Lmao, I'm the same with getting up x].
The older I get, the more clearer things become, and the more depressed I get because of all the BS around me. Some days I just think "What are you doing? Really, what are you doing???.." To myself/family simultaneously because it feels so null. Not just for me, but for a lot of people, it feels like their whole life was setup for failure. :/
Most people don't seem to be cared for enough emotionally/financially by their family, and then if people say "it's because it's expensive" blahblahblah, then why have kids in the first place if you don't even have a house??? So many people forced to finish degrees they don't want to and stuff like that too, and ironically a lot of the time they don't land the prestigious job their parents wanted them to get from x STEM course lol.
It's really incredibly frustratingly difficult to see the "positives" of things when you're seemingly losing all the things you value which is basically where I'm at now. :/ I'm worried about my health and passion atm.
I don't wanna exist