How to make connections when they have baggage? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-01-2019, 08:48 PM Thread Starter
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How to make connections when they have lingering feelings??


I feel this is an underrated aspect of trying to make connections with people, be it a friend or a romantic interest.

I don't have much personal experience with this at all, but from the outside looking in at other people, whether it be in fiction, real life people I know or other real life people on the internet...it seems that a major pitfall you might encounter when being evaluated for being taken in as part of their life, is if they have baggage or not.

Now, when I say baggage, I don't mean a health issue they might be having...or they are dealing with general depression...or they have a have busy university or career schedule. What I'm talking about is that they have someone or multiple someones from their past (or maybe even current life) that they have a strong lingering affection for, whether their relationship ended postively or negatively.

It seems when someone has this type of baggage (I know...take a drink right) it tends to block another person from entering their life in any meaningful way.

I've dealt with this a few times and it has added on to my frustrations with being unable to make a connection, when they're being influenced by someone you don't know, probably never will...and likely aren't even involved with this person in any sort now.

How can you break through if you have everything set in place to form a relationship...no baggage, no lingering affection...but a phantom of the past in this person's life (or present) is there to stop it from happening?

I don't care if it's dangerous or not...I'm going to town either way.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-01-2019, 10:06 PM
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I thought you were talking about an airport. I was all ready to tell you that baggage is not an issue when making airplane connections.
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-01-2019, 10:42 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by komorikun View Post
I thought you were talking about an airport.
AmDrag fact: He has never been to an airport.

Okay...the thread title is a bit more ambiguous than I thought. I'll try to come up with something less so.


Nevermind, can't edit title. Such a weird thing to have when you can do it on other message boards...

I don't care if it's dangerous or not...I'm going to town either way.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2019, 05:34 AM
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Yeah I don't think there's anything you can do. Having had crushes I can't imagine having a relationship while having unrequited feelings or something similar for someone else. It really does just occupy most of your mental thoughts like OCD. Have to get over it first somehow.

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