How people react when you don't talk enough - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 08:54 AM Thread Starter
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How people react when you don't talk enough


I don't know how many times I have been hanging out with people that I don't really know, trying to make some new friends and have a good time, when people say things like:
"Wow, you don't talk very much, talk more."
"What, are you shy or something?"
"This girl over here won't shut up! Stop talking so much" (sarcasm, of course)

It really pisses me off, because they are just making the situation worse. Why do people feel so threatened by this? Usually people say stuff like this to me just when I am having fun and actually feeling like I am talking more than I normally would. I am feeling proud and they go and completely ruin it and make it impossible for me to say another word.

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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 09:11 AM
 
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


Yeah I can relate to this, the sarcastic comment especially rings a few bells for me. I guess they arent being nasty, it's just they're a little bit insensitive and think that by making a joke of it or by bringing it to your attention that will somehow get you to open up. Of course it just makes it worse.
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 12:39 PM
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


Yeah my doctor said that to me one time. Something about stop talking so much. He got a good laugh out of it.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 12:41 PM
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


I hate the phrase 'why you so quiet' DUH, what's your business anyways!

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Misunderstanding all you see
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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 12:57 PM
 
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


I HATE it when people do this. It only makes the situation worse for me. And I especially hate when people ask WHY I am so quiet. How the hell am I supposed to respond to that?
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 01:22 PM
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


It's just a dumb thing social people say because they feel unsure about quiet people.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 02:29 PM
 
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


Most 'normal' people think this crap will bring you out of your shell it doesn't occur to them what pratts we think they are!
My tutor picked me out the other day as I was sat at the back in a lecture, the whole class had to 'psst!' with their teeth! (don't ask ) So about 60 people turned to look at me 'psst!' and then he says "I can't hear you, Louder!" so I had to do it about three times! I was so embarrased! That is the worst thing you can do to someone shy/anxious, you just get defensive and I wanted to flatten him!
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 03:13 PM
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


Yeah, I know exactly how you feel. It's kind of hard to believe that there are people out there who have so little self-awareness that they don't realize how rude those sorts of comments are. Not to sound overly cynical or anything, but I think maybe some people just see an easy target and enjoy having the opportunity to embarrass someone. Maybe it makes them feel better about themselves, like singling you out somehow makes them feel closer to the rest of the group.

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. - Oscar Wilde
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 10-02-2008, 06:42 PM
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Re: How people react when you don't talk enough


Ditto, quietgal.
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