Feel such an idiot for cancelling appointment with doctor
I was referred by my GP to see a gastroenterologist through NHS because of mild persistent and annoying discomfort in my lower left abdomen and stool test. Had to wait for 12 months.
For about a year the pain and discomfort stopped, the first appointment was cancelled due to an error with their bookings, the second one because of an ill doctor. Both times caused me a lot of anxiety just going there, plus the pressure at home, feeling mentally depressed with life and everything. It hadn't bothered me for about a year and the anxiety of going to the hospital and bus to a town 2 hours away that I am not familiar with and thought it was gone so cancelled it eventually.
Now it is back, bloating, stomach cramps and soreness...
this is now just another mountain of regret I placed on myself now. I just feel stupid I cancelled it.
Now I don't know what to do. I been having other physical issues with my ears, numbness in my spine and constant tension headaches for 5 years now, and want to see someone about that too.
So it's back to square one.
I feel embarrassed about going back to the GP to write another referral letter for me. I will have to wait again for another 12 months if I re-book again.
I feel such a time waster, an idiot, and he will probably think I am too...
I just wish this life could end. Because I give up with everything. At the same time, I would never end this life. Can't do that.
Just so frustrated right now and regretful.
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