How do you respond when someone? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 09:10 PM Thread Starter
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How do you respond when someone?


Is being a jerk, a hole to you or just snaps at you? Do you freeze up? Do you pause and dont say anything cause you dont know how to respond? Get stunned?



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post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 09:43 PM
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It depends on my mood that day. Sometimes I snap back at them. Other times my mind goes blank and I freeze up. I have anger issues though (because I'm petty and stuff) so I usually keep that jerk in mind and slap them back the next time they try to treat me like dirt.
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post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-14-2020, 11:38 PM
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id harbour it


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post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 06:25 AM Thread Starter
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harbour as in keep a grudge? for how long?

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post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 04:12 PM
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Depends who the person is. If its someone close to me Id talk about it. Like why would you think thats okay to do with me? I work in a rehab hospital so if it was a patient Id be like "ok I need to back off." If it was some random person of the street Id try to get as far away from them lol
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post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 04:35 PM
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Depends who the person is. If its someone close to me Id talk about it. Like why would you think thats okay to do with me? I work in a rehab hospital so if it was a patient Id be like "ok I need to back off." If it was some random person of the street Id try to get as far away from them lol
That's fantastic you work in a rehab hospital - I wish I could do that. I defintely wouldn't have the patience for it though.

It sounds like you have quite an even temperament, that's great.
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post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 05:36 PM Thread Starter
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Depends who the person is. If its someone close to me Id talk about it. Like why would you think thats okay to do with me? I work in a rehab hospital so if it was a patient Id be like "ok I need to back off." If it was some random person of the street Id try to get as far away from them lol
yeah anybody thats random i just assume mental illness and get as much distamce as possible no matter what they look like

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post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-15-2020, 05:45 PM
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Hardly ever happens anymore. I don't give people opportunities like that if I can help it. I'm pretty cynical about people in general so I just kind of expect that the more you "put yourself out there" the more jerks you'll meet.

But it depends kind of on where you are and what you're doing too. Competitive environments tend to promote a-holery. So, for example, most of the time if I leave the house, I go to get groceries at the same stores. I know what hours those stores are busiest and avoid them. When they aren't busy, you're not competing for everything so it's less stress on everyone. If I see someone who gives me "bad vibes" no matter where I am, I avoid them if possible. I exit any situation that seems to be going awry if it's at all possible. So I'm pretty much able to avoid this stuff for now. Which is good because I really don't need it.
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post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 03:43 PM
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That's fantastic you work in a rehab hospital - I wish I could do that. I defintely wouldn't have the patience for it though.

It sounds like you have quite an even temperament, that's great.
Yeah I hear that I am very patient quite often. I have that going for me at least :')
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post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 03:46 PM
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post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-16-2020, 10:06 PM
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I would hate them but act like it was nothing.
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post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 08:24 AM
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harbour as in keep a grudge? for how long?

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not sure lol. but if it's a stranger I would probably just avoid them and walk away since I don't know what they might do.

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post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 03:00 PM
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Yeah I hear that I am very patient quite often. I have that going for me at least :')
I've been thinking I'd like to do a Masters of Counselling for ages - but then I remember what I'm like and think it's probably not such a great idea. Even just reading the course structure triggered me a bit - I really need to get a new psychiatrist. <a href="http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/images/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" border="0" alt="" title="" >:-)</a>
Yeah the fact that I even made it to this stage is huge, considering I'd panic for like 30 mins in the parking lot before a volunteering gig lol. But I've always been good with school, its dealing with people that was hard. It still is but the longer I do it for the more natural it feels.
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post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-17-2020, 03:11 PM
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Yeah the fact that I even made it to this stage is huge, considering I'd panic for like 30 mins in the parking lot before a volunteering gig lol. But I've always been good with school, its dealing with people that was hard. It still is but the longer I do it for the more natural it feels.
I think that's wonderful you can do that. I have a friend that would have to stop and be sick on her way to her new job. Unbelievable.

I just worry about my instability - plus my anxiety too of course. I can get upset seeing certain things on TV and get so angry I have to turn it off. (for example) Or hearing about things will make me very upset. I really don't see how I could be around people consistently anymore - but I really wish I could. I get very bored and quite lonely.
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post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-19-2020, 07:43 PM
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Adjust my glasses and walk away in slow motion.

Nah.


Find a place and a time to talk about the issue.

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post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:00 AM
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My reactions are slow and I'm a calm person so I don't respond when someone is rude to me. I just walk away.

But I'm trying to be assertive and confront them on the spot.
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post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 12:15 AM
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post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-27-2020, 10:16 AM
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Depends on the situation.....I'd typically either ignore them or make eye contact for a few seconds, and then laugh at them.
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post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 04:43 PM
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post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 01-28-2020, 10:28 PM
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Hardly ever happens anymore. I don't give people opportunities like that if I can help it. I'm pretty cynical about people in general so I just kind of expect that the more you "put yourself out there" the more jerks you'll meet.

But it depends kind of on where you are and what you're doing too. Competitive environments tend to promote a-holery. So, for example, most of the time if I leave the house, I go to get groceries at the same stores. I know what hours those stores are busiest and avoid them. When they aren't busy, you're not competing for everything so it's less stress on everyone. If I see someone who gives me "bad vibes" no matter where I am, I avoid them if possible. I exit any situation that seems to be going awry if it's at all possible. So I'm pretty much able to avoid this stuff for now. Which is good because I really don't need it.
I avoid people at the busiest times to such an extreme it is unbelievable. I try to only be out from 10AM-11:30AM or so to avoid schoolkids and most residents. Then i try to be out from 1PM-2PM if possible to avoid schoolkids also. Basically there is a ghetto school in my area with kids who want money for their "basketball team" and there is another private school with are arrogant elitist wise-a** kids. Also, i am a single guy walking around alone and look pretty creepy, so I don't want to be out anyway when their are kids around to set off any kind of alarms, despite me doing nothing wrong. I then try to never be out after 4Pm at which time the yuppie residents wearing suits start piling off the train coming from work who think i am homeless or a nutcase or God knows what. I will go to sports games all the time which are night games, but other than that, I structure every day around avoiding crowds.

I try to avoid and block everyone out as much as I can, but it doesn't always work. i get a ton of bad vibes from so many people and it is exhausting and maddening. I also avoid pretty much all pizzaria and fast food places because so many poorer people or inner city kids go there and curse and start trouble. I never eat out anyway, but I also can't stand the nicer restaurants where i am under-dressed with all the yuppies. So yea I pretty much avoid everything and anything and everyone
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