Yep, but all grownups do regress back to where we are right now too, they just never had the shame and social anxiety to keep them back from growing up. You know. It's just different lifestyles. I just need to accept it and own it, see the truth that it's because of social anxiety and shame and find a way to move on. I see it like 10 years of an addiction, at least ours was childlike wonder, other kinds of addictions land you in jail or the grave. Even this lifestyle, it's okay and still worth it.