How do you cope with controlling parents??
As per the title, how do you cope with controlling parents??
I am a 37 year old guy, but have as much freedom as a 10 year old simply because I can't afford to move out.
My dad isn't really much of a problem, except for his constant mood swings and temper which means he'll fly off the handle for the smallest reason, at literally anything, any time of day.
My mother on the other hand is an absolute power hungry controlling nightmare. She opens my postal mail and parcels. She tracks my phone whenever I leave the house (and goes mental if I disable the tracking software). She will read my messages on phones/tablets/pc if she gets the chance and ive left one laying around and turned on, even if im going to the toilet. She demands to know where im going all the time, who im seeing. Who am I talking too on my phone, or what am I looking at on it (or tablet). My pc is positioned in the main room in the house and she sits so she can see the screen whenever she wants to see what im doing. I have to eat what she cooks, otherwise go without, but im not allowed to make anything new, and im not allowed to use the cooker if she has already used it in the day on any day. If she wants something doing, I have to do it immediately and stop whatever im doing, if not im the bad guy and get shouted at. She will hardly do anything for herself. I have to make cups of tea on command, pull the curtains closed, plug in her electronics to charge, remember log in details for her, look up anything and everything online for her while she plays her games on her tablet. Im also not allowed to watch TV on the actual TV if she is home, as she apparently has priority, and if I try and watch anything through my pc I have to wear headphones or no sound at all, as it 'annoys her'.
And now she has retired, she almost NEVER leaves the house anymore, meaning I constantly have her watching me and moaning.
I feel like I literally have no freedom or peace of my own, My only escape is to work, where I get a whole load of new kinds of abuse off customers there. And she wonders why she has no friends, and literally noone wants anything to do with her.
Tonight I finally snapped and shouted at her that she just needed to do literally what was on the tv screen to log into an on demand player. It literally said go to a specific url, log into her account, and enter the code on the screen. She refused to do it herself. Then shouted at me because I didn't know her details. Then when I tried to log in I wasn't fast enough. So I told her to do it herself unless shes do f-ing stupid too, to which she started screaming at me to get out of her house, and how I always speak to HER like shes something someones stepped in, then had a massive strop and sat in complete silence behind me the rest of the night before stomping off to bed.
With all these covid restrictions, im reaching the end of my tether and I don't know what to do. I have very few friends. Most live a few hundred miles away, so I have noone to hang out with, noone to tell my problems too and noone would listen to me anyway. Mother hates the few friends I do have and is always belittling them, even when I was on a 'zoom' call to them she kept sniping in the background. Im not allowed to meet girls so have never had a relationship either, nor do I ever see myself having one anymore (particularly as im classed as morbedly obese). Work is literally the only time I see other people and have human contact.
I tried moving out once. I just barely managed to get by financially, but ended up falling out with my flatmate, things became very stressful and toxic, and had to move back home as had nowhere else to go. Now, I can't even afford the rent for a place on my own, let alone all the bills etc on top, and I no longer trust anyone else to try another house share. At this point, even a basement with privacy would be something nice to have. But because im not disabled, I don't qualify for any benefits. My work is only UK minimum wage, but I can't get anything better paying (either nothing available, or im not qualified).
I literally feel my life is in a rut I can't get out of, and im alone trying to tread water above the sea of problems and abuse on a daily basis.
As I said at the beginning..im 37..how do people cope with all this on their own at my age!?
And other than here, I have nowhere I can even post this, except among people ive never met and don't know me. I truly am alone.