Graduation - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 10:21 PM Thread Starter
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Graduation


Yesterday was graduation. I was fine receiving my diploma and walking across the stage. No big deal for me.

The problems started once graduation was over. Class of 2009, celebrate! Everyone throws their hats and hugs each other, but I'm just standing there. "Just get me the hell out of here," I'm thinking. I walk around and shake hands with some people in a superficial way, just because I'm paranoid that my parents are watching me from a distance. I want to look like I'm socializing. I do this for about 5 minutes until my parents reach me. We take some pictures, and then everyone asks me if I want to walk around and take pictures with friends. "No, I'm fine," I say. And everyone looks at me weird, like I'm a freak. Everyone else is doing that, but not me. Because I don't really have any friends. Just a lot of people that I would consider acquaintances-- people that I say hi to in the hallway and sit next to in class. And sure, I could have walked up to them and asked to take a picture with them, but then I'd just feel lame and pathetic because that person would know that I was asking them out of desperation.

Man, I need to change before I get to college.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 11:03 PM
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My graduation is next Friday. I'm scared sure that my experience will be similiar. It amazes me how I've managed to grow up around the same people my whole life and have few connections. My school is very small and everyone knows eachother and I'm kind of the outsider. I'm simulatenously excited and scared for college; it's a chance to start over and hopefully change myself for the better but I'm terrified that it's just going to be highschool all over again.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 11:19 PM
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Heh my graduation was the worst. I took pictures only with my family, I saw one of my close friends and he just was happy as hell with his girlfriend and I guess he was so caught up in excitement we barely even talked. Everyone was with their friends hugging and crying and I was just standing there looking around to see if I found someone I knew that would at least say "grats man!". I didn't see anyone else. After that everyone went to parties, went out to dinner, or had a night filled with sex. What did I do? Went to mc donalds, bought some double cheese burgers....ate and then went to sleep. Yipee.

Edit: Oh and trust me if you go to college out of your city then it won't be like high school. I spent one year in a university out of my home town and things where much different. It was a break from reality, for a while I wanted to stay there forever. If you do stay in the same city and go to college there then some high school things may come up down the road. I live in a fairly small town (about 28,000 ppl) and only one community college so you see the people you saw at high school all the time.
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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-18-2009, 11:33 PM
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My college graduation was over two weeks ago, and it was definitely not a good experience for me. All the people earning their Bachelor's degree from a respective college within the university were seated together and such. We were in no order so when we walked across the stage, we just handed the woman a card with our name on it. Basically, we sort of got to line up on our own and 'choose' who we sat by during the ceremony and such. Definitely not exciting when you see everyone in like groups of 12 and such and you're sort of in a group of only 3 or 4.

The anxiety kicked in when it seemed like most everyone knew everyone else and was having a good old time just socializing before, during, and after the ceremony whereas a couple other guys and I just sort of were like, 'yea, this is cool' (side note: I have a younger brother at the same school who pretty much knows everyone and did a whole lot more socializing than me - I mention this because my parents and relatives had to point it out MULTIPLE times that afternoon).
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 12:06 AM
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Originally Posted by VivaLaVida View Post
(side note: I have a younger brother at the same school who pretty much knows everyone and did a whole lot more socializing than me - I mention this because my parents and relatives had to point it out MULTIPLE times that afternoon).
Thats pretty ghey. I hate when people point out things like these, as if we didn't feel bad enough with our problem.
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 05:45 PM
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Edit: Oh and trust me if you go to college out of your city then it won't be like high school. I spent one year in a university out of my home town and things where much different. It was a break from reality, for a while I wanted to stay there forever. If you do stay in the same city and go to college there then some high school things may come up down the road. I live in a fairly small town (about 28,000 ppl) and only one community college so you see the people you saw at high school all the time.
I'm so glad to hear that. I purposefully picked a school that is four hours away from my hometown. I live in a small town too and that was a major factor in my deciding to move so far away. I don't want to see anyone that will remind me of my life here.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 06:14 PM
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If you wanna change for college ( like i do ) then you gotta just go all out on the 1st day of class. I REMEMBER!!! in grade 3 i thought " theres no way im going to be like this in grade 7 " HA!!!!!!! still like that in grade 7. I remember before highschool some kid said to me " dont be shy in highschool, just talk " i thought i have to do it. NOPE!!! not changing myself for highschool has to be the worst thing ive ever done. holy GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to go to the after-grad parties, im going to be so dissapointed if i dont get invited to one in june
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 07:32 PM
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holy GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want to go to the after-grad parties, im going to be so dissapointed if i dont get invited to one in june
OH I know, I just want to be invited to one after party. JUST ONE! I don't want to graduate then go home and do nothing in my room.
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 08:03 PM
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Originally Posted by mre314 View Post
Yesterday was graduation. I was fine receiving my diploma and walking across the stage. No big deal for me.

The problems started once graduation was over. Class of 2009, celebrate! Everyone throws their hats and hugs each other, but I'm just standing there. "Just get me the hell out of here," I'm thinking. I walk around and shake hands with some people in a superficial way, just because I'm paranoid that my parents are watching me from a distance. I want to look like I'm socializing. I do this for about 5 minutes until my parents reach me. We take some pictures, and then everyone asks me if I want to walk around and take pictures with friends. "No, I'm fine," I say. And everyone looks at me weird, like I'm a freak. Everyone else is doing that, but not me. Because I don't really have any friends. Just a lot of people that I would consider acquaintances-- people that I say hi to in the hallway and sit next to in class. And sure, I could have walked up to them and asked to take a picture with them, but then I'd just feel lame and pathetic because that person would know that I was asking them out of desperation.

Man, I need to change before I get to college.
I don't remember a single person coming up to me to congratulate me last year at my high school graduation, instead I had to do come up to them. One person asked if she could get a picture with me. That was pretty much it. I went out to eat with my parents and I was not only not invited to parties but no one even bothered, and no one had my number to begin with. Makes me wonder why no one cared to ask for my number.
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 08:22 PM
 
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damn i never did get to graduate my sa was so bad i had to drop out of school because i couldnt stand it but i try not to look at the past and look at my life now free of sa because ive finally conquered it and i praise God for conquering it, i learned that if someone judges you harshly its no big deal. i still get anxious around people because im barely getting used to being free of sa after 6 years, but i look at it like who cares and i finally can live my life free
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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 08:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by mre314 View Post
Man, I need to change before I get to college.
mre, I wouldn't approach it this way. You, yourself, do not need to change...it's really just a matter of accepting yourself for how you are.

I understand where you're coming from about graduation. When I graduated high school four years ago, my anxiety was just beginning to onset. I don't remember taking pictures with anyone. At all. I had some friends but I was too anxious to take pictures with them and socialize.

But, by now, I've come to accept the fact that I'm not always going to be in a people mood. It's just who I am. And those that matter will accept that about you, as long as your accept it about yourself first.

Self-actualization is a long process. You're going to find out a lot about yourself when you get to college. You might even change as a person, completely. But accept it. All of it. Especially your anxiety. It's part of who you are (and it's part of me and everyone here, too.)
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 05-19-2009, 11:10 PM
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graduation was one of the best moments of my high school era. I admit i was scared outta my mind to walk down the isle in front of atleast 500 people but i wasn't as bad as i thought. After there was a little cracker/cheese/cake thing in the caf and we all took pictures and it was really cool. i felt almost no sa at all. then aften the picture taking we all hoped in my friends car and went to dennys where everyone was there. its kinda funny looking back on, i should have been nervous but for the first time around my peers i could chill and be myself. ahh good times.
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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 11:04 AM
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"Just get me the hell out of here," I'm thinking..
I always think that!

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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 11:17 AM
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I know how it feels like. Been to bachelors and masters graduations in the past and another one would be 2-3 years from now. I looked like a pathetic loser who doesn't have a friend and was so embarrassed by it during the convos. And not to mention having to deal with the question if i got a job already when the fact that i'm unemployed.

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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 02:08 PM
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I graduated in 2007 and I went to college for a bit only to realize I don't want to do anything in life.

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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 03-07-2013, 02:12 PM
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I always think that!
4 years later? Now is a great time to continue a thread about an event that happened in 2009. Thanks for the bump!
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