How do you complete work when you can't envision a future for yourself? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:34 AM Thread Starter
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How do you complete work when you can't envision a future for yourself?


This is what happens every time I go back to university. I cannot motivate myself to do hard work. I can't envision myself living the typical life with a happy family and a 9-5 job, not with SA. Instead I'm faced with thoughts more along the lines of being a lonely working stiff who lives for his job and his job alone, and how can anyone be incentivized to put everything else on hold (including other aspects of life improvement) and buckle down and study when that is the road it ultimately leads to? The most carefree years of my life are passing me by because of anxiety and that's being compounded by knowing I need to study, yet not being able to muster up the motivation to do so.

I've already fallen behind for the semesters. I have assignments due which I still have yet to turn in. I have a rapidly approaching exam, of which I'm woefully behind on the material. So not only do I have to work hard and study, but I have to expend about 3x the effort over the next week that I would normally have to if I had kept up with my studies. And somehow I'm supposed to do that when I couldn't even find the energy to keep up with the traditional pace.

I take more delight in the thought of backpacking around the world and living as a vagabond than holding down a desk job, anyways. Maybe I'm just unrealistic and without wisdom here.

So, I ask again. How do you people get motivated when the future seems to offer so little?
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:40 AM
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This is what happens every time I go back to university. I cannot motivate myself to do hard work. I can't envision myself living the typical life with a happy family and a 9-5 job, not with SA. Instead I'm faced with thoughts more along the lines of being a lonely working stiff who lives for his job and his job alone, and how can anyone be incentivized to put everything else on hold (including other aspects of life improvement) and buckle down and study when that is the road it ultimately leads to? The most carefree years of my life are passing me by because of anxiety and that's being compounded by knowing I need to study, yet not being able to muster up the motivation to do so.

I've already fallen behind for the semesters. I have assignments due which I still have yet to turn in. I have a rapidly approaching exam, of which I'm woefully behind on the material. So not only do I have to work hard and study, but I have to expend about 3x the effort over the next week that I would normally have to if I had kept up with my studies. And somehow I'm supposed to do that when I couldn't even find the energy to keep up with the traditional pace.

I take more delight in the thought of backpacking around the world and living as a vagabond than holding down a desk job, anyways. Maybe I'm just unrealistic and without wisdom here.

So, I ask again. How do you people get motivated when the future seems to offer so little?
I just treat studying like a chore. You may hate every minute of it, but if you can get in a decent rhythm, it's not so bad.

Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stunned by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, "Hi." They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word.
― Augusten Burroughs
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:40 AM
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I see the life one of my older brother's has, and I want something like it. Granted, he never finished college, but his job isn't dead-end. He has a lovely house, pets, a wife he loves, a baby son, hobbies, friends; all things I crave. And what motivates me, is I don't wish to die before experiencing any of that. It will be extremely hard work, but I know the reward will be great, and I will try my hardest to achieve it.

"He's dying to get away, let the pain of yesterday go slipping through the cracks
Hiding himself away, watching all the memories fade away from red to black"
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:44 AM
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I was in the same situation not long ago, and i’m probably going back to school soon. I’m never sure how to motivate myself, and guess that living in independence without the need to leech off parents is what I want to work towards. Without much of a social life it does seem sort of bleak, but if I want any chance at one I need to work on a sustainable lifestyle. I’d like to try to just force myself to do the things I hate, and I may feel a tad better about myself after.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:44 AM
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you don't get motivated, you just force yourself to stay in the library until you finish your work. 'cause if you try to do it at home you're gonna get distracted by the tv and eggrolls and you'll find yourself taking pictures of yourself in a pile of stuffed animals at 3am when your essay is still sitting there begging to be put out of its misery

nobody exists on purpose. nobody belongs anywhere. everybody's gonna die ~~

If you like pina coladas and gettin caught in the rain, follow me on Twitter @audreytheworst . I never talk about pina coladas or rain. But surely you like other stuff. If you don't, get some other interests already, geez.
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:47 AM
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you don't get motivated, you just force yourself to stay in the library until you finish your work. 'cause if you try to do it at home you're gonna get distracted by the tv and eggrolls and you'll find yourself taking pictures of yourself in a pile of stuffed animals at 3am when your essay is still sitting there begging to be put out of its misery
Late night vanity, or insanity ?
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:48 AM
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you don't get motivated, you just force yourself to stay in the library until you finish your work.
There were times I genuinely enjoyed learning, but most of school was this. I didn't find motivation, I just did it, because my day planner said 'these hours are for school work." Also partly to not look like a fool if I got called on. Classroom anxiety can be a big motivator.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:49 AM Thread Starter
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It's comforting, in a way, that studying actually sucks as hard for everyone else as it does for me. Thanks guys!
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:50 AM
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I feel you mate, this was how a lot of my university experience was. The fact that you're at university is a great achievement, and you don't want to give that up.

I agree with gopherinferno, try working in the library, and give yourself regular breaks. Try working for 15 mins, then have a 5-10 min break. And make sure you have food and water with you. If you have headphones, put on some music that makes you feel good.
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:53 AM
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I will say though, that I've developed a bad habit of procrastination, which causes me anxiety, which causes me to get the work done. It's really not healthy, I hardly sleep well once school begins.

"He's dying to get away, let the pain of yesterday go slipping through the cracks
Hiding himself away, watching all the memories fade away from red to black"
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 09:54 AM
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Late night vanity, or insanity ?
absolutely both

nobody exists on purpose. nobody belongs anywhere. everybody's gonna die ~~

If you like pina coladas and gettin caught in the rain, follow me on Twitter @audreytheworst . I never talk about pina coladas or rain. But surely you like other stuff. If you don't, get some other interests already, geez.
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 10:00 AM
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When I was still in school, my main motivation was basically that things had to get done by a certain deadline. It wasn't that I had a particular interest or passion in learning or in a given subject, to be honest.

It's kind of the same thing with work for me. I know things need to get done by a certain time, and I do them well. I do think about moving up and progressing in my career, but at the same time I struggle envisioning how exactly I would do that. Things like how long it would take, how much I would have to network, how my SA might hold me back, etc.

At this stage in my life, I have to say it's more about earning a living than nailing down my passion. I don't really have a "plan" for how I see my career going, unfortunately.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 10:01 AM
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This is what happens every time I go back to university. I cannot motivate myself to do hard work. I can't envision myself living the typical life with a happy family and a 9-5 job, not with SA. Instead I'm faced with thoughts more along the lines of being a lonely working stiff who lives for his job and his job alone, and how can anyone be incentivized to put everything else on hold (including other aspects of life improvement) and buckle down and study when that is the road it ultimately leads to? The most carefree years of my life are passing me by because of anxiety and that's being compounded by knowing I need to study, yet not being able to muster up the motivation to do so.

I've already fallen behind for the semesters. I have assignments due which I still have yet to turn in. I have a rapidly approaching exam, of which I'm woefully behind on the material. So not only do I have to work hard and study, but I have to expend about 3x the effort over the next week that I would normally have to if I had kept up with my studies. And somehow I'm supposed to do that when I couldn't even find the energy to keep up with the traditional pace.

I take more delight in the thought of backpacking around the world and living as a vagabond than holding down a desk job, anyways. Maybe I'm just unrealistic and without wisdom here.

So, I ask again. How do you people get motivated when the future seems to offer so little?
This sounds really dreadful.

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.
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post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 09-13-2015, 10:08 AM
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I'm having the same problem actually. I have trouble concentrating when studying, I'm pretty sure I failed my last quiz because of it, and I wait until the last minute to do assignments. Even last year I wasn't this bad. I just can't find the will to even attempt to push myself anymore, which only adds to more thoughts of inadequacy. It sucks. I don't really have any advice, just thought I'd share at least.
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