Getting called sad or weirdo for unknown reason - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-14-2020, 10:22 PM Thread Starter
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Getting called sad or weirdo for unknown reason


I was sometimes labelled as sad or a weirdo at school by a small number of people for some reason that is beyond me. I've always tried to fit in and seemed to have felt I did a pretty good job of it.

I had a group of about 10 friends at school so I wasn't exactly a loner.
I wasn't rude or disrespectful to people.
I wasn't into anything out of the ordinary in my culture. No goth or satanic stuff.
I wasn't the quiet psycho type. Never got angry at school pretty much ever.
I wasn't the type to blurt out offhand, creepy or weird stuff.
I wasn't slow or hyperactive or manic.
Many girls thought I was good looking. I just never spoke to them so most wrote me off as a stuck up a-hole rather than shy.
I never got called quiet or shy at school. I didn't talk or mix with people outside my group but in my school this was normal to stay within one's own social group and trying to join another group would usually create awkward uncomfortable vibes.
Many people saw me as funny or goofy cos I was a bit of a class clown.
I was bullied a fair bit by about 10 different guys throughout 13 years of my school life but this was mostly physical bullying and mainly because they realized I was unwilling to stand up for myself so thought it was fun to push me around or throw punches at me. They never did once call me quiet or weird or sad.

But no matter how normal I thought I was there was always a few people that would say I was either sad or a weirdo. These people were more of the popular socially aware type. They'd never bully or tease me but would look at me with one raised eyebrow as if I was some complete worthless loser to them and wanted nothing to do with me. I just don't get it. Wtf was I doing to make me stand out to them? I mean I never actually spoke or interacted with them so I don't get what I was doing wrong.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-15-2020, 01:50 AM
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Whatever it was you need to let it go. Not everyone is going to like you, and school is a cesspool. I can't remember how anyone thought of me in school cause I was oblivious to how I presented myself.
who you were in high school is NOT who you will be 5 or 10 years after.
You may have come across as weird or sad just by what you wear and how you carried yourself. I look at certain people and I think they're sad. For example, I was going somewhere one day and noticed a fat Asian guy with long hair driving down the road with his car detailed with an anime girl on the side. It was a good paint job but it was pretty pathetic. I thought he was sad, and I knew nothing about him or really even got a good look at him, he just had a sad, fat otaku vibe.

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 05-20-2020, 06:46 AM
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I have to disagree with the last poster, who you are in high school IS who you will be 5 or 10 years later, UNLESS you change. Changing could mean even just faking an upbeat outgoing personality. Most popular people are just basically phonies so in a way everyone is faking it.

Anyway if you had 10 friends in high school that is pretty good. Being rude or disrespectful to people I think will actually HELP you in some ways, depending. My point is, you can actually be TOO NICE, which people also don't respect.

I just think in high school there are different categories that make you part of the loop. If you are a great athlete and the head of the student council, for example, that would give you a huge head start on the rest of the losers (which was most people). You could be a chess nerd for example, but be the most popular among that group who play chess or dungeon's and dragons or play online video games, so you could have 20 nerd friends and be popular with them, and then you would be off-limits to bullying because you have a whole giant group defending you. If you are a star athlete especially in multiple sports, you kinda are off limits to being an outcast or bullied i would guess. If you could be a star athlete and also Class president or write for the school paper or involved in some other way that makes you even more popular.

My best advice is "fake it till you make it" You can't be negative, always have a peppy fun outgoing personality, come up with a few jokes. Don't mention that you don't get along with family members, for example. Don't mention that you don't like this or that person too much. A lot of topical humor or surface humor or relationships. Everyone else's life sucks too so they don't want to be reminded of negative things. Be a complete phony if it means you being accepted. You aren't really being phony just leaving out any dark depressing thoughts or side to your personality when you are around them
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