Finally deleted Facebook - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-29-2020, 08:45 PM Thread Starter
🌈fox girl - 雌の狐
 
Noraborealis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
A group I was in (LGBT) was discussing how asexual ppl should/should not be included, as the core purpose of LGBT are for those that struggle and are discriminated against. I disagreed by saying I feel like they could be accepted, and the whole point to me was being inclusive. I shared a story about a small group of aces that were riddiculed during a pride. One guy said "eww, they don't like sex? I don't wanna be around those freaks!"

Ppl started to mock me and tear down my comment, and the majority disagreed with me. They carried this overwhelming tough guy act of "just because you think ppl are bullied doesn't mean they belong". I respected their disagreement, but it wasn't mutual. It really bothered me when mods of the group were chiming in. Soon their behavior was gaslighted on me - the internet phenomenon of ppl attacking you then being blamed for the attacks or bringing on yourself. I tried talking to mods about the rediculous reactions toward me and the insults/belittling got even worse. One mod said something as rediculous as "I guess you'll just have to go pee your pants about it then" which just dumbfounded me. I got banned because trying to point out to the biased mods in pm's was "harassment". I eventually lost my cool and told them to f***k off.

It upset me quite a bit. I think the worst part was just being ganged up on and not given a fair chance, yet they kept saying this is a "safe place" and my banning was necessary to keep it "safe".

I'm actually glad it happened. I took it much better than I have in the past. I didn't have this overwhelming feeling of rejecting anxiety haunting me and urge to plead myself innocent. Thanks to that, I decided to pull the plug. FB has been full of toxic comments and experience for years. I know there's some good on FB, but it's just not worth it to me

There are very few things in life worth worrying about.
Those few that are worth worrying about, actually aren't worth worrying about either.

- - -
HOORAY for INTJ/FP
Noraborealis is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-29-2020, 10:06 PM
Not like the other ducks
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: 8800 blue lick road
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 40,884
A lot of LGBT+ people hate some other group of LGBT+ people and that's why we can't have nice things.

I don't think most asexual people consider themselves to be LGBT+ though (unless they are also homo/biromantic,) but the concept of LGBT+ is a bit poor anyway because there are many sexual preferences that are discriminated against and many LGBT people will sort of look down on them or see LGBT as some kind of elitist club.

To be fair I think it's partly a safety thing, if they let in the groups society hates the most and finds the weirdest their street cred with the normies will drop lol. I should probably stop this post here lol.

edit: Do have to address this though:

Quote:
"just because you think ppl are bullied doesn't mean they belong"
This reminds me of some gaslighting a psychopath girl I used to know did to me. Also the whole sentence is kind of ironic t-shirt material really.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 01:50 AM
Narcissistic Rageaholic
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 10,057
My Mood: Brooding
I was on a trans forum quite a few years ago, when I was trying to decide whether or not to come out, and they basically decided I wasn't really trans because I hadn't done X, Y, or Z. They accused me of being a creep (because why else would a non-trans person be on a trans forum?), I got in a bunch of arguments with people over who was and wasn't trans, and they banned me. So I went back into the closet for another decade or so.

I guess they succeeded in convincing me that I didn't belong in their community, because I still don't feel like I do. And I mean, maybe they're right. It's not really up to me to decide. It would have been nice to know at least one other trans woman so I wouldn't feel so alone, but you can't force people to talk to you. And I guess it's too late for that now anyway.

I keep hearing stories from other people about how caring and supportive the LGBT community is but that hasn't been my experience personally. You have to be the right kind of person, just like everywhere else.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
truant is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:42 AM
🌱🐌
 
blue2's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Home 👽
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,502
My Mood: Angelic
Yeah why can't people approach things from a neutral point of view, no matter how bad or evil we think someone is, none of us are above it, it's a tiny part of us all, a human experience.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
blue2 is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:48 AM
📝📸🎬💾🎲⚾🚀⛰🍪💡
 
Paul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: California Republic
Language: '̸̼̩̑́̄͆̾͆̿́̕ṅ̶͒́
Age: 40
Posts: 6,599
Gotta be careful what groups you join and be ready to leave them. All the FB groups I'm in are drama-free.

Play The Social Anxiety Game

"Many people need desperately to receive this message: 'I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone.'" ― Kurt Vonnegut
Paul is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 06:00 AM
SAS Member
 
Serbianw0lf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Islamic Republic Deutschland
Gender: Male
Age: 30
Posts: 126
LGBT people are very racist towards asexual people, i have experienced it myself.
Serbianw0lf is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
🌈fox girl - 雌の狐
 
Noraborealis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
A lot of LGBT+ people hate some other group of LGBT+ people and that's why we can't have nice things.

I don't think most asexual people consider themselves to be LGBT+ though (unless they are also homo/biromantic,) but the concept of LGBT+ is a bit poor anyway because there are many sexual preferences that are discriminated against and many LGBT people will sort of look down on them or see LGBT as some kind of elitist club.

To be fair I think it's partly a safety thing, if they let in the groups society hates the most and finds the weirdest their street cred with the normies will drop lol. I should probably stop this post here lol.

edit: Do have to address this though:

Quote:
"just because you think ppl are bullied doesn't mean they belong"
This reminds me of some gaslighting a psychopath girl I used to know did to me. Also the whole sentence is kind of ironic t-shirt material really.
I agree to disagree, but the point was their level of outrage as if I'd said "being racist is totally cool". Like, their reaction level was off the charts. I bet they all came from 4chan.

One of them made the comment "with your mindset, LGBT becomes this cool club to join" um well the same could be said about it becoming this exclusive club - my view was just more abstract and less literal by definition. They weren't open to it, and was offended by how I "insulted the history" *shrug

I compared them to conservatives losing their sh** over someone burning a flag, and me thinking beyond the assumption that burning = hatered

There are very few things in life worth worrying about.
Those few that are worth worrying about, actually aren't worth worrying about either.

- - -
HOORAY for INTJ/FP
Noraborealis is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:16 PM
Not like the other ducks
 
Persephone The Dread's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: 8800 blue lick road
Language: Eng (UK,) 下手な日本語
Posts: 40,884
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noraborealis View Post
I agree to disagree, but the point was their level of outrage as if I'd said "being racist is totally cool". Like, their reaction level was off the charts. I bet they all came from 4chan.

One of them made the comment "with your mindset, LGBT becomes this cool club to join" um well the same could be said about it becoming this exclusive club - my view was just more abstract and less literal by definition. They weren't open to it, and was offended by how I "insulted the history" *shrug

I compared them to conservatives losing their sh** over someone burning a flag, and me thinking beyond the assumption that burning = hatered
Yeah I mean this is why I'm not that invested in LGBT+ as a group and more just people who have unusual sexual interests whatever they may be. Sadly I don't think it's just 4chan, I see similar attitudes all over the place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by YouTube comment
Yet another man lost to irony poisoning, cynicism, hyper-self awareness and the inability to be sincere.

Persephone The Dread is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:19 PM Thread Starter
🌈fox girl - 雌の狐
 
Noraborealis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Quote:
Originally Posted by truant View Post
I was on a trans forum quite a few years ago, when I was trying to decide whether or not to come out, and they basically decided I wasn't really trans because I hadn't done X, Y, or Z. They accused me of being a creep (because why else would a non-trans person be on a trans forum?), I got in a bunch of arguments with people over who was and wasn't trans, and they banned me. So I went back into the closet for another decade or so.

I guess they succeeded in convincing me that I didn't belong in their community, because I still don't feel like I do. And I mean, maybe they're right. It's not really up to me to decide. It would have been nice to know at least one other trans woman so I wouldn't feel so alone, but you can't force people to talk to you. And I guess it's too late for that now anyway.

I keep hearing stories from other people about how caring and supportive the LGBT community is but that hasn't been my experience personally. You have to be the right kind of person, just like everywhere else.
Its never too late. There's no such thing as "am I trans enough"

Ppl don't get to decide, but I get how it feels like it's too late. I can personally account for that being a totally fearful illusion. Ppl really should have no say in who we are or how we feel. They don't nor will they ever know us enough to make even a good guess

There are very few things in life worth worrying about.
Those few that are worth worrying about, actually aren't worth worrying about either.

- - -
HOORAY for INTJ/FP
Noraborealis is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 04:27 PM Thread Starter
🌈fox girl - 雌の狐
 
Noraborealis's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: USA
Gender: Female
Posts: 276
Quote:
Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noraborealis View Post
I agree to disagree, but the point was their level of outrage as if I'd said "being racist is totally cool". Like, their reaction level was off the charts. I bet they all came from 4chan.

One of them made the comment "with your mindset, LGBT becomes this cool club to join" um well the same could be said about it becoming this exclusive club - my view was just more abstract and less literal by definition. They weren't open to it, and was offended by how I "insulted the history" *shrug

I compared them to conservatives losing their sh** over someone burning a flag, and me thinking beyond the assumption that burning = hatered
Yeah I mean this is why I'm not that invested in LGBT+ as a group and more just people who have unusual sexual interests whatever they may be. Sadly I don't think it's just 4chan, I see similar attitudes all over the place.
Yeah I avoid putting myself much in the LGBT community. I feel like a lot of ppl become melodramatic. Pride events and protesting will never be my thing - hence, me choosing personal morality over the heart or history of LGBT. Then again, it's nice to be around ppl that aren't straight but I'd rather play games or eat food together

There are very few things in life worth worrying about.
Those few that are worth worrying about, actually aren't worth worrying about either.

- - -
HOORAY for INTJ/FP
Noraborealis is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 05:39 PM
Narcissistic Rageaholic
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 48
Posts: 10,057
My Mood: Brooding
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noraborealis View Post
Its never too late. There's no such thing as "am I trans enough"

Ppl don't get to decide, but I get how it feels like it's too late. I can personally account for that being a totally fearful illusion. Ppl really should have no say in who we are or how we feel. They don't nor will they ever know us enough to make even a good guess
Well, I'm out now, but I can't afford to transition, so I doubt any good will come of it. But I won't derail your thread with my problems.

I agree with you in principle about self-identification, but the fact is that gatekeeping happens, and some people are in, and some people are out, regardless of how they personally feel about how they identify, and regardless of how "progressive" the LGBT community pretends to be. Good for you for standing up, though.

Beauty isn't everything. It's the only thing.
truant is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 10-30-2020, 06:23 PM
Temporarily Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Dayton, OH
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 154,256
My Mood: Angelic
@Noraborealis - I don't call it FAKEBOOK for nothing.

INSTASHAM

QUITTER (or somebody said $#1773R)

PICKPOCK

SLIMEO

.....all of them, disgusting!
millenniumman75 is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-01-2020, 11:26 AM
SAS Member
 
Anyn0897's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Age: 37
Posts: 5
I haven't deleted my Facebook account but I am not going on to the site each day for as long as I used to and I have found that I have been more productive as a result. I also take what people post on there with a pinch of salt these days. I use Facebook mainly to keep up with family that live far away from me and former school friends from my primary and secondary school days.
Anyn0897 is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-03-2020, 01:55 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2020
Posts: 1
Quote:
Originally Posted by blue2 View Post
Yeah why can't people approach things from a neutral point of view, no matter how bad or evil we think someone is, none of us are above it, it's a tiny part of us all, a human experience.

That’s exactly how I feel as well. All part of our common human experience. Speaking from a psychotherapist point of view, it’s sad to read that people have such separatist feelings, trying to discriminate and label all the time. Us versus Them and so forth. This doesn’t take us anywhere.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
panchro is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-04-2020, 04:18 AM
aldehyde dehydrogenaser
 
coeur_brise's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Language: Luuvvvv
Posts: 7,235
Constant Facebook has taught me that everyone just wants to be right and that no one under the age of 22 is willing to admit that they're wrong. Theres this sort of arguing and righteous attitude that I just don't get.. maybe it's an age thing or maybe not. I suppose they're finding their "voice" through social media means and well, hate to say it but social media is not real social life. "OK boomer!" Sure.. I was definitely born in the aftermath of WWII. I'm 65. I'm *literally* really old. /facepalming like its 2010
coeur_brise is online now  
post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-04-2020, 05:26 AM
SAS Member
 
Fixxer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Language: French/English
Gender: Male
Posts: 454
My Mood: Pensive
I'm not going to comment on the LGBT because.. you figured it can be dangerous. lol -- LGBT groups should be open minded places, free of judgment.

I wish I could only keep Messenger. I wish less business would make their things through Facebook. I keep messenger for the people I want to keep contact with, in terms of "texting". Well, not having a discussion. Anyway, Facebook made me feel more disconnection than connection. It's a bad habit.
Fixxer is offline  
post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-05-2020, 01:31 PM
SAS Member
 
Unfazed's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Some Hellhole Region
Gender: Female
Age: 28
Posts: 4,375
My Mood: Brooding
Welcome to the No-Facebook club.

I deleted mine back in 2016 and haven't looked back since. Some of those groups were annoying or judgemental as sh*t, including some of the ones dedicated to mental health/social outcast themes.
Unfazed is offline  
post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 11-05-2020, 04:24 PM
SAS Member
 
Fixxer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Canada
Language: French/English
Gender: Male
Posts: 454
My Mood: Pensive
I think the way a group goes has a LOT to do with it's administrator. There are usually little clans and that's how the groups goes. I'm not a fan of Facebook, I'm still trying to leave without wanting to "blast" everyone with memes like (A Facebook logo with a middle finger with (Keep scrolling) marked on top and botom. lol). I mean, it's like the place everybody goes out of habit but where real connections are a rarity. As I said many times in the past, I feel more disconnection than connection on Facebook. for a few years, business and "sponsored" content took over. They now have some sexy video chat ads on the main wall. It's gettng more toxic with every passing day.
Fixxer is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome