Feels like there's no way to get better - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 07:57 AM Thread Starter
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Feels like there's no way to get better


I've been dealing with social anxiety for years, which has worsened to the point where I'm spent my first two years of university shut in my room, not even being able to go downstairs and get food, and have barely spoken to my housemates or anyone on my course.
I've had several counselling sessions in this time, but I've really struggled to put anything into practice as the 'only solution', as I've been told over and over by my Dad, is to "talk to people" - which is exactly the problem in the first place. I know that there aren't really other ways to solve my anxiety, but it feels impossible to make any progress when the only way forward is to throw myself right into the deep end from the start.
I'm terrified that next year will end up exactly the same if I'm not able to make any progress before then, especially as I'll be joined by some new housemates next year, who I've only met once before.
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 09:19 AM
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i know how you feel spatialsound.....im in university myself and find it tough.....im very isolated there.....but then i came across other groups where i could relate to people.....i didnt want to join these groups firstly but i did ultimately......i googled social anxiety self help groups and came across some advertised on www.meetup.com http://www.meetup.com ......these groups are all around the world......through meetup.com i i found out about this social anxiety group, where i met others who suffer from social anxiety.....im just after googling meetup.com and am struggling to find the social anxiety group but i will look in to it and will post it in this thread

also i suffer from depression and joined a self help group for that......in my country the self help group is called AWARE....im not siure what its called in your country but you can look in to it, otherwise you could just ask your counsellor

through these groups i found people i could relate to you might be interested

also i took up the offer of therapy with a psychologist employed by the university
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 12:38 PM
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I can relate, too!
Nowadays in the work environment or when staying in hotels!

I can manage, but it's still pretty difficult and stressful but sometimes it's actually pretty OK or even rewarding!

What did the councilors recommend?
You only mention, what your dad told you!

Of course, like with everything practice is the key! But not by throwing yourself into the deep end!

Do it step by step!!!

Maybe use the kitchen when only one other person is there. Just do something simple first like getting a cup of coffee. When that feels OK sit there for a few minutes and eat a simple food like an apple. Next time you could offer the other person one of your candy-bars (because you bought too many or whatever). Or ask them something simple. You get the idea!

Leave your room every now and then, even if there are people outside and not only when everyone is gone!

Most important:
Try not to feel like you "have" to do and bear it, but because you "want" to do it and want to become more independent!
That makes a huge difference to your brain!!!

Hang in there! 🙂
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GermanHermit View Post
I can relate, too!
Nowadays in the work environment or when staying in hotels!

I can manage, but it's still pretty difficult and stressful but sometimes it's actually pretty OK or even rewarding!

What did the councilors recommend?
You only mention, what your dad told you!

Of course, like with everything practice is the key! But not by throwing yourself into the deep end!

Do it step by step!!!

Maybe use the kitchen when only one other person is there. Just do something simple first like getting a cup of coffee. When that feels OK sit there for a few minutes and eat a simple food like an apple. Next time you could offer the other person one of your candy-bars (because you bought too many or whatever). Or ask them something simple. You get the idea!

Leave your room every now and then, even if there are people outside and not only when everyone is gone!

Most important:
Try not to feel like you "have" to do and bear it, but because you "want" to do it and want to become more independent!
That makes a huge difference to your brain!!!

Hang in there! 🙂
Great advice!
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 07-02-2020, 09:30 PM
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Yes, ditto the baby steps. Sometimes it takes several times to calm down in a nervous situation. Sometimes it takes practice. Remember, over-exposing yourself could lead to avoidance or a trained reaction to a situation. Just be easy on yourself. Easier said than done, but in the end, it's not you. Maybe there's books out there that can help you control an anxious situation? Theres gotta be.

..good luck!
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