Have You Been Through This? - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 06:15 AM Thread Starter
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Have You Been Through This?


When you come across someone you know and they greet you (like saying, "Hi", "You alright, [your name]", "Alright"), you greet them back. But when YOU greet them first, they don't reciprocate and kind of brush you off and/or give you a "Why are you talking to me" look.

Another example.

They take interest in what you're doing and ask you about it, YOU start a conversation. But when YOU take interest in what they're doing and YOU ask about it, they just nod and/or say a few words.

I've been through all of them - and personally, the takeaway for me is that they only talk to you because 1) they got no one else to talk to and want to relieve themselves or 2) they don't want to be seen as a loner and you're a last resort or 3) you're just practice.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 06:26 AM
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Perhaps they have a few social issues just like us. Maybe you have caught them on a day when they don't feel up talking to someone. You never know what kind of day someone has had. I find thinking like this helps me to stop dwelling on such events and inventing things that are probably only in my head.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't as conscious as I am. It would be so much easier."
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 09-01-2019, 09:56 AM Thread Starter
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Maybe you have caught them on a day when they don't feel up talking to someone.

Ambiverts, perhaps. But extroverts? No. At least from experience.
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 10-15-2019, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strugglingintro View Post
When you come across someone you know and they greet you (like saying, "Hi", "You alright, [your name]", "Alright"), you greet them back. But when YOU greet them first, they don't reciprocate and kind of brush you off and/or give you a "Why are you talking to me" look.

Another example.

They take interest in what you're doing and ask you about it, YOU start a conversation. But when YOU take interest in what they're doing and YOU ask about it, they just nod and/or say a few words.

I've been through all of them - and personally, the takeaway for me is that they only talk to you because 1) they got no one else to talk to and want to relieve themselves or 2) they don't want to be seen as a loner and you're a last resort or 3) you're just practice.
I often get upset like you around stuff like this, but as someone else already said a lot of the difficulty starts with our biased and negative opinions of ourselves and others.

If someone doesn't say hi back or respond when you say something to them, there's a more than greater likelihood that they either didn't hear you, they're lost in their own thoughts, or they're just as awkward, if not more awkward, than you when it comes to greetings or social interactions.

But like I said before, it upsets me too sometimes — to the point that I usually tell them (in my head), "Oh, okay. Hello to you too, *****"; sometimes, when I'm having a really bad day, it squeaks out in person.

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