feel like my 'friend' is using me - Social Anxiety Forum
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 01:55 PM Thread Starter
Loading...
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 171

feel like my 'friend' is using me


I don't know why I put up with this .


Advice please?
Dear turtle is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 01:59 PM
roivas yromem eerf lla
 
i just want luv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: snoitirappa fo mlaer
Posts: 2,485
she's either one or the other. A true friend or not a friend. depends on your definition and prospective.
Only you know the true details.
i just want luv is offline  
post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:05 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 595
definently useing you. just ignore her *** too and if you dont want to, whenever she comes to you for advice make it short and simple then leave.
keyla965 is offline  
 
post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:06 PM Thread Starter
Loading...
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by i just want luv View Post
she's either one or the other. A true friend or not a friend. depends on your definition and prospective.
Only you know the true details.
Well a true friend won't make me feel like crap, if that's what a true friend does I'll rather have no friends.
Dear turtle is offline  
post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:16 PM
User Requested Permanent Ban
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 3,564
If she is your friend she's not a very good one (in my opinion). You can control this relationship. If you don't like how she treats you, if ignore her. Or better yet (if you can), confront her about it and let her know exactly how you feel. If she says "... I don't give a ****." or acts like she doesn't care, then she's not your friend and is using you. Either way if you want this to stop you need to somehow let her know how you feel and see how she reacts
Hopeful25 is offline  
post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:39 PM Thread Starter
Loading...
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful25 View Post
If she is your friend she's not a very good one (in my opinion). You can control this relationship. If you don't like how she treats you, if ignore her. Or better yet (if you can), confront her about it and let her know exactly how you feel. If she says "... I don't give a ****." or acts like she doesn't care, then she's not your friend and is using you. Either way if you want this to stop you need to somehow let her know how you feel and see how she reacts
Thank you for your advice, but seriously confront? ...you and I know i'm too much wuss to do that... I will be keeping my distance from now on, she definitely isn't getting any of my luxurious advice. it's going to be a simple "I dunno" from now on.
Dear turtle is offline  
post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:41 PM Thread Starter
Loading...
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by keyla965 View Post
definently useing you. just ignore her *** too and if you dont want to, whenever she comes to you for advice make it short and simple then leave.
Exactly want im going to be doing, but I say this now but I know next time I see her i'm probably going to give in and end up giving advice .
Dear turtle is offline  
post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:50 PM
SAS Member
 
circumlocuter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK - Berkshire/Hampshire.
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 66
Perhaps you are the only person she feels comfortable with venting this stuff to. If shes a popular person, she might be worried about her social reputation dwindling if others found out about her problems, so therefore she confides in you.

What is it that you really don't like? The blanking you in social groups, or the venting? Or both?

If its only one of those things which bothers you really, then only talk to her about that.
circumlocuter is offline  
post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 02:59 PM
Ego Sum Umbra Bellator
 
HackerZC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Lost in Space
Gender: Other
Posts: 232
Hmmm... I'd go with what Hopeful25 said. Let her know what's going on and see what happens... that'll tell you everything you need to know.
Why do you put up with it though? Well, quite honestly I'm betting it's because you don't have many friends and are desperate for attention from whoever will give it to you.
I know, I make that sound so horrible, but I also know I do the same thing myself, and I've gone through what you are right now. I didn't want to accept the fact I was just being used and that no one cared, so I ignored all the warning signs. It was a bad call though because I ended up being totally screwed in the end and ended up so much worse off because of it.

So yeah, see what she does when you confront her about it. If she gives you a bunch of **** then move on. A real friend will give a crap if they hurt you or not.
Now keep in mind some times we hurt the people we care about the most, so maybe that's what's going on here. For all you know she feels like other people are using her the same way you feel she is using you.
Also understand that complaining to someone and hanging out with this are two different things. I complain to a friend of mine ALL THE TIME. I absolutely lover her, but I also know I say things that hurt her some times and I don't always make an effort to hang out as much as she might want to (simply because of how messed up in the head I am).
Maybe she's the same way. *shrug*
HackerZC is offline  
post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 03:02 PM Thread Starter
Loading...
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by circumlocuter View Post
Perhaps you are the only person she feels comfortable with venting this stuff to. If shes a popular person, she might be worried about her social reputation dwindling if others found out about her problems, so therefore she confides in you.

What is it that you really don't like? The blanking you in social groups, or the venting? Or both?

If its only one of those things which bothers you really, then only talk to her about that.
Its the blanking.
Dear turtle is offline  
post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 03:05 PM
SAS Member
 
circumlocuter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK - Berkshire/Hampshire.
Gender: Male
Age: 33
Posts: 66
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capcom View Post
Its the blanking. No she's not popular at all, she only speaks to me and her other 2 friends!
I speak to her friends as well i'm just not that close to them.
I strongly suggest that you only talk about that then. You will both come out better that way. She will still feel like she has a unique bond with you, and you will not be ignored by her.
circumlocuter is offline  
post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-04-2011, 03:37 PM
User Requested Permanent Ban
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Queens, NY
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Posts: 3,564
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capcom View Post
Thank you for your advice, but seriously confront? ...you and I know i'm too much wuss to do that... I will be keeping my distance from now on, she definitely isn't getting any of my luxurious advice. it's going to be a simple "I dunno" from now on.
It's the better option, and it gets your message across loud and clear . If you ignore her she could start talking **** about you behind your back, or say you're a bad friend and what not. If you tell her straight up there's no easy out for her, you're making it clear that she's neglecting you, and if she refuses to care then she's clearly being a ***** and can't make any excuses for herself. But hey, it's up to you.
Hopeful25 is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Feel like a total crappy friend to a friend of mine aviator99 Frustration 5 12-16-2014 12:29 AM
Do you feel really bad when someone tries to be your friend but you don't? jamesd Coping With Social Anxiety 8 05-31-2011 07:38 PM
I feel like a parasite friend arpeggiator Coping With Social Anxiety 3 04-06-2011 08:28 AM
Feel betrayed by friend rawrsmus Frustration 8 02-09-2011 01:15 AM
Told my friend how I really feel Jenikyula gone mad Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 2 03-08-2010 11:06 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome