How do I find out if I'm ugly, plain, or attractive. - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 06:22 PM
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In about 85% of my pictures I look pretty fugly. About 10% is decent. Maybe 5% with proper lighting and adequate distance I look better than normal. Out of the 5%, about 1% might actually make it online after strict scrutiny and minor editing.


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post #22 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 09:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex View Post
I have no idea if i'm attractive or not. I've been going to an all boy's school for my whole life (gr 12) now so I don't talk to any girls. My parents have complimented me and such but whose parent's havent? I have no idea what makes a male face attractive so I can't really look in the mirror and say for my self.

I posted pics of me online but the ratings varied drastically from picture to picture. They are all full frontal face shots so I don't know which pic represents the true me. Some pics got EXTREMELY high ratings and some got the average 5-6. Some even got 2s and 3s.

There's a few girls on my FB who are like that. In some pics they look gross, in some they look hot. Some look like their "hot pics" some look like their "ugly" pics IN REAL LIFE.

So how the hell do I find out if im ugly, cute, or plain? Don't say beauty is in the eye of the beholder or all that jazz. Yeah people may have different tastes but its not that subjective.

Should I get a bunch of guys, pay them $10 each to come to my house, get random girls, pay them $10 each to come to my house, and have the girls rate each of the guys privately? I will be one of the guys (girls won't know its my house) and I'll see what my ratings are.

WTF do I do. Not knowing if i'm ugly, cute, etc is the reason I have SA. It's the reason I'm always worried. Figuring out that I'm ugly (or maybe good looking) would be SOOOOO liberating.
I actually know how you are feeling. I did not go on a date until I was 20. I understand you are going to do this experiment and it may sound like a good idea but all experiments have to have a constant. The experiment is flawed. 20 girls may all think you are attractive or 20 girls may not. The guys you choose maybe all unattractive but hot to you. You see? I used to be all about that. I still struggle because of the media and how beauty is portrayed. There is not a standard like if you have dark hair you are good looking...some women like blondes. I think if you're pics got high ratings that it depends on your mood. That is a secret they don't tell you in modeling. I find men who are confident are more attractive even if they are unattractive. Hope this helps.
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post #23 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 10:53 PM Thread Starter
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I actually know how you are feeling. I did not go on a date until I was 20. I understand you are going to do this experiment and it may sound like a good idea but all experiments have to have a constant. The experiment is flawed. 20 girls may all think you are attractive or 20 girls may not. The guys you choose maybe all unattractive but hot to you. You see? I used to be all about that. I still struggle because of the media and how beauty is portrayed. There is not a standard like if you have dark hair you are good looking...some women like blondes. I think if you're pics got high ratings that it depends on your mood. That is a secret they don't tell you in modeling. I find men who are confident are more attractive even if they are unattractive. Hope this helps.
Of course there will be consent with the experiment, lol. Im going to be paying them and the males will ALL be aware that they are being rated.

Im getting a tinted window and sitting each male down. Each of the females, one by one, will rate the males. Two of the males will be plain, one very ugly, and one handsome


I know i sound crazy but you have no idea how much this is ruining my life's quality NO IDEA. ive never been unhappy and this "confusion" is eating me alive.

Everytime i talk to a girl i always wonder that she may be thinking "look at this guy, he actually thinks he has a shot with me! Ah i wish that ugly son of a ***** would leave, i dont even want to be seen with him!"

I know all girls arent that shallow but i cant help it.

If i turn out to be "damn ugly" ill accept it and move on and maybe date an ugly girl. But moving on without knowing is impossible. If i turn out to be plain, ill go after plain janes. And if i turn out to be cute, well then ill be a smiling mother****er.

So any situation is better than anxiously sitting there and being scared about what a girl thinks of your face.
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post #24 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-19-2012, 10:54 PM Thread Starter
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I actually know how you are feeling. I did not go on a date until I was 20. I understand you are going to do this experiment and it may sound like a good idea but all experiments have to have a constant. The experiment is flawed. 20 girls may all think you are attractive or 20 girls may not. The guys you choose maybe all unattractive but hot to you. You see? I used to be all about that. I still struggle because of the media and how beauty is portrayed. There is not a standard like if you have dark hair you are good looking...some women like blondes. I think if you're pics got high ratings that it depends on your mood. That is a secret they don't tell you in modeling. I find men who are confident are more attractive even if they are unattractive. Hope this helps.
Of course there will be consent with the experiment, lol. Im going to be paying them and the males will ALL be aware that they are being rated.

Im getting a tinted window and sitting each male down. Each of the females, one by one, will rate the males. Two of the males will be plain, one very ugly, and one handsome


I know i sound crazy but you have no idea how much this is ruining my life's quality NO IDEA. ive never been unhappy and this "confusion" is eating me alive.

Everytime i talk to a girl i always wonder that she may be thinking "look at this guy, he actually thinks he has a shot with me! Ah i wish that ugly son of a ***** would leave, i dont even want to be seen with him!"

I know all girls arent that shallow but i cant help it.

If i turn out to be "damn ugly" ill accept it and move on and maybe date an ugly girl. But moving on without knowing is impossible. If i turn out to be plain, ill go after plain janes. And if i turn out to be cute, well then ill be a smiling mother****er.

So any situation is better than anxiously sitting there and being scared about what a girl thinks of your face.
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post #25 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 09:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex View Post
Well
your attractive if
if girls have approached you and flirt with you
if girls have asked for your number
if you've had a girlfriends or flings without having to initiate the relationship yourself even if your too shy to approach girls they came to you anyway
girls out with friends laugh and giggle when your around

your unattractive if
girls don't want to talk to you
girls wont give you there number or give you a fake one
you get rejected most times you try to initiate a relationship
girls out with friends laugh and giggle when your around


note: "girls out with friends laugh and giggle when your around" appears in both lists as it can be due to either so this is not a deciding factor
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post #26 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 05:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Nada View Post
In about 85% of my pictures I look pretty fugly.
That sounds about par. At least 85% of cameras are evil and, thanks to cell phones, the number keeps growing.

When I was younger, I studied photography pretty seriously, and the way big-time commercial portraiture worked was this: Start with someone who's passably good-looking (and, really, you'd be surprised at how "ordinary" most models look), slap on a load of pancake, use a long lens and flattering lighting, then retouch the results. In the case of actors and politicians and other non-models, retouch the hell out of the results.

And this was in the bleach and paint days -- you can really go to town with computers now.

I see so many "Am I Ugly?" threads here, and most of them feature loads of terrible photos of damned nice looking folks...

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Originally Posted by hodd05 View Post
your attractive if
The key word here is "attractive." There are plenty of good-looking people who aren't attractive, and plenty of not-so-good-looking folks who are. It's devilishly easy to fall into the trap of conflating attractiveness with pulchritude.
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post #27 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 05:19 PM
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That sounds about par. At least 85% of cameras are evil and, thanks to cell phones, the number keeps growing.

When I was younger, I studied photography pretty seriously, and the way big-time commercial portraiture worked was this: Start with someone who's passably good-looking (and, really, you'd be surprised at how "ordinary" most models look), slap on a load of pancake, use a long lens and flattering lighting, then retouch the results. In the case of actors and politicians and other non-models, retouch the hell out of the results.

And this was in the bleach and paint days -- you can really go to town with computers now.

I see so many "Am I Ugly?" threads here, and most of them feature loads of terrible photos of damned nice looking folks...


The key word here is "attractive." There are plenty of good-looking people who aren't attractive, and plenty of not-so-good-looking folks who are. It's devilishly easy to fall into the trap of conflating attractiveness with pulchritude.
whilst I agree that attractiveness should be defined by who we are and our actions/personality ect this isn't the reality and i was referring solely to looks which is the OPs question
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post #28 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 06:09 PM
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So I'm guessing it's possible to be both not-so-good-looking AND unattractive?

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post #29 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 08:22 PM
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Post a full frontal 800x600 pic here. We'll let you know in 2 days.
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post #30 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-26-2012, 08:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Alexestalex View Post
Photos do lie. I'm not kidding, I have around 10 photos of me (once again, full frontal shots taken with a good camera) where I am attractive. No matter who I ask, be it a teen dating forum or whatever, people say i'm cute. I even posted them on a dating site and actually got responses from real girls.

Then I have photos where I am super plain looking.

And then I have photos where I am genuinely considered ugly.

I'm really not sure which shows the real me. My cousin told me last year that I look very different in photos but keep in mind, I look different between the ATTRACTIVE pictures as well. I don't look like the same person in all my "good" pics. Plus, when she told me that, all my photos on facebook were taken by a crappy 2 megapixel camera so of course I'd look different. I use 10mp minimum now for my fb photos.

I don't know. I was sitting with my cousin and her friends and one girl whispered to my cousin that I look like the person my cousin has a crush on.

I went to a dance once (first time) and a random girl came up and started grinding with me for 20 seconds. Then she just left. I don't know, maybe i make it awkward because i didn't really know how to respond.

At the same dance, a group of girls I didnt know grabbed me by the t-shirt and brought me into a big circle where a few of them grinded with me.

I still don't know. I wish I could just friggin found out.
Haha that actually reminds me of this one time, about a year or two ago when that happenend to me. I was pretty drunk and this hot Latino chick was grinding on me for like an hour. I was pretty damn happy at that point until the place stopped playing music cus they were closing and my anxiety hit me like right hook. Not knowing what to do I introduced myself with the good ole handshake.

*facepalm* even though it is quite funny thinking about it afterwards.
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post #31 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-27-2012, 01:46 PM
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So I'm guessing it's possible to be both not-so-good-looking AND unattractive?
Oh yeah.

That raises the question of whether it's worse to be good-looking and unattractive, or homely and unattractive. At least with the latter you get some sympathy.

Those are the mental gymnastics I use to delude myself that I am one seriously handsome guy.
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post #32 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-27-2012, 02:48 PM
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post a pic already
one fugly. one normal. one attractive
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post #33 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 07:41 PM
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i just want you guys to rate this foto of mine from 1 to 10, i want to know if i'm attractive or not
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post #34 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 08:02 PM
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The way I see it :

It's just an opinion, you can have your own opinion of your own looks ( and it'll most likely be biased as **** ) but you can try your best to have an honest opinion.

Regardless, other people will have diffirent opinions, maybe you're just not someone's type or maybe they just have diffirent taste, but to some people you could be drop-dead gorgeous and to others you could the most ugly ****er out there. It's all opinions

So... my own opinion of my look is that I'm sorta average lookin', I don't have any overly ugly features or nuffin I don't think but there's definately alot of better lookin meat out there.

But again... this is my opinion, someone else could disagree and think I'm way uglier or way better lookin... so I don't try to stress about what opinion is held by the majority or something cause I'll never find out anyway... and it doesn't even matter what people think I look like. /end rant

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post #35 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 11:13 PM Thread Starter
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The way I see it :

It's just an opinion, you can have your own opinion of your own looks ( and it'll most likely be biased as **** ) but you can try your best to have an honest opinion.

Regardless, other people will have diffirent opinions, maybe you're just not someone's type or maybe they just have diffirent taste, but to some people you could be drop-dead gorgeous and to others you could the most ugly ****er out there. It's all opinions

So... my own opinion of my look is that I'm sorta average lookin', I don't have any overly ugly features or nuffin I don't think but there's definately alot of better lookin meat out there.

But again... this is my opinion, someone else could disagree and think I'm way uglier or way better lookin... so I don't try to stress about what opinion is held by the majority or something cause I'll never find out anyway... and it doesn't even matter what people think I look like. /end rant
This thread was created almost a year ago. Since then things in my life have, fortunately, changed and I now see where I stand in the looks department.

of course it's based, to some extent, on opinion but not as much as most people assume. There are faces that people generally deem as attractive and faces that people generally deem as being unattractive. Brad Pitt's face, to most straight women of the female sex, is a face of HIGH attractiveness.
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post #36 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-28-2012, 11:58 PM
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oops year old thread
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post #37 of 46 (permalink) Old 12-29-2012, 01:24 AM
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i just want you guys to rate this foto of mine from 1 to 10, i want to know if i'm attractive or not
8
I'd give you 10 but nobody's a 10, nobody's perfectttttt
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post #38 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-29-2013, 08:31 AM
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judge me. ugly or not?


i am an open minded feel free to leave your comments. just curious bout how i look.
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post #39 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-29-2013, 08:33 AM
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Post a pic here ill give u a serious opinion with no flattery
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post #40 of 46 (permalink) Old 03-29-2013, 08:55 AM
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My mom and dad keep telling me I'm "handsome" to which I get pissed off each and every time. If I were "handsome", I wouldn't be a 27 year old loner.
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