How to cope with sadness - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-10-2020, 02:47 AM Thread Starter
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How to cope with sadness


Iím gonna sum things up quickly. I have to vent sorry..

Lately, Iíve been sentimental and sad about a lot in life. Not only has this year brought struggle to others but my personal life has also been changed tremendously.

My brother moved out of my momís house to live with his girlfriend. He started seeing her in March and since then they really grew on each other. Whearas I slept with like 5 different girls since then. I always started talking to them with the intention of being in a relationship but it always ends badly for me. Iím now seeing a different girl and even though she isnít the type i normally go for, I feel really comfortable around her more than Iíve ever ever felt around any other girl. The other night she was talking about how men use her sexually and doesnít want me to be like that. I donít know what came over me but when she started crying, I cried too. Ive never cried in front of a woman as Iíve always felt like nothing really mattered to me. However, our relationship is strange. Weíre monagomous but for the most part all we ever do is have long conversations, get high and sleep together. We donít go out anywhere. But i shared parts of me with her that i never share with anyone.

And since my brother moved out, Iíve been getting high often and drinking often because it makes my sadness subside. I miss him. I feel like my life is empty and void of fun without him but I understand that he has to move on.. I feel like this girl came into my life just in time. Ive been spending more time with her since heís been gone. I miss the days where we were both single and living with my mom. Now Iím gonna be 30 next month and still have not found someone to marry.. my brother is younger than me but he already moved out. I feel a mix of jealousy and sadness.. Iím jealous that heís loved and in love whereas ive never been in love. Iím jealous that heís living my dream life and Iím still living at home. But Iím sad that our days of goofing around and playing ps4 are over. He was my best friend. I just want my brother back.. Iíd take back my love life if things could go back to the way they used to be.

Also, I got fired from my job which is depressing because I tried so hard to stick it out but the tasks were so hard and I couldnít hold on. It was inevitable.. now Iím trying to get unemployment benefits and putting apps.

On top of that, my health isnít so good either. Ive been passing kidney stones and need dental care.

All of this together makes me wish I was a child again and my brother was with me. I wish it was 2001 and we were just kids. I donít want this life.. my future is bleak. I understand our life can only be as good as we allow it to be and that we are in charge but Iím weak. Thereís a lot in life that I canít do.. I look for every escape I can find these days including sleep.

Also, it might not be a big deal but my pet rabbit died a few days ago and it really put me in a depression. Life is changing and falling apart all around me and I feel trapped and chained. I want out.. I want my life to get better or I donít want it at all.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-11-2020, 09:48 PM
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I have a horrible relationship with my sister and non-existent for many years, so I guess be happy that you had a close relationship with your brother back then. I really think with risk of sounding bias, that women are destroyers of a lot when they decide to settle down with a guy. That guy's past life seems to evaporate once their new relationship starts, or at least it does after some time. With that new woman, if it seems if she is not your normal type or it seems strange somehow, I am guessing you won't be with her long-term, unfortunately. I imagine if you are nuts about someone, you would know it pretty instantly. At the same time, I could be wrong, if you like her, I don't see any need to break it off. I am older now and kind of washed up, and no friends or women in my life for a very long time. I slept with a few women in a short period of time at one point and i know what you mean, it is not satisfying. Still to be with 5 women in that short a period of time to me is pretty amazing. At least you had that intimacy with them, as short-lived as it ended up being.

I have so little faith in people and relationships lasting that I wouldn't be surprised if your brother and his girlfriend end up fighting and him moving out eventually. For all we know, him and his girlfriend are temporary and before you know it you could hang with him again.

I wouldn't even worry about trying to get married, or at least not think of that as the end goal. If that many women were willing to be with you in that short a period of time, you are miles ahead of me and probably a lot of other people on this site. That girl you are seeing, I guess for now hold onto her for dear life, even if she isn't maybe perfect. I am so desperate that it is really whatever I can get now. Looks or personality are not anything I could be picky about right now

Anyway sorry about your rabbit, without my cat, i don't know what i would do, i often feel like i can relate better to her than any human being
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-12-2020, 03:37 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Disheveled and Lost View Post
I have a horrible relationship with my sister and non-existent for many years, so I guess be happy that you had a close relationship with your brother back then. I really think with risk of sounding bias, that women are destroyers of a lot when they decide to settle down with a guy. That guy's past life seems to evaporate once their new relationship starts, or at least it does after some time. With that new woman, if it seems if she is not your normal type or it seems strange somehow, I am guessing you won't be with her long-term, unfortunately. I imagine if you are nuts about someone, you would know it pretty instantly. At the same time, I could be wrong, if you like her, I don't see any need to break it off. I am older now and kind of washed up, and no friends or women in my life for a very long time. I slept with a few women in a short period of time at one point and i know what you mean, it is not satisfying. Still to be with 5 women in that short a period of time to me is pretty amazing. At least you had that intimacy with them, as short-lived as it ended up being.

I have so little faith in people and relationships lasting that I wouldn't be surprised if your brother and his girlfriend end up fighting and him moving out eventually. For all we know, him and his girlfriend are temporary and before you know it you could hang with him again.

I wouldn't even worry about trying to get married, or at least not think of that as the end goal. If that many women were willing to be with you in that short a period of time, you are miles ahead of me and probably a lot of other people on this site. That girl you are seeing, I guess for now hold onto her for dear life, even if she isn't maybe perfect. I am so desperate that it is really whatever I can get now. Looks or personality are not anything I could be picky about right now

Anyway sorry about your rabbit, without my cat, i don't know what i would do, i often feel like i can relate better to her than any human being
Thanks for your input man.

This year changed everything. Iíve become a different person than I ever was this year. And Iím sorry about your sister.. I never thought my brother would get a girlfriend and it surprised me because I always thought he was gonna single his whole life. I guess I got used to how life always was and I never bothered changing things because I donít like change unless itís for the better. So far this year has changed things for the worse.

Anyway, thanks for replying. I hope thereís a light at the end of this tunnel.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by findyourself View Post
Thanks for your input man.

This year changed everything. Iíve become a different person than I ever was this year. And Iím sorry about your sister.. I never thought my brother would get a girlfriend and it surprised me because I always thought he was gonna single his whole life. I guess I got used to how life always was and I never bothered changing things because I donít like change unless itís for the better. So far this year has changed things for the worse.

Anyway, thanks for replying. I hope thereís a light at the end of this tunnel.
No problem, thanks about my sister, with her it isn't really anything she ever said to me or about me, just the fact that she completely ignored me for our entire childhood and demanded to be the center of attention and blab nonstop while i was told to shut up. It is a weird psychological battle with her, I have avoided seeing her for about 6 years now, but she pretends to want a relationship with me and be upset, but all she wanted was to see me once or twice a year and text me once or twice a year. Would rather cut it off than let her think she has me some fake positive person in her life or support. She has enough people kissing her a** and I refuse to be one of them.

Well the last 5 years or so, i have become very bitter, a woman leaving me about 4 years ago combined with my best friend of 7 years ditching me about 9 years ago make me have no faith in people or desire to know anyone. I am so tired and run down i don't have the energy anyway. My point is, stuff going wrong can really change a person's demeanor or outlook, i am a very negative person with no patience now for years. I can be Mr. Happy Idiot with a smile on my face and embrace positivity, but how long can I keep up that BS? I am not really complaining, I am content on some level now to avoid people. The less energy i put into friendships or relationships the better, this way when it doesn't work out i can say i didn't invest too much
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 09-30-2020, 11:05 PM
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Iím seeing someone that I donít normally go for too. Sometimes I canít tell if Iím settling and could do better or if sheís a godsend to me. And donít feel bad about health issues because I have some too unfortunately. I used to be healthy too but for the most part Iíve always had things I need to work on. Mentally and physically.
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