to practise your brains.
teach me.


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Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
I thought you were a virgin but then you mentioned having sex before so.. why can’t you do what you did then to get sex from women?
don't really have a social circle other than work, and just SA in general. i do have SA during sex as well but it's a lot milder than the SA of finding a sex partner.

probably harder too now that i've realised i'm trans tho i'll definitely pretend to be a man when my desperation becomes unstoppable.


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Originally Posted by Reverie101 View Post
well I think the best way to see celibacy as something positive is to look at the cons. When you have sex a lot it can become very addicting, also with celibacy you avoid heart break-- when ever I read,see or hear about a trash asx relationship I thank my lucky stars I'm single, then the obvious...no stds.
There's no greater regret than knowing you've cut your own life short by chasing tail.

look on the bright side.
it's good advice. the addictive aspect is very real for me. one taste and i'm hooked. even had a coworker sadistically joking she'd come on to me, after i told her i was super horny. when she said that, i started coming on to her (i knew she's taken) and now i'm exerting myself to back down.

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Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave View Post
I think (probably) you are going to be bitter if you want to be bitter. If you think you don't want to be bitter but still are, you probably have the issue of conflicting forces working inside where there is a lot more of you that wants to be bitter than there is that doesn't. Like maybe it's analogous to the person who doesn't want to be overweight but really loves to eat and really hates to diet and exercise.
yeah that's definitely a part of it. acceptance and all that.
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post #22 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:25 AM
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1. being a cool-looking alt kid, being funny, being smart, nice smile - something like that?

2. yes immense SA.


1. Well then there you go!
2. Therapy helps and there are all different types of it. You can see which one works the best for you.

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
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post #23 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 10:43 AM
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Seems like it falls along with other threads saying "SA is not allowing me to do what I want". How do you cure SA? I don't know, but we have threads galore dedicated to this secret of the universe : D

You have fetishes, right? If it's sex in particular that makes your SA spike, maybe meeting people specifically to exercise a fetish (e.g. spanking), without sex, could work as a stepping stone?

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post #24 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-07-2019, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Seems like it falls along with other threads saying "SA is not allowing me to do what I want". How do you cure SA? I don't know, but we have threads galore dedicated to this secret of the universe : D

You have fetishes, right? If it's sex in particular that makes your SA spike, maybe meeting people specifically to exercise a fetish (e.g. spanking), without sex, could work as a stepping stone?
In a way, yes, it's one of those threads.

I think meeting people just to live out fetishes could work, but it's still really intimate... Maybe
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post #25 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 01:39 PM
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Focus on all the good things about being single. You can do what you like/don't have to answer to anyone/have loads of freedom/not be tied down/have the freedom to explore options.


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post #26 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-08-2019, 09:23 PM Thread Starter
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Focus on all the good things about being single. You can do what you like/don't have to answer to anyone/have loads of freedom/not be tied down/have the freedom to explore options.
Thank you Glacier Lad
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post #27 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 12:20 AM
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how do I get rid of this bitterness and depression? i just want my ego to disappear.

masturbation barely relieves my celibacy-caused-depression.

when someone talks about sex i feel like they stabbed my soul with a knife. the pain is intense for a few minutes and then lingers for 1-2 days afterwards. and if someone mentions sex again during that window of 1-2 days, the wound is torn open again and the pain comes back.
it hurts so much because i can imagine the person having sex if they mention something sexual, which also makes me incredibly horny if that person is attractive to me.

i want to be more sociable but i'm terrified of humans and i know most people aren't my type (even friendwise), so how am i supposed to even get close to a situation where they want to have sex with me?

there was this one time where an acquaintance booty called me but i couldn't do anything. i went over to her house and just laid in her bed like a frozen fish stick. she then got disappointed and got out of bed.

i don't know how to meet new people, my social self esteem is super low, even if i know i'm charming and whatnot. the only places i frequent is my workplace and my home (supermarket and mall is irrelevant here).

i used to be able to fap the pain away - i'd still be bitter but i didn't have the energy to care about sex or relationships, but these days it only relieves my pain for a few minutes instead of 1 day.

i see at least 10 super hot girls (disregarding the very few times i see a hot guy or other gender) every day and my closest coworker is super hot. it's exhausting.

my sexual abstinence results in irritation, confusion, muscular tension, testicular pain, abdominal pain, low appetite, reduced self-confidence, reduced motivation to live, sexual obsessions and yeah, just being depressed and bitter in general.

i'd patronise sex workers but it's illegal here (being caught is a real risk) and my social phobia would make sex-for-money very very awkward too.

5467890poiuygfdsafghjkljhgfdfgkpåoiuyrfdsafgvhb

I'm going through the exact same phase now. Although for me its less about sex, and more about other stuff like cuddling, having someone to go out with, etc.



I get depressed every time I see couples and think about how much fun they're having. The pain seems to subside when I don't see them and instead focus on other stuff (eg: gaming).



I think part of it comes from feeling like you're missing out on something. You feel as though other people are having more fun than you are. I think one way to get over it is to do something really exciting where you feel like you're being fulfilled and having more fun that other people. That will definitely help with the depression.



Pick up a really exciting hobby like airsoft, paintball or ATV racing
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post #28 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-17-2019, 11:54 AM
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teach me.


I have been gone but I am back. Do you want brutal techniques or do you want something what ables you to get back into thing if needed?

No, I don't speak English and that is a secret of my happiness!
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post #29 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 08:40 AM Thread Starter
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I'm going through the exact same phase now. Although for me its less about sex, and more about other stuff like cuddling, having someone to go out with, etc.

I get depressed every time I see couples and think about how much fun they're having. The pain seems to subside when I don't see them and instead focus on other stuff (eg: gaming).

I think part of it comes from feeling like you're missing out on something. You feel as though other people are having more fun than you are. I think one way to get over it is to do something really exciting where you feel like you're being fulfilled and having more fun that other people. That will definitely help with the depression.

Pick up a really exciting hobby like airsoft, paintball or ATV racing
for me it feels like that ,definitely. but it's more about missing a dimension of reality. i realise all circumstances/activities are dimensions of reality, but sex/romance is such a basic/natural thing for humans, there's no technology or equipment involved, just our bodies and feelings. it's like i've never eaten chocolate and am physically unable to, because i'm severely allergic.

for me, sex and romance are interlocked, i can't see one without the other (but i might just be deluding myself here).

i've been wanting to do paintball for years and years, but i have GAD and SA and no friends and GAD and heavy introversion and GAD. i didn't even do it when i had friends.

but yeah it's basically true: thoughts are just thoughts , and if you distract yourself well enough, the thoughts disappear. lol. thus we have now learned the lesson that sorrow is all in your head.

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I have been gone but I am back. Do you want brutal techniques or do you want something what ables you to get back into thing if needed?
PM me, if anything i will at least get some insights from you.
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post #30 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-25-2019, 03:29 PM
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PM me, if anything i will at least get some insights from you.
I did, don't create a monster.

No, I don't speak English and that is a secret of my happiness!
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post #31 of 34 (permalink) Old 07-29-2019, 01:38 PM
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how do I get rid of this bitterness and depression? i just want my ego to disappear.

masturbation barely relieves my celibacy-caused-depression.

5467890poiuygfdsafghjkljhgfdfgkpåoiuyrfdsafgvhb
The only solution I can think of.

100 to 200 mg per day should greatly reduce your sexual interest.
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post #32 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 12:30 PM
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Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
I thought you were a virgin but then you mentioned having sex before so.. why can’t you do what you did then to get sex from women?

I’m not into celibacy but I’m also not the relationship type. I learned that again and again. I suck at bonding with people. I can’t relate to most people either. Finding girls on Tinder is easy though so I just stick with that for my sex drive. Unfortunately, everyone is anxious these days so hooking up is getting popular. I masturbate most of the time out of pure sexual passion that’s pent up inside of me but when I feel lonely or unbearably horny i’ll look for girls on Tinder and Meet Me.

Sometimes, we just have to be realistic and acknowledge the truth about ourselves.
Hmm yeah I noticed you and this other guy I was chatting with that ya'll just casual sexers which definitely messes up with my emotional status and I ain't interested in being in a hurricane with anyone just to relieve themselves sexually frustrations. I might have been doing that in 2015 but alot has happened since then and I ain't the same bull****ter. Ya'll casual sexers don't even care to realize how females are much different in emotion when it comes to ****ing around. At least I know it's true for me. When I find someone he's mine, if he's a casual sexer he might as well **** his dog and his cat and his mother and his sister and her brother! But don't **** with me.

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post #33 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 01:02 PM
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I got used to never have sex a couple of years ago. I just made the click in my head that it is never going to happen so it ended. Before that I was very frustrated just like you. Perhaps in a few years your opinion of it will change too...
As far as frustrations in my life sex is absolutely the least of my concerns. Which doesn't mean I'm never horny, all it takes is to see some female skin but I don't get frustrated anymore as casual sex at my age doesn't exist. It's something for teens. Hooking up with a girl in your 30s is never casual, it's the start of a relationship and I will never ever want a relationship, that sounds like hell to me.
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post #34 of 34 (permalink) Old 08-03-2019, 09:46 PM
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keep trying until you are no longer celibate.
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