feeling like you failed to grow up and mature like your peers - Page 3 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #41 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 02:34 PM
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@either/or

I've been to some concerts where the majority of the audience is middle aged men. Age 40-60 ish. So I dunno if I can agree with the age thing. Yes it's definitely a form of escapism but it's kind of all ages escapism. And this world is horrific... So people are going to need something.

Some people heard my words and thought it meant they knew me
Truth is, I don't exist, I'm just a soundtrack to your movie
Some background figure in a story that's already scripted
And what I feel's just felt for you to hear me ****ing spit it
I jump in many different heads through these words and poems
Always hoping maybe the next leap'll be my leap home

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post #42 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-26-2020, 04:00 PM
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no wife, no engagement even, no serious partner even.


no house. back to living with parents.


basically think like a a child, all I want to do is have fun and not think about anything resembling a career or long term plans.


play video games and watching anime instead of more mature hobbies.


dress like a kid, like wearing dark/black makeup because I'm weird like that. instead of looking professional and clean cut.


etc.



anyone else? feels.


almost 30 and haven't made it to the real adult stage in this play we call life.

You can have all of the above.. it won't make you feel any more mature. It is not what you have and don't have. It is how you think and how your mind works. Some thing will never really change. However, how other people perceive you, thats a different story.
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post #43 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-27-2020, 08:45 PM
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I have a lot of the characteristics of "peter pan syndrome" ... I am 42 and spent the last 15 years or 17 years going to pro sports games and going to movies. I work very hard but only hard enough to afford a dump, but i live in a rich area and my parents pay most of my bills. Still work full time for years. I was able to BS my way to be with a bunch of women, and turned down a few who wanted to keep seeing me, despite me being a weirdo and outcast. Amazing that I had the audacity to turn anyone down. Anything I got or achieved was through BS-ing, and i bended the rules every step of the way, not a criminal but at age 20 I could have chosen a life of crime and didn't, I am that type, you know. I played video games nonstop from about 1995-2003. Since the coronavirus started, i rebought a ton of games and new games for the classic systems and am now playing up to 10 hours a day. The type of gamer who plays with friends or boyfriend/girlfriend casually is the opposite of me, who closes the shades and isolates in front of a screen alone. Either way, i was way behind everyone my age who I knew every step of the way, no marriage, kids, picket fence, dopey friends coming over to play poker on friday night and get drunk with, the vacations, and/or vacation homes, the picking out useless home decorations like rugs that old boring married people do. I believe most people who get married and follow all those rules and traditions are doing it for show. If everyone else is taking dumb vacations flying overseas taking 1000 new pics every vacation of food they are about to eat and sunsets and idiots jumping in the air pics mid-flight, then why not you? Women want and expect every guy to do vaguely the same BS things, fine dining or some form of it, vacations, elaborate or not, and the marriage and kids thing is just one boring routine from what i have observed. It is like every step of a child's life is now recorded with a camcorder and if the 3 year old kid throws a Tonka toy at the wall, this event is logged in the huge book devoted to them. Children are now so important to parents, where every step is documented, and parents are just as shallow and vapid, buying new rugs and chests and taking vacations so they can upload thousands of pics to Facebook to show their other sheep friends how much nicer their vacation was than theirs was.

Having a relationship or whatever, i had small tastes of it and dated a few gorgeous women, despite me being the biggest loser in all my schools growing up, and the best way to explain it is, everything gets tired and boring. If I could I would have a string of 2-year relationships. Still, turning down the few women who were really into me, because I wasn't into them, so i could be alone, is the most confusing and idiotic decision i ever made. I convinced these women, only through my ability to BS, that I was not the complete outcast and nerdy gawky kid and adult, to the point that I almost believed the lie. I am not good looking enough, confident enough or have a good enough personality to genuinely attract normal people, so I would be forced to lie my way to the top
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post #44 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 01:49 AM
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Yes I'm most likely a lost & scared kid in an adult's body, but aren't we all, alot of people only have children so they can live vicariously through them.






And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death
Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow,
A poor player that strut's and fret's his hour upon the stage and is heard no more,
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
- Macbeth
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post #45 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 02:18 AM
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I've never really felt like an adult. At 36 I'm into pretty much the exact same things I was into as a teenager. Lifting weights, customizing my vehicles, reading books, and video games. I don't see or even want that to ever change. The life of a typical "adult" has no appeal to me. For sure wouldn't trade lives with any of them.

I do have a decent job, I'm in a relationship, and take care of myself. Just not interested in treating life like a series of boxes to be checked. Definitely not interested in being a parent.
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post #46 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 01:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Persephone The Dread View Post
@either/or

I've been to some concerts where the majority of the audience is middle aged men. Age 40-60 ish. So I dunno if I can agree with the age thing. Yes it's definitely a form of escapism but it's kind of all ages escapism. And this world is horrific... So people are going to need something.

Yah true I guess it depends on the band. Like if you're going to see the Rolling Stones or something. I just feel like most shows are kind of a teen / early 20s thing. But I supposed there are worse ways to escape, like into a bottle or pills or something.


I've been out haunting the neighborhood
And everybody can see I'm no good
When I'm walking out between parked cars
With my head full of stars
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post #47 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 02:40 PM
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I pretend to be an adult. I am trying to pursue what makes me happy.

"Without the knowledge to lead so you just follow the sheep"
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post #48 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 04:37 PM
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I've worked for the last nine yrs at a busy grocery store.


Aside from over coming my fear to talking to people, getting a drivers license, buying a car and paying it off, and being an owner of a condo with my older bro, being in no debt--- I really can't think of anything else that I've accomplished this almost past decade... People younger than me at work keep getting promoted before me, even tho I'm essentially a "Yes" man and often do double, sometimes triple shifts. No one takes me seriously. I've gained some weight, girls don't even look at me anymore unless they need something, I don't blame em. I'm plain looking skinny armed average Joe. I've made some friends but that's about it. This lockdown didn't affect my life one bit lmao, aside from wearing a mask at work. All I do is play videogames, watch tv/anime at home as much when I can then work 5 days a week. I have some conversations with peeps at work, yet that's mostly just to pass the time. Nothing substantial really, nothing that would lead to newfound relationships. I've read up on tons of content and have concluded that I never had a chance in acquiring the things I truly wanted out of life, it just doesn't seem like it's in the cards. It's all genetics really and it was just sheer luck that I wasn't stillborn to begin with. I have taken the Black and joined the Night's Watch. I shall never marry, nor sire children. My faith has been shaken and my will to press on has weakened. Oh how did it come to this? Such a naive fool I was to think differently back then. Trust no one, they can only hurt you...


(boots up My time in Portia because the life as an Adventurer/Builder in a Fantasy Video Game is preferable to real life!! T_T )

"All greatness of character is dependent on individuality. The man who has no other existence than that which he partakes in common with all around him, will never have any other than an existence of mediocrity. "
-James F. Cooper


"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there... Wondering, fearing, doubting..." -Edgar Allan Poe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3bMZ5dNsl4
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post #49 of 49 (permalink) Old 06-28-2020, 07:05 PM
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I've worked for the last nine yrs at a busy grocery store.


Aside from over coming my fear to talking to people, getting a drivers license, buying a car and paying it off, and being an owner of a condo with my older bro, being in no debt--- I really can't think of anything else that I've accomplished this almost past decade...
Well you have actually accomplished quite a lot and in a much better shape then a whole lot of people. Being able to buy a car and pay it off, and being a partial owner of a condo with a family member and being debt free is a whole hell of a lot better then many people do. Many people have credit card and student loan debt up to there eyeballs and can barely pay the bills every month. So you done better money wise then a whole bunch of people.

Now you just have get out there and try for a better job if they grocery store job isnt what you want in the future. Start applying for jobs. Nothing to lose if you fail your still where you are today so no downside except the time and effort it takes to look for a better job.

As far as the ladies go you can only control what you can control which means some people won the genetic lottery with better looks. But you can get in shape and dress nice and work on your social and conversation skills. Anybody can improve with women if they do that. You may not be taking home a different woman every night if you do that but you can get better at it
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